Tag Archive for 'TV'

Monday Coffee: You Need Your .5 Of An Hour Back

Published on April 18, 2011 in Week in Review. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , .

How to quit your day job. Wait, you mean setting the office on fire as you walk away cackling isn’t actually a good idea? – Consumerist

The average American worker works 8.5 hours a week. So much for the 40 hour workweek. – Gawker

The real workplace battle is taking place and the battleground is the candy jar. Some say it makes everyone fat; some say it makes everyone happy. I say there’s a reason the phrase “fat and happy” exists. – Wall Street Journal

NOT winning – Charlie Sheen’s behavior of late provides some excellent tips for getting fired. – The Work Buzz

It may not be as obvious as Mad Men or The Office, but Discovery’s Deadliest Catch is a workplace show too. – Salon

Here’s how to explain to your parents why you’re unemployed – in handy infographic form! – I Love Charts

Can a fad diet help you get promoted? Yes, but not in the way you think. – Blisstree

Your Office Has a Hoarder In It

Published on March 22, 2011 in Quotes. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , .

I’m obsessed with Hoarders on A&E – every episode ends with me frantically scrubbing the floor in my bathroom, convinced that if I don’t I am going to die alone under a pile of decade-old magazines. Matt Paxton is the star of the show – a cleaner, organizer, and amateur therapist, he deals with many of the show’s most outrageous and unmanageable hoarders. In an interview with Bloomberg, Paxton says that not only does every family have a hoarder, every office does too. Think about it: do you know which employee always has a stash of pens? Who has a secret candy jar? These small collections might be evidence of a bigger hoard. I know I’m guilty of keeping extra stuff at my office – a sweater or change of clothes in case I need to go out after work and am not dressed properly, clear nail polish in case I get a run in my tights, and maybe whatever leftovers I’m going to warm up in the fridge today and eat for lunch. But does that make me a hoarder? I’m not sure, but I think this is an excellent time to break into the office Lysol stash.

Super-Trainer Jillian Michaels Has an Overweight Assistant

Published on March 15, 2011 in Celebrity Assistant Soapbox and Quotes. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

Jillian Michaels has left The Biggest Loser and moving to the next chapter in her life. She recently gave an interview to the New York Times magazine about her new book and becoming a mother. But the part that most interested me – of course – was about her assistant, who is overweight. Here’s an excerpt (parts in bold are the interviewer):

I would be reluctant to sit down and have dinner with you, because I imagine you would look at my spare tire and see unresolved issues.
I actually have quite a few people in my life that are heavy. One of my assistants is heavy. We don’t ever talk about it. It’s not my place.

Is she going to learn from reading this article that she’s heavy?
She says it to me all the time. The one thing I don’t like her to do is eat McDonald’s, not because it makes her heavy, but because I know it will kill her, because it’s poison. We have a deal. She can buy whatever groceries she wants, but no high-fructose corn syrup, no trans fats, no artificial sweeteners, no MSG. Other than that, I’ll leave her alone.

Teen Mom Amber Dating a Tattoo Intern

Published on February 17, 2011 in Interview. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , .

Amber Portwood, who famously beat up her boyfriend on MTV’s Teen Mom and subsequently lost custody of her kid, is now dating a tattoo artist she met when he was interning at the tattoo parlor where she got inked. I didn’t really know that tattoo parlors needed interns – I’m going to guess that this was more of an apprenticeship, since the dude now works as a tattoo artist, rather than like a “answer the phone and factcheck all the tats” kind of internship. Also, he apparently was not responsible for the tattoo Amber got of her daughter Leah’s face (pictured, of course), so that’s something in the positive column for him.

No, You Shouldn’t Bring Your Assistant On a Date With You

Published on January 24, 2011 in Celebrity Assistant Soapbox. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

Today on The Frisky, Rachel Kramer Bussel writes about a date she went on with a former Top Chef contestant. Though Bussel wondered if her knowledge of the show would be a plus or a minus on the date, his reality TV connection was much less weird than some other things about him. Namely, the fact that he brought his personal assistant along on the date:

When we got to the restaurant, the assistant sat on one side of me and he sat on the other. He proceeded to whisper in my ear and tried to make out with me. “What about your assistant?” I kept asking.

“Oh, she’s fine,” he said, nibbling on my ear. “She doesn’t mind.”

She didn’t, but I did. I wish that was the end of the story, but it’s not. I tried to dodge his kisses while the assistant chatted with the guys next to us. They encouraged me to try the rock shrimp, which was delicious—though it would’ve been better had I not already eaten dinner.

And yes, it got weirder.

Though I was beginning to realize he was not the love of my life, I was still somewhat intrigued. We all wound up going back to my hotel room. Yes, all three of us. Meanwhile, I was texting my ex-boyfriend, who was encouraging me to live it up, lamenting his own lack of youthful debauchery. “Trust me, I’ve been there, done that,” I texted back. “I’d really rather be with you.”

As much as I crave alone time, I think part of me, after already anticipating the lure of a date in a new city, wanted things to work out. I wanted not so much sex, but companionship; maybe once we got rid of the assistant, something would spark between us. But no sooner had we entered my room than his assistant went to sit in a chair in the corner while he took his clothes off. “I’m going to take a shower; want to join me?” he asked, making himself at home.

This guy was clearly capital-W weird, and good on Bussel for quickly realizing her date wasn’t life partner material. But I would love to know what was running through the assistant’s head all night. Does she get paid extra for her wingwoman/chaperone duties, or is that de rigeur? It’s bad enough being a third wheel when both the other people are your friends, but when it’s your boss and his date of the evening that has got to be a master class in awkwardness.

Jane Lynch to Play Cartoon Assistant

Published on December 18, 2010 in Fictional Assistants. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

Two of my favorite things are combining: Jane Lynch and The Simpsons. The Glee star (who in my mind will always be the Mighty Wind star) will appear on The Simpsons as Homer’s new assistant, Roz. In the episode, “Replaceable You,” Roz goes into All About Eve mode, undermining Homer and trying to usurp his job. (To be fair, the man’s completely incompetent, so it’s probably not hard for someone to do better than him.) Executive producer Al Jean described Roz thusly: “This woman seems terrifically nice, but then it turns out she’s just completely undermining him every step of the way and gets his job – until he can discover her one weakness with the help of Ned Flanders!”

Despite my general disinterest in anything on The Simpsons post season 10, I am going to have to watch this episode.

Mariah’s Fetus Already Has An Assistant

Published on November 4, 2010 in Celebrity Assistant Soapbox and Video. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , .

… well, not really. But it seems so realistic! After all, considering we’re talking about a woman who has an army of assistants and made one of them plan her wedding here, the fetus will probably have its own legion of nannies. Hello Kitty shaped ones, perhaps.

Monday Coffee: Enjoy Your Links, Sweetie

Published on September 13, 2010 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

What do chick flicks have to teach you about work? Lots, like “don’t take your bad day out on your cat” (Breakfast at Tiffany’s) and “never cry at the office” (A League of Their Own). – Flavorwire

A quarter of women in the UK say they hate nicknames at the office. The most hated nicknames include “love,” “babe,” and “hon.” – The Daily Mail

Is it a good idea for a boss to play a joke on his employees by bringing a “poop cake” into the office? The answer is always, always “No.” – The Stir

Not getting enough sleep, combined with working late, makes for unproductive employees. If you need be, I’ll be napping under my desk. – Huffington Post

The Black Cloud, The Feeder, The Jezebel. No, they’re not pro wrestlers – they’re some of the coworkers you should never, ever be friends with. – Lemondrop

The Grateful Dead have a lot to teach us, and not just about drugs. They’re great managers! – The Atlantic

One upside of the recession? Failure doesn’t really mean what it used to. Yay? – Newsweek

Has anyone contacted you via Facebook claiming to offer you a job? Like most things on the internet, it’s probably a scam. – BizJournals

For some reason I have yet to figure out, Real Housewife of DC and White House party crasher Michaele Salahi has a personal assistant. – Monsters & Critics

Monday Coffee: Everybody’s Hustling

Published on August 23, 2010 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , , , , .

Larry King will be staying to host his CNN talk show through the end of the year, despite announcing his retirement. Why? Some speculate it’s because his rumored replacement, Britain’s Got Talent judge Piers Morgan, needs more time to get his US work visa. Celebrities – they’re just like us! – The Guardian

Kimora Lee Simmons announced that she is leaving her company, Baby Phat… via Twitter. Don’t people send press releases anymore? – Styleite

Tokiko Shimizu, the first female head of Japan’s First Bank, says that women aren’t getting enough opportunities to get job experience early on, which hurts them when they want to take on management roles later. – Bloomberg

Trying to get a new job, even though you’re currently employed? Here are some tips for looking for a new job without getting caught. – ForbesWoman

Some brilliant person is encouraging lawyers to communicate with their assistants more. Hell, learning their names would be a good start. – Law.com

A bunch of New York City public school teachers got busted for taking fake sick days when they posted vacation photos on Facebook. For the billionth time, this is why you put your boss on limited profile. – New York Daily News

A Muslim woman is suing Disney, claiming she was fired from her job waitressing at one of their hotel restaurants because she wore a headscarf. – AOL Jobs

The very funny Allie Brosh has some tips for establishing dominance at the workplace Dog Whisperer style. And it’s in cartoon form, obvs. – The Gloss

Have you ever had to quit a job before you started it? For those of you in that enviable position, here’s how to do it without being a bad guy. – Wall Street Journal

Holly Madison’s Assistant Is Also Her Understudy

Published on August 12, 2010 in Celebrity Assistant Soapbox and Video. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , , .

As assistant gigs go, this one’s not bad: Holly Madison’s assistant, Angel Porrino, will be taking over Holly’s role in the Las Vegas show Peepshow while Holly is on vacation. The fill-in only lasts for a week, but I can definitely say that in all the times I ever covered for my boss I never go to do anything remotely as interesting as that.

For those of you who watch Holly’s reality show Holly’s World, Angel is a regular cast member. Here’s a clip from when she celebrated her 21st birthday on the show: