“Having a relationship with someone you work with might not always be the smartest move.”
- Penn Badgley, who plays Dan on Gossip Girl and is dating his costar, Blake Lively
Tag Archive for 'Quotes'
“My house is like a Benetton ad. I have French nannies, my security guards are Israeli, I have assistants from Argentina and Puerto Rico as well as a Japanese assistant and chef, and another chef from Italy. It’s wonderful. I love it.”
- Madonna in Rolling Stone
[Side note: does she mean she has a Japanese assistant and a Japanese chef, or that one person from Japan is both an assistant and a chef? Because that is one combo job I've definitely not heard yet.]
“My first boyfriend’s mother was in wardrobe and I was her assistant. The first film I worked on was Mommie Dearest. I used to measure people nipple to nipple. The first line I heard from Miss Dunaway was: ‘Who is that fat girl in my eyeline?’ I was terrified. Funnily enough, when I became a movie star for five seconds [in The People vs Larry Flynt, for which she won critical acclaim], Sharon Stone called me and said, ‘Welcome to the industry. When I got here, Miss Dunaway welcomed me.’ And I was like, ‘Miss Dunaway has welcomed me already.’”
- Courtney Love in the Times Online
Supermodel Elle “The Body” Macpherson is so beautiful that, apparently, everyone is mesmerized into wanting to be her personal assistant. Sara Paxton, one of Macpherson’s costars on the new series The Beautiful Life, said in an interview:
“I become Elle’s personal assistant - when she’s around, she’s so beautiful, I’m like ‘Elle, would you like the fruit platter?’ ‘Elle, cheese plate?’ and they’re like, ‘Sara, you’re in this scene, calm down’.”
“I forget sometimes what I’m doing,” she continued.
Man, supermodels must save so much money by not hiring assistants and instead just letting people be transfixed by their beauty and thus desire to wait on them. I should try that technique.
Courteney Cox has a new show (the horrifyingly named Cougar Town), and that means she’s doing a whole slew of interviews to promote it. Her interview in the L.A. Times is a pretty classic example of how celebrities try to look endearing. Those steps are below, with appropriate corresponding Cox quotes.
1. Tell some anecdote about how ‘normal’ you are, with bonus points if it relates to being a mom.
“Recently my daughter had lice. OK? Wasn’t fun. Became a big outbreak in the house.”
2. Blame paparazzi and/or “the media” for getting in the way of you trying to be all normal all the time.
When Cox went on a non-picturesque errand to buy anti-lice nit combs at Hair Fairies, a.k.a. “The Head Lice Helpers,” three paparazzi were accompanying her.
3. End by reminding everyone how not normal you are, thus revealing your complete lack of perspective.
“So I stayed in the car, and I called up my assistant, and I said, ‘Dude, I can’t get out of the car.’ So that’s the only problem.”
Great try, Courteney! However, making your assistant buy lice combs for your kid is on par with making him or her (I consider using the word “dude” gender-neutral) take your kid on a tour of the sewer. Also… when you referred to that lice “outbreak” earlier, who exactly were you talking about? Because I know you don’t have any other kids, so was it you who also got lice? The nanny? Or perhaps … the assistant?
Model and Project Runway host Heidi Klum is due to give birth to her fourth child soon. She told the website Femalefirst.co.uk that managing a house full of kids has given her some skills that assistants out there might find familiar:
Someone always has to be the captain of the ship. I’m definitely the organiser of who is doing what. What are we eating, where are we going, what’s the plan for the day, making sure everything runs smoothly. I would have been a very good event planner. Or a personal assistant.
It’s certainly an odd movie to claim taught me something about the workplace, but Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead, the great ’90s movie starring Christina Applegate when she was still best known for being Kelly Bundy, actually gave me a really useful piece of work advice. When Applegate’s character, Sue Ellen, fakes a resume and gets a job as an assistant at a fashion company, her boss, Rose, teaches her an incredibly useful phrase: I’m right on top of that, Rose. Sue Ellen learns to use that phrase anytime it needs to look like she’s working on something or a higher-up wants to know how a project is going. Sue Ellen may not even know what the hell they’re asking about, but she sure as hell will claim to be “on top of it.”
While the movie is completely unrealistic, that notion of saying you’re doing something when you don’t have any plans to do so is a pretty common office phenomenon. At my first assistant job, I used “I’m right on top of that, [Evil Boss' Name],” all the time. My boss, who was in his 70s and had no idea that I was quoting a movie to him, would always seem satisfied with my answer.
This line is also incredibly useful with your parents, your neat freak roommate, your professor, or anyone else who is trying to make you behave like an adult when you don’t want to. Are you done with that term paper? I’m right on top of that, Professor Rose. Are you planning to come home for Christmas? I’m right on top of that, Mama Rose. See? It really is perfect. Thanks for that, Christina Applegate.
“Karl is like a dad. I’ve known him since I was 16 – I would do a lot for Karl. I was once on his plane flying to China. He wouldn’t stop talking. After a while, I said to him, ‘I have to sleep now Karl.’ When I woke up 10 hours later he was still talking to some poor assistant!”
- Diane Kruger, actress and former model, to Tatler magazine (via SassyBella)
“I went to my fridge the other day and was so angry there was no bread. I called my assistant and said, “what happened to the bread?” She said, “Your trainer told me to take it!”
- Gerard Butler, discussing his worst habit, in People magazine
“The people I chose to run my new store in London are nice. I cannot work with b*****s, I can’t, I can’t. Maybe I am too sensitive, I get blocked. There are some people who don’t give a damn. With me, I find that if there is no energy flowing or no connection, I can’t think. Talent is amazing — I love it, appreciate it. I respect talent a lot. But if you ask me, ‘Talent and b***h, or less talent and good?’ I’ll go with less talent.”
- Lanvin fashion designer Alber Elbaz, via New York magazine