Lindsay Lohan’s assistant Eleanore quit her job recently. Now, she’s reportedly being offered five-figure deals to sell her story to tabloids. While Eleanore is allegedly not sure what she’s going to do, I thought we could take a nice little trip down memory lane and reflect on what happened to some of Lindsay’s other former assistants.
- Lindsay Ratowsky left LiLo to go work for Jessica Biel. LiLo was not happy.
- Back when Lindsay had two assistants, the second one (Tarin) quit. Tarin’s mom came to pick her up from Lindsay’s house and as they drove away Lindsay gave chase in her car, and … well… we all remember how that ended.
- Kate Major went on to work at Star magazine, have sex with Jon Gosselin, leave her job at Star to be with Jon Gosselin, and then got dumped. She is currently engaged to Lindsay’s dad, Michael Lohan. I think I need to gargle with Listerine after having written this.
- Jenni Muro worked for Lindsay for a long time, saved her from drowning, and is still one of her close friends. Also, she is probably qualified for sainthood now.
I don’t know if this answers the question about Eleanore, but I would not be shocked if she says yes. I think it depends on what she wants to do careerwise after this. Lindsay’s a total idiot if she didn’t make Eleanore sign an NDA, especially after all the assistant drama she’s had in the past. If Eleanore really wants to be a PA for another celebrity, talking about Lindsay in the press will not endear her to future celebrity employers. But if she’s more of an Alli Sims type who is just trying to launch her own clothing line or promote her new single, then I predict it’ll be about ten seconds before Eleanore signs on the dotted line and lands herself a photo shoot in Life & Style. Mark my words.
Remember our old friend Kate Major – the one who quit her job at Star magazine because she fell in love with her story subject, Jon “Ick. Nast.” Gosselin and reportedly agreed to work as his personal assistant? Rather than disappear completely, Kate has chosen to stay around and make my life more enjoyable with her wacky antics. Once she and Jon were over, Kate hightailed it over to Jon’s best frenemy, Michael Lohan. Now the gruesome twosome have moved to LA together and are getting married. How can this story possibly get more absurd, you ask? Well, Popeater now claims that Kate used to be Lindsay’s (as in, Michael’s daughter) personal assistant several years ago. Lindsay is reportedly not at all happy to have Kate as her new stepmom and, for once, I totally agree with her. So, let’s see if we can reconstruct the Kate Major timeline…
- Lives in LA
- Works as Lindsay Lohan’s assistant
- Moves to New York
- Works for Star
- Leaves Star, Gosselin fiasco
- Hooks up with Michael Lohan
- Back to LA
- Now.
Something about all of this seems totally off. Now, I like a good conspiracy theory, so here’s mine: this entire thing, start to finish, was planned by Kate and Michael. Maybe they got together when Kate was working for Lindsay, and Lindsay was (rightly) grossed out by her dad hooking up with her assistant and fired Kate. Michael, who has lots of celebrity magazine connections thanks to his career of selling stories about his kid for a living, called in a favor and got Kate a job at Star. They kept seeing each other in secret and when she realized they could make names for themselves by aligning themselves with tabloid magnet Jon Gosselin, they used him as a pawn in their scheme. Man, this is brilliant. And terrifying. I think I need to step away from the computer for awhile.
Jenni Muro, Lindsay Lohan’s long-suffering assistant/manager (who reportedly finally quit this year) has been through a lot: she was there the night that Lindsay’s second assistant quit and LiLo went on a high-speed pursuit, and she once saved her boss from drowning in an overflowing bathtub. Really, the woman should be getting combat pay.
Now, though, another member of the Lohan family is making Jenni’s life miserable – Lindsay’s famewhore dad, Michael. Michael, who claims to want to help his drug-addled daughter but is happy to collect money from tabloid programs in the meantime, released a voicemail that Jenni left him. In the message, Jenni says, “I get a 5% commission on this entire TV show and it’s sick and disgusting and I’m here and I give up my boyfriend and my dog and my parents and my new place in LA and everything so that your daughter doesn’t kill herself, ok?”
Yikes. TMZ reports that Jenni plans to send Michael a cease and desist letter and might potentially sue.
Lindsay Lohan’s assistant Eleanore quit her job recently. Now, she’s reportedly being offered five-figure deals to sell her story to tabloids. While Eleanore is allegedly not sure what she’s going to do, I thought we could take a nice little trip down memory lane and reflect on what happened to some of Lindsay’s other former assistants.
