Tag Archive for 'the other side of the aisle'

advice from the person interviewing you

Published on December 29, 2009 in Survival Guide and Tip of the Week. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

In the semi-regular feature here at STA, “The Other Side of the Aisle,” bosses get a chance to talk about work from their perspective. Here, one boss (we’ll call her “Cheryl”) talks about her experiences interviewing potential assistants and gives helpful pointers about what bosses want people to say or do in interviews.

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As someone who interviews 15-20 people a year, mostly for part time admin positions, I see a variety of folks come through my office: some who think they have found the perfect job, others who are just simply in need of anything that will keep them busy or pay the bills. The following are a variety of patterns I have seen over and over again – they are truly meant to help people like you who are on the search. It may sound strict, but when you get over 200 applicants for one position, it’s the little things that stick out. Here are some simple tips that anyone can use to set themselves apart.

If you read this and these things sounds super crazy obvious, all the power to you- you’re probably already getting to the top of the resume piles!

DO: Follow the instructions on the job posting.

AND: If it says no calls, please don’t call. Even if you are super-qualified and experienced, it will likely get your name on a list of people who won’t get interviews because why bother interviewing someone who can’t follow directions?

DO: Show up on time for the interview.

AND: If you get to the area early, grab a coffee nearby or take some time for yourself to transition into “interview mode.” More than 15 minutes early is overdoing it – it’s tacky and if you’re interviewing at a small office, your presence can actually be awkward for those who are about to meet with you. If the folks interviewing you don’t jump to take you early, especially if they are just finishing with someone else, don’t act disappointed. I suggest waiting patiently with a magazine in the lobby or simply reviewing your resume. Yes, excessive text messaging will give the impression that this is what you will do with all of your in between time, or when the boss isn’t looking.

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your boss’ guide to firing you

Published on August 18, 2009 in Buzzwords. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be on the other side of a firing or layoff? One of the downsides to being a boss is having to let people go, especially when it’s not because they deserve it. Well, now The Washington Post introduces you to “The Five O’Clock Club” – an “outplacement” firm. What, you may ask, is outplacement? It’s a corporate buzzword for laying people off. And companies like The Five O’Clock Club (which I’ll call T5OCC) come in to help companies figure out which people to lay off and how.

While the point of this article is probably to help people – especially ones who lost their jobs recently and are pissed about it – sympathize with what it’s like to be the layer-offer, it doesn’t do much to humanize the characters. Having employees of T5OCC spout off lists of names and numbers – six here, 20 there – doesn’t make me feel sorry for them. If anything, it makes them look like vultures, who are surviving by feeding off of the dying. Take paragraphs like this, for example:

The Five O’Clock Club has nearly doubled in size during the past two years, and Hall has guided more than 200 companies and 1,500 laid-off workers through downsizings in the past six months. The Club, as it is sometimes called, charges each company about $2,000 per fired employee in exchange for providing layoff victims with a year of career coaching. The more businesses that suffer, the better for business at the Club. When Hall joined the company in 2007, she read in the employee handbook that “from time to time, employees will receive small bonuses when the company is doing exceptionally well.” Now those bonuses come almost every month.

Maybe I should reward these people for their business acumen, but all I feel like doing is being mad that they exist in the first place.

a guide to coworkers you hate

Published on June 23, 2008 in Junk Drawer. 0 Comments Tags: , .

Most of the time, STA’s scorn is directed at evil bosses. However, sometimes it’s not your boss who makes you crazy all day–it’s your coworkers. Here are four types of coworkers who aren’t as well documented as, say, The Sidler from Seinfeld, but manage to annoy the hell out of you regardless. 

The Popcorn Burner: Every office has this person. He or she has not mastered the simple art of making popcorn in a microwave. At least once this person has caused the fire alarm to go off and the fire department to show up. This person is a moron.

The Loud Talker: When you work in a cube farm, it’s a given that everyone can hear each others’ phone calls. More discreet employees take personal calls in private offices or take their cell phones into a secluded part of the office. Not the Loud Talker, though.  That followup call with the specialist? The fight with their mom? The rehashing of last night’s drunken hilarity? All there for your listening (dis)pleasure.

The Prom Committee Co-Chair: Is it someone’s birthday? Did somebody have get engaged? You can bet that this perky, permasmiling coworker has taken it upon him or herself to pick out an expensive flower arrangement and go around the office making everyone chip in and sign a card. My friend Peter needs a special mention in this category: when a male coworker’s wife had a baby, Peter signed the card “Good job knocking up your wife.” This is why we are friends.

The Aspiring Ebert: In the immortal words of Salt-N-Pepa, “opinions are like assholes, and everybody’s got one.” Yes, people are entitled to their opinions, and you are entitled to not give a fuck about them. If someone’s weighing in on a work-related matter, that’s one thing. But when the super chatty coworker the next cube over thinks you really want to know their opinion of that movie that just came out, or how kids today totally don’t appreciate Zeppelin, or what they would do if they were running for president, just put your headphones on.

the other side of the aisle: tips for interviewers

Published on May 30, 2008 in Tip of the Week. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

You definitely know what it’s like to go on interviews. But odds aren’t as high you’ve ever had to interview someone. This blog post gives insight into what it’s like to sit on the other side of the desk. It may be aimed at bosses instead of assistants, but the highly practical tips should make both parties happy. (Note: I hate when people don’t let you know one way or the other if you got the job. Not knowing is the worst!)

Don’t forget: you represent your company. Once, I got an interview with a “marketing boutique.” I was kind of excited about it. It sounded trendy, fast-paced, and down right fun. Upping the cool quotient was the fact that the office was based out of the owner’s studio loft apartment in a trendy par of town. I arrived at the apartment at the agreed upon time and knocked. I was greeted by the owner, a woman in cotton shorts and a t-shirt, no makeup, and flip flops. Her apartment was a mess, including the unmade bed in plain sight. Meanwhile, I was in a suit with light makeup and jewelery. The woman was abrasive, blunt, and down right annoying. I suffered through the interview and went home. I never contacted her again. I understand the perks of working out of your house. But seriously? A previously scheduled interview with a potential co-worker and you don’t even change clothes or make your bed?

If you end up not hiring someone, have the decency to tell them. Not that long ago I interviewed for an office position with a real estate group. The first interview went well and I came back for a second interview. The agent seemed excited and said many times how much she would like to hire me. At the end of the second interview, she even said “I’ll be in touch. I think we’re getting close.” I waited the alloted amount of time and when I hadn’t heard from her, I called and left a message. A few days later I emailed her. Two days after that, I saw the job re-posted on craigslist with the phrase, “We are looking for the RIGHT candidate.” Ouch. My respect for this woman went way down. I can handle not being right for the job. But after two interviews and hints that I WAS right for the job, are you really so cowardly that you can’t tell me you won’t be hiring me?

Click here for more.

‘office space’ director returns to movies

Published on May 13, 2008 in Fictional Assistants. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

Director/animator Mike Judge is responsible for Beavis and Butthead and King of the Hill, so we already like him, but his spot-on movie Office Space is half the reason we have this site in the first place. So we’re thrilled to hear that Judge has another project coming to the big screen. Extract (due sometime next year) stars Arrested Development alum Jason Bateman as a boss in an “evil twin sequel” to Office Space. Bateman’s character is a boss at a factory who hates his job and his life.

It’s a slightly new perspective on the workplace movie, and although we’re worried about Judge making a sympathetic boss character instead of fighting for the working class hero, he’s good enough at what he does that we think the final product will be worth seeing no matter what your employment status is.

kinds of assistants who suck

Published on February 15, 2008 in Junk Drawer. 0 Comments Tags: , .

While we acknowledge that lots of bosses suck, and that if they didn’t this website would be pointless, we occasionally have to concede that some assistants suck too. Here are some types we’ve noticed:

The Brat: This assistant may have gone to a prestigious college or is from a really privileged background. Regardless, he struts in the first day expecting to immediately get assigned projects, and then has a near-breakdown when someone asks him to make coffee.

Debbie Downer: Maybe this assistant had a negative personality to begin with, or maybe she’s been so beaten down by her job that she’s having a permanent bad day. No matter what you do, this assistant will suck the life out of anyone around her. If you say “I just got a raise!” she’ll find a way to make you feel like shit, perhaps pointing out that someone else got a higher raise, or that the one you got still won’t catch you up to the standard of living.

The Imaginary Mogul: Even though he’s an assistant, this guy uses generous helpings of the company stationery and tells people at networking events that he has way more power than he does. It could be delusion, or it could be that he’s read too many of those books that tell people to “dress for the job they want, not the job they have,” but at the end of the day he just looks like a jerk.

The Backstabber: This assistant has big dreams. She may be a peon now, but she has watched The Devil Wears Prada at least fifty times and has absolutely no objection to stabbing every other assistant in the back if it means she’s the one who gets the coveted promotion. And, truth is, she’d do it even if there was nothing at stake.

The Joiner: This assistant somehow finds times to be part of an intramural soccer team, on the steering committe for a couple of charitable organizations, and a member of an award-winning dance troupe. That’s fine, except that he feels the need to invite you to everything. You can’t go through a day without multiple CC-the-whole-office emails about the latest charity event he’s hosting, and without also being made to feel guilty for not paying $200 for a seat at the table.

Mary Sunshine: The polar opposite of Debbie Downer. Usually, she’s the newest person at the company and hasn’t been broken down yet. But it’s also likely that she has some kind of external thing shielding her from the horrors of assistant life–maybe she’s independently wealthy and thus doesn’t have to stress about stretching her paycheck. Regardless, if you want to vent about something, this is the woman who will tell you to “keep a happy face on” while she refreshes her kitten-with-umbrella screensaver.

Tell us who we missed!

the other side of the aisle: are you driving your boss crazy?

Published on August 16, 2007 in Junk Drawer and Uncategorized. 0 Comments Tags: , .

OK, OK, we admit it. Even though bosses are mean and suck as people, sometimes an assistant is not perfect either. The book 45 Things You Do That Drive Your Boss Crazy lists some of the ways that employees go wrong. Author Anita Bruzzese makes some valid points:

Let’s get this straight right off the bat: Bosses do not hire you to fire you.

It costs money to recruit and train someone, from the lowest position at a company to the top brass. It takes time and energy away from current employees every time someone has to show a new worker where the bathroom is or how to use the computer system.

To read more, and get more insights into what it might be like to be a boss, click here.