I’m obsessed with Hoarders on A&E – every episode ends with me frantically scrubbing the floor in my bathroom, convinced that if I don’t I am going to die alone under a pile of decade-old magazines. Matt Paxton is the star of the show – a cleaner, organizer, and amateur therapist, he deals with many of the show’s most outrageous and unmanageable hoarders. In an interview with Bloomberg, Paxton says that not only does every family have a hoarder, every office does too. Think about it: do you know which employee always has a stash of pens? Who has a secret candy jar? These small collections might be evidence of a bigger hoard. I know I’m guilty of keeping extra stuff at my office – a sweater or change of clothes in case I need to go out after work and am not dressed properly, clear nail polish in case I get a run in my tights, and maybe whatever leftovers I’m going to warm up in the fridge today and eat for lunch. But does that make me a hoarder? I’m not sure, but I think this is an excellent time to break into the office Lysol stash.
Tag Archive for 'reality TV'
Amber Portwood, who famously beat up her boyfriend on MTV’s Teen Mom and subsequently lost custody of her kid, is now dating a tattoo artist she met when he was interning at the tattoo parlor where she got inked. I didn’t really know that tattoo parlors needed interns – I’m going to guess that this was more of an apprenticeship, since the dude now works as a tattoo artist, rather than like a “answer the phone and factcheck all the tats” kind of internship. Also, he apparently was not responsible for the tattoo Amber got of her daughter Leah’s face (pictured, of course), so that’s something in the positive column for him.
Today on The Frisky, Rachel Kramer Bussel writes about a date she went on with a former Top Chef contestant. Though Bussel wondered if her knowledge of the show would be a plus or a minus on the date, his reality TV connection was much less weird than some other things about him. Namely, the fact that he brought his personal assistant along on the date:
When we got to the restaurant, the assistant sat on one side of me and he sat on the other. He proceeded to whisper in my ear and tried to make out with me. “What about your assistant?” I kept asking.
“Oh, she’s fine,” he said, nibbling on my ear. “She doesn’t mind.”
She didn’t, but I did. I wish that was the end of the story, but it’s not. I tried to dodge his kisses while the assistant chatted with the guys next to us. They encouraged me to try the rock shrimp, which was delicious—though it would’ve been better had I not already eaten dinner.
And yes, it got weirder.
Though I was beginning to realize he was not the love of my life, I was still somewhat intrigued. We all wound up going back to my hotel room. Yes, all three of us. Meanwhile, I was texting my ex-boyfriend, who was encouraging me to live it up, lamenting his own lack of youthful debauchery. “Trust me, I’ve been there, done that,” I texted back. “I’d really rather be with you.”
As much as I crave alone time, I think part of me, after already anticipating the lure of a date in a new city, wanted things to work out. I wanted not so much sex, but companionship; maybe once we got rid of the assistant, something would spark between us. But no sooner had we entered my room than his assistant went to sit in a chair in the corner while he took his clothes off. “I’m going to take a shower; want to join me?” he asked, making himself at home.
This guy was clearly capital-W weird, and good on Bussel for quickly realizing her date wasn’t life partner material. But I would love to know what was running through the assistant’s head all night. Does she get paid extra for her wingwoman/chaperone duties, or is that de rigeur? It’s bad enough being a third wheel when both the other people are your friends, but when it’s your boss and his date of the evening that has got to be a master class in awkwardness.
How do you handle making a personal call while on the clock? Here’s a hint: don’t use your boss’ direct line. – Corporette
The “close door” button in your building’s elevator? Doesn’t work. The office thermostat? Yeah, that doesn’t work either. Notice a trend? – Consumerist
What’s the difference between a dream job and your goal? A plan. – Lifehacker
Will having a professional nemesis drive a woman to become more successful? I don’t know, but I hope people quit using pictures of people from The Hills to illustrate these stories. – ForbesWoman
Trace the assistant from Flipping Out is really hot. – DListed
You never knew that pictures of people at their desks could be this beautiful. – The Guardian
Some people, like Megan and Jane from Mad Men, think it’s cool to marry your boss. This much wiser person does not. – The Gloss
What do chick flicks have to teach you about work? Lots, like “don’t take your bad day out on your cat” (Breakfast at Tiffany’s) and “never cry at the office” (A League of Their Own). – Flavorwire
A quarter of women in the UK say they hate nicknames at the office. The most hated nicknames include “love,” “babe,” and “hon.” – The Daily Mail
Is it a good idea for a boss to play a joke on his employees by bringing a “poop cake” into the office? The answer is always, always “No.” – The Stir
Not getting enough sleep, combined with working late, makes for unproductive employees. If you need be, I’ll be napping under my desk. – Huffington Post
The Black Cloud, The Feeder, The Jezebel. No, they’re not pro wrestlers – they’re some of the coworkers you should never, ever be friends with. – Lemondrop
The Grateful Dead have a lot to teach us, and not just about drugs. They’re great managers! – The Atlantic
One upside of the recession? Failure doesn’t really mean what it used to. Yay? – Newsweek
Has anyone contacted you via Facebook claiming to offer you a job? Like most things on the internet, it’s probably a scam. – BizJournals
For some reason I have yet to figure out, Real Housewife of DC and White House party crasher Michaele Salahi has a personal assistant. – Monsters & Critics
As assistant gigs go, this one’s not bad: Holly Madison’s assistant, Angel Porrino, will be taking over Holly’s role in the Las Vegas show Peepshow while Holly is on vacation. The fill-in only lasts for a week, but I can definitely say that in all the times I ever covered for my boss I never go to do anything remotely as interesting as that.
For those of you who watch Holly’s reality show Holly’s World, Angel is a regular cast member. Here’s a clip from when she celebrated her 21st birthday on the show:
Last night at the Fashion Forward event organized by the Gay Men’s Health Crisis, I got to meet one of my favorite TV assistants – Andrew Mukamal, assistant to Kelly Cutrone both in real life and on her show Kell On Earth. Andrew is just as funny and nice in person as he is on television. Here’s me posing for a photo op with him. Of course, he looked fabulous and, of course, I was rocking my best “I had a hangover and rolled into work this morning looking like a bum” chic.
Not every relationship works out – whether that’s husband/wife, parent/child, or boss/employee. But when that relationship dissolves in public, it’s even messier than a regular breakup. Lately, I’ve been watching as stylist to the stars and reality show centerpiece Rachel Zoe has used the fashion media to trash her former assistant, Taylor Jacobson (pictured at left in happier days), who was fired at the end of the last season of The Rachel Zoe Project. Anyone who watched the show saw the obvious tension between Taylor, who’d worked for Zoe some time, and Brad, the second assistant who was hired just as the reality show kicked off. Taylor hoped that hiring Brad meant she’d be promoted into a more managerial position or taking on additional responsibility, but that didn’t really pan out. Naturally, Taylor was frustrated by what she saw as stasis.
Zoe told WWD that “I hired Brad, this little angel, and then Taylor just went in for the kill. And I, like, did not see that coming. I always knew what she was capable of, but who knew that was going to happen with the camera?” Not content to let the mean-bitter-Taylor-picks-on-poor-adorable-angel-Brad storyline rest, Page Six ran an item claiming that Taylor had stolen clothes from her boss. I’ll quote Zoe herself (also from the WWD interview) when she talks about what Taylor’s up to now: “I don’t care what she does.” I also don’t care what Taylor does, but I do care about the fact that Zoe, who I previously respected as an entrepreneur, is talking shit about a former employee in the press. Taylor, to her credit, has barely made a peep. In fact, I didn’t know where she was working until the WWD article mentioned her new job (it’s for a denim company called Kasil).
Is it right to steal clothes? No. It is right to pick on an employee just because you don’t like them, even if you are just taking out your own issues on them? No. And is it right for the boss, the person with the power and the influence, to publicly talk shit about a former employee? No. Rachel Zoe is not some random woman scorned – she is a well known figure in the fashion world who works with celebrities, has tremendous clout, and makes a lot of money. When she goes after Taylor, she looks like she’s kicking someone who is already down. It may be that every single thing she says about Taylor is true, but I don’t care. She’s saying these things in order to promote her reality show and get more people to watch it, and I find that tacky. It would be another thing if Taylor applied for a job somewhere and someone called Zoe to ask whether they should hire her – you’re allowed to say “No, I would not recommend hiring her because she did X and Y when she worked for me” to someone else in the industry if they call about a job reference. But to give interviews to fashion industry publications trashing a former employee, even if you’re 100 percent in the right, just comes off as gross and uneccessary. Zoe has already won: she’s the one who is famous, has a TV show, and gets paid a lot of money to help celebrities pick out clothes. Continuing to smear Taylor is the equivalent of Patti LuPone using a public platform to insult a community theater actor.
I’m sure that Zoe, as she says, is just out to “set the record straight.” The record wasn’t crooked in the first place. However, the new season of The Rachel Zoe Project starts in August. I’m certain that’s totally a coincidence.
Cross-posted at The Gloss
Flavorwire’s list of their favorite assistants from pop culture is pretty good. They have some of the usual suspects in there (Betty Suarez, Smithers, Jessica Zajicek), some up-and-comers (Andrew from Kell on Earth, who I keep meaning to do a post about), and some unconventional picks (until this list came out I thought I was the only person who preferred Emily to Andie in The Devil Wears Prada). But there’s one assistant they single out who I have sadly not ever done an ode to here on STA:
PAULA DEEN’S GAY ASSISTANT BRANDON.
That guy is so awesome. Gay Southerners are among my favorite people ever.
Ever wondered how they pick the people who end up on reality shows? Phil Wallace, a recent USC business school graduate, independent sports consultant, and founder of AwardsPicks.com (also, full disclosure: he’s my cousin), made it through several audition rounds for the next season of The Apprentice. After doing several celebrity seasons, the show is returning to its regular-people format next year and will focus on people who have been affected by the recession. Phil sat down with STA and talked about his experience auditioning for the show.
- I heard about the show from a couple of people, and someone contacted me about auditioning. The Apprentice is totally my guilty pleasure TV – I watch the regular and celebrity editions, and I always thought I could do really well on the show. I spoke to a casting agent on the phone for ten or fifteen minutes – she asked about my work history and my salary history. She told me that I could either do a home video or an in-person interview next, so I decided to do the in-person tryout. It was at a hotel in L.A. near Universal. She told me she would put me on a VIP list so I wouldn’t have to stand in line. She also said that I was trying too hard to impress her and to remember it’s a recession-themed show, so you need a downtrodden story.
- LA was the fifth city they did auditions in. One of the other cities was Detroit, so I am pretty sure they wanted a laid-off autoworker. They also did New York, Atlanta, and Las Vegas.
- The application was pretty short, just one page. It asked for work and salary history, and a proudest accomplishment. There was also a part where they asked you to tell something embarrassing about yourself. It also asked why you thought you would make a good Apprentice.
- I got there at 7:30 AM, and auditions were supposed to start at nine. The line was down the street. I’d guess there were 400-500 people there. There were people who had camped out overnight or arrived early in the morning. Because I was on the list they moved me to the front of the line. I was with some people who arrived at 5 AM. There were a bunch of people in the VIP group from Pink Slip Mixers – they’re a networking group for people who just got laid off. Most of the people in my group were from Pink Slip Mixers.
- I was in a room with six other people. They had us fill out our applications in advance, so you handed the application to a casting agent, who then put you in a boardroom-type setting. The agent’s name was Gina. She sat on the other side of table from us, and asked, “Why are we in a recession?” Everyone started talking over each other. No one was moderating. It was a mess. Because our group was all from the VIP group, people who really wanted to be on the show, it was insane. Everyone recognized they needed to speak up and everyone realized they needed to shine, so it was bound to be just a giant shouting match.
- It was six of us guys and one woman. She has her own online talk show, and was able to take control of the room a couple of times. There were moments where one person talked and everyone listened and some where we [informally] split into smaller groups of three or four and just talked with the people near us. We naturally retreated a little bit and talked to people who were sitting close by, since we were all talking over each other. One guy decided to be “the questioner,” so he just started to ask questions. It actually really helped, because we were disorganized. The casting agent ignored us and read our applications the whole time.
- Most of the people were middle-aged. One guy was in his 30s and had been a franchisee for a fast-food chain and said he just got a job at McDonald’s. I don’t know if he meant managing another franchise or flipping burgers. He and I went back and forth a bit because he wanted to blame the recession on Bill Clinton and I wanted to blame it on Goldman Sachs.
- This went on for about 20 minutes. Then Gina stopped us and asked some people who they would fire and some who they would hire. The Clinton guy said he would fire me. She asked why, and he said “I didn’t like his points.” She asked which points, and he finally admitted he couldn’t remember. When it was my turn, I said I wouldn’t fire the other guy just because we disagreed politically. I was sort of trying to defend myself in case the casting agent actually thought there was legitimacy to the other guy wanting to fire me. I said I would fire a guy who was also named Phil because there couldn’t be two Phils on the show. In seriousness, though, I said that he was the guy who had a lot of experience – probably the most experience, he had been a VP of Operations somewhere – but didn’t speak up that much.
- Gina wrote some numbers on our applications and said she’d call within the week if we were chosen for an individual interview. I never got a call, so that was the end of that.
