Lindsay Lohan’s assistant Eleanore quit her job recently. Now, she’s reportedly being offered five-figure deals to sell her story to tabloids. While Eleanore is allegedly not sure what she’s going to do, I thought we could take a nice little trip down memory lane and reflect on what happened to some of Lindsay’s other former assistants.
- Lindsay Ratowsky left LiLo to go work for Jessica Biel. LiLo was not happy.
- Back when Lindsay had two assistants, the second one (Tarin) quit. Tarin’s mom came to pick her up from Lindsay’s house and as they drove away Lindsay gave chase in her car, and … well… we all remember how that ended.
- Kate Major went on to work at Star magazine, have sex with Jon Gosselin, leave her job at Star to be with Jon Gosselin, and then got dumped. She is currently engaged to Lindsay’s dad, Michael Lohan. I think I need to gargle with Listerine after having written this.
- Jenni Muro worked for Lindsay for a long time, saved her from drowning, and is still one of her close friends. Also, she is probably qualified for sainthood now.
I don’t know if this answers the question about Eleanore, but I would not be shocked if she says yes. I think it depends on what she wants to do careerwise after this. Lindsay’s a total idiot if she didn’t make Eleanore sign an NDA, especially after all the assistant drama she’s had in the past. If Eleanore really wants to be a PA for another celebrity, talking about Lindsay in the press will not endear her to future celebrity employers. But if she’s more of an Alli Sims type who is just trying to launch her own clothing line or promote her new single, then I predict it’ll be about ten seconds before Eleanore signs on the dotted line and lands herself a photo shoot in Life & Style. Mark my words.
Remember our old friend Kate Major – the one who quit her job at Star magazine because she fell in love with her story subject, Jon “Ick. Nast.” Gosselin and reportedly agreed to work as his personal assistant? Rather than disappear completely, Kate has chosen to stay around and make my life more enjoyable with her wacky antics. Once she and Jon were over, Kate hightailed it over to Jon’s best frenemy, Michael Lohan. Now the gruesome twosome have moved to LA together and are getting married. How can this story possibly get more absurd, you ask? Well, Popeater now claims that Kate used to be Lindsay’s (as in, Michael’s daughter) personal assistant several years ago. Lindsay is reportedly not at all happy to have Kate as her new stepmom and, for once, I totally agree with her. So, let’s see if we can reconstruct the Kate Major timeline…
- Lives in LA
- Works as Lindsay Lohan’s assistant
- Moves to New York
- Works for Star
- Leaves Star, Gosselin fiasco
- Hooks up with Michael Lohan
- Back to LA
- Now.
Something about all of this seems totally off. Now, I like a good conspiracy theory, so here’s mine: this entire thing, start to finish, was planned by Kate and Michael. Maybe they got together when Kate was working for Lindsay, and Lindsay was (rightly) grossed out by her dad hooking up with her assistant and fired Kate. Michael, who has lots of celebrity magazine connections thanks to his career of selling stories about his kid for a living, called in a favor and got Kate a job at Star. They kept seeing each other in secret and when she realized they could make names for themselves by aligning themselves with tabloid magnet Jon Gosselin, they used him as a pawn in their scheme. Man, this is brilliant. And terrifying. I think I need to step away from the computer for awhile.
When crazypants Kate Major, who left her job at Star magazine to date reality “star” and father of eight Jon Gosselin, I thought she was completely making up her story that Jon offered to hire her as his personal assistant. However, it seems I owe Ms. Major an apology: in a lawsuit against Gosselin by TLC, the network that aired Jon and Kate Plus Eight and claims he violated his contract with them, one piece of evidence is a handwritten employment agreement between the two. In the document, Gosselin says he will pay Major the same amount of money she was making at her previous job to be his assistant. According to today’s New York Daily News:
The secret contract, dated July 28, 2009, reads: “I, Jon Gosselin, will employ Kate Major as a personal assistant,” pledging to give her “some but not all future accounts.”
Gosselin also wrote that “she will receive a percentage of accounts for payment based upon involvement.”
Major also promised in the newly revealed document, to “run any media inquiries past Jon Gosselin before doing any on-air or print work.” She likewise pledged to give Jon approval over questions and to exclude questions he nixed.
Major has been subpoenaed to testify in the case. This is getting good. I wonder if TLC will summon Michael Lohan as well?
Even if you never watched any of TLC’s “let’s give shows to people who have big families” block of reality TV (I’m a fan of the Duggars, personally), you know who Jon and Kate Gosselin are. The parents of twins and sextuplets have a hugely popular show, Jon & Kate Plus 8, on the cable network but joined the roster of regular tabloid subjects now that they’re divorcing. Now, dad Jon has turned into a massive tool, ODing on self-tanner, hanging out with Lindsay Lohan’s estranged dad, and dating a series of women. One of those women, Kate Major, quit her job at Star magazine (where she was assigned to write a story about Jon) to be with Gosselin – only to get dumped. What’s a jobless, spurned girl to do? Sell her story, of course. She recently appeared on CBS’ Early Show:
Major says she had a steamy, 12-day affair with Jon. On “The Early Show” Friday, she said she quit her job to pursue a personal assistant role and relationship with Jon that he offered.
Major said when Jon remarked publicly that he couldn’t be with anyone, she thought he was breaking off the relationship for the show and his kids. But, Major said, she didn’t bargain on Jon going back to his 22-year-old girlfriend, Hailey Glassman.
Not only would I not quit my job to date some dude with eight kids and an embarrassing earring, I would not quit my job to become his personal assistant! Maybe that’s some kind of code I don’t get or something, but the whole thing sounds totally fucked up.
There’s video of Kate Major in all her crazy glory after the jump.
Continue reading ‘would you be your boyfriend’s assistant?’
Lindsay Lohan’s assistant Eleanore quit her job recently. Now, she’s reportedly being offered five-figure deals to sell her story to tabloids. While Eleanore is allegedly not sure what she’s going to do, I thought we could take a nice little trip down memory lane and reflect on what happened to some of Lindsay’s other former assistants.
