What is it with assistants and sex toys lately? First Melissa Etheridge has her assistant deliver a box of dildos, and now a boss in Queens is being sued for giving an employee a vibrator for her birthday.
Astoria-based insurance broker Ibrahim Mansi tries to take care of his employees, and when one of his favorite subordinates, Silvia Olveira, celebrated her 33rd birthday in October 2009, he wanted give her the gift of unparalleled pleasure. But everything went terribly wrong as soon as Olveira opened up the present Mansi had put so much thought and effort into selecting. “When I opened it, I saw this thing,” Olveira tells the Post. “I was like, what is this?” That “this” was a vibrating dildo. And unbeknownst to Mansi, this sort of gift is frowned upon in today’s modern workplace.”I didn’t know what to do in that moment,” says Olveira. “I went outside and took the bag and threw it in the garbage. I called him and said, ‘Don’t do that anymore.’” Trying to salvage the awkward situation, Mansi explained that he usually gets a cake for his employees, but he thought Olveira had earned special treatment. Olveira recalls him saying, “Come on, girl. You don’t know how to enjoy your life.” And when Mansi asked what became of his gift, Olveira tactlessly told him, “I threw it in the garbage.” Couldn’t she have at least re-gifted it?
I have a hunch she’s going to win this lawsuit. Could her boss be any more of a cliche? He’s like a mustache-twirling Captain Evil cliche of a bad boss. It’s like a rejected script for The Office or something.
Supermodel Erin O’Connor’s former personal assistant, Michelle Knox-Brown, is being charged with embezzlement after allegedly stealing more than £45,000 from her employer. The money reportedly came from a combination of charges on O’Connor’s credit cards, petty cash, and cab fares. Knox-Brown’s trial is slated to begin in London in March, and O’Connor has agreed to testify against her former assistant.
The movie Made in Dagenham is about women pushing to get equal pay for equal work in 1960s Britain. – Picktainment
You know who else wants equal pay for equal work? Batgirl. – Comics Alliance
Napping at work is good for you. Someone tell my boss that the next time I get busted nodding off in a meeting. – Yahoo
To cut costs, many companies are making holiday parties employee-only, not allowing significant others to attend. But does this increase the likelihood of drunken coworker hookups? – CNBC
Can you get sued for unfriending one of your coworkers on Facebook? I don’t know, but this is why I warn you against accepting their requests in the first place. – Geekosystem
Two words: “underearners anonymous.” Where I’m from, they just call this “everybody.” – Bundle
Six hilarious reasons to ride a polar bear to work. Anyone who deals with the MTA knows you don’t even need a reason. – The Oatmeal
This publication seems to think that all women cry in the office, are “moody,” and backstab each other constantly. Is the second half of this article about how the wimminz belong in the kitchen? – The Daily Mail
Should your boss be allowed to tell you what to weigh? The obvious answer (unless you’re a Victoria’s Secret model) should be no, but it’s a lot more complicated than that. – Allure
Want to quit your job, but don’t want to risk a dramatic walkout? Here’s some advice for quitting your job without burning bridges. – The Gloss
Not getting enough sleep can ruin your whole day. How can you get your sleep cycle back on track and get better at your job? – Forbes Woman
Men who earn less than their wives or girlfriends are more likely to cheat. Probably because you are emasculating him by succeeding and something instead of spending all your time cooking him meals and massaging his feet. – NPR
It hasn’t aired a single minute of programming, but Oprah Winfrey’s new TV network has already been hit with its first lawsuit. An employee with multiple sclerosis is claiming that a hostile work environment made her illness even worse. – Entertainment Weekly
Women’s desks may look cleaner, but they’re actually teeming with vermin. It’s probably because they’re moody and backstabby and belong in the kitchen. – ABC2
In one of the more fucked-up things I’ve ever come across while running this site, today Steven Seagal was accused of sex trafficking. A woman named Kayden Nguyen is suing the former action star, claiming that she applied for a job as his executive assistant only to find out that Steven defined “assistant” a little bit more like most people define “escort.” From her lawsuit:
Upon arriving to the job, she claims that Steven was also keeping” two young female Russian ‘Attendants’ on staff who were available for his sexual needs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.”
Kayden alleges in her suit that though he had these two girls, on the first night of the job, Steven treated her “as his sex toy”, allegedly pushing his hands under her skirt, fondling her breasts and forcing his hand down her pants. Though she complained about the indecency the next morning, it happened again the following day. Along with the sexual assault, she claims Steven forced her to “consume illegal pulls.” [I assume this is "pills."] She is now suing him for over $1 million.
Um, wow. I really have no words. Well, except “gross.” That is one word.
STA’s mascot, Naomi Campbell, is once again back in the news with some assistant-related drama. However, this time she’s the one suing instead of the one being sued. Naomi brought a suit against her former assistant, Vanessa Frisbee, who allegedly violated her non-disclosure agreement by selling a story about Naomi to a tabloid publication. Instead of waiting for a verdict, Naomi claims she’s “tired of litigation” (excuse me while I laugh hysterically for a minute) and has pulled the plug on the whole trial. That doesn’t come cheap, though – she now has to pay £300,000 for her and Frisbee’s legal fees.
In other European celebrity assistant news, U2 bassist Adam Clayton is pressing charges against his former assistant, Carol Hawkins, whom Adam alleges embezzled €1.8 million from him over the years. From the Irish Times:
Mr Sreenan [Clayton's attorney] said the matter went back to September 2008 when Ms Hawkins – who worked as a housekeeper and personal assistant – had come to Mr Clayton and confessed she had misappropriated €13,000 of his money. He had dealt with this in “a compassionate manner” and had altered his financial arrangements accordingly and kept her on in employment.
However, counsel said it had since emerged that Ms Hawkins, without the authorisation of Mr Clayton, had used his debit and credit cards.
On November 19th last, when allegations were put to her, she had accepted the cards had been used and money taken without Mr Clayton’s authorisation but she had disputed the sums involved, Mr Sreenan said. Her employment had been terminated.
Quite the celebrity assistant drama going on this week! I’m definitely keeping an eye on these two cases. Plus, did you know Adam Clayton used to date Naomi Campbell (see photo)? Isn’t it great when these posts come full circle?
The Wayans Brothers – Shawn, Marlon, and Keenan Ivory – have also been longtime collaborators. Their latest project isn’t a movie but a book, 101 Ways You Know You’re a Golddigger. However, Jared Edwards, who worked as an assistant to the brothers for over a decade, claims that the book was originally his idea and that his famous bosses stole it. In a lawsuit, Edwards says he originally conceived the idea for a book called You Know You’re A Golddigger When… and told the Wayanses about it. He claims that the Wayanses liked the idea a lot and offered themselves up as cowriters. Edwards then quit his assistant job to work on the project full-time.
If Edwards is telling the truth, then the Wayanses did a shitty thing and should definitely face the music. However, there’s one thing that bugs me about all of this – why is a corny-sounding book full of one-liners about golddiggers considered such a brilliant, innovative idea? And furthermore, why is it an idea you’re so proud of that you’d go to court in order to stake your claim to it? Are golddiggers about to become the new vampires? Regardless, we’ll see how the lawsuit shakes out over the next few months. I’m going to bet it gets settled out of court.
Anne Burrell hosts Secrets of a Restaurant Chef on the Food Network, and she has the skills to back it up – she was the executive chef at New York’s Centro Vinoteca restaurant. However, just because she made it to the top of her profession doesn’t mean she didn’t step on anyone to get there. Slashfood got their hands on documents relating to a lawsuit filed against Burrell by former employees:
According to the suit, rehashed in a dismissal motion, Burrell was hung up on Centro Vinoteca’s employees’ breasts; She told one employee that leaning over the bar was “slutty,” commented “repeatedly” on another employee’s cleavage and announced that a bartender had “saggy boobs,” creating a special “saggy boob” hand gesture to mock her. The complaint further states that Burrell suspended an employee for allegedly stealing a piece of cheese, claimed an employee faked an ovarian cyst and banged a pan when a manager urged her to be a better communicator.
Burrell is about to get a second Food Network show – Worst Cooks in America. Perhaps she can also get a gig appearing on a spinoff about America’s worst bosses?
When crazypants Kate Major, who left her job at Star magazine to date reality “star” and father of eight Jon Gosselin, I thought she was completely making up her story that Jon offered to hire her as his personal assistant. However, it seems I owe Ms. Major an apology: in a lawsuit against Gosselin by TLC, the network that aired Jon and Kate Plus Eight and claims he violated his contract with them, one piece of evidence is a handwritten employment agreement between the two. In the document, Gosselin says he will pay Major the same amount of money she was making at her previous job to be his assistant. According to today’s New York Daily News:
The secret contract, dated July 28, 2009, reads: “I, Jon Gosselin, will employ Kate Major as a personal assistant,” pledging to give her “some but not all future accounts.”
Gosselin also wrote that “she will receive a percentage of accounts for payment based upon involvement.”
Major also promised in the newly revealed document, to “run any media inquiries past Jon Gosselin before doing any on-air or print work.” She likewise pledged to give Jon approval over questions and to exclude questions he nixed.
Major has been subpoenaed to testify in the case. This is getting good. I wonder if TLC will summon Michael Lohan as well?
