Ever worked for a company that let people bring their pets to work? I did, and when my cubemate brought in his cocker spaniel it made my whole day more interesting. Well, one office in Corpus Christi, TX, has the right idea. When an employee of the J.C. Elliot Landfill found a cute kitten among the garbage, he brought the kitty (named, appropriately, Elliot) back to work. Elliot is now the “office cat.” If you click this link about the story, you will find both an adorable picture of Elliot at work on his computer and a good Office Space joke. In the meantime, I’ve decided this is an excellent excuse to post one of my favorite kitty videos. This is really going to improve the quality of my Monday.
Tag Archive for 'Junk Drawer'
Page 2 of 5
Have you ever run low on work excuses? I mean, your grandmother can only die so many times before it starts to sound suspicious. That’s why someone thought up “The Office Kid,” a kit which helps you seem like you’re a parent. The kit includes a photo of a cute-looking kid (in the ethnicity of your choice), a child-produced drawing that you can hang up in your office, and a list of offspring-related excuses. It’s perfect if you suddenly decide to pull a Lindsay Lohan in “Labor Pains” and pretend to be pregnant to get sympathy – in this case, you’ll have years’ worth of excuses without even having to produce an actual child. Just remember to be consistent about what the little angel’s name is.
[Via STFU Parents]
The African prince spam email is such a well-known one that by this point I almost chuckle at the sight of one in my inbox. However, the recession is causing spammers to get creative – if people don’t have money, then what else can you extract from them? Easy – offer a job. ITWorld’s Cara Garrison reports on one recent spam email she got:
The letter is from Jacob Dube, who says he’s “looking for a goodhearted person with a possible life line to assist me.” Dube claims to be the personal assistant to the president of Zimbabwe, whom Dube describes as a despot responsible for fixing recent elections. Dube says the president has asked him to move $22.5 million to Malaysia, where the president will high-tail it to should he be forced out of the country.
But Dube has other plans.
“I have decided to divert this money for my personal use,” says Dube, “and probably to invest it in [an] oil/gas contract in your country.”
Dube has already deposited the money in a South African bank, so here’s the ‘call to action’: “All I want you to do for me is to come to South Africa so that we can change the ownership of the deposit to your name…” That’s all this guy wants from you. He then goes on to describe how dangerous South Africa is for foreigners, detailing the latest attacks and killings that have been going on.
Well, I’m sold. Meet you guys in Africa! Last one on the plane is a rotten egg.
I’ve been a bridesmaid in two weddings. Both times it was a lot of fun, but there’s also a lot of work involved. When my best friend from college got married, she was determined not to be a Bridezilla, and step one was sending all the bridesmaids a selection of 50 possible dress cuts and letting us vote, “Survivor”-style, on which ones we would and wouldn’t wear. After two weeks or so, we had it down to two styles, one for the flat-chested girls and one for the curvy ones. I liked my dress so much that – believe it or not – I’ve actually worn it again. When it came time for the actual wedding, the bridesmaids pitched in a lot – running errands the day of the ceremony, making sure the rehearsal went well, and the like.
This article from The Canadian Press talks about wedding season and how being a bridesmaid is like being a better dressed personal assistant. I found this sentiment, while somewhat truthful, really chafing. I guess for me “assistant” equals “working,” and I don’t consider doing my part to make sure that my friend has a wonderful and memorable wedding day anything close to resembling work. I was an assistant because I needed to pay the bills, I was a bridesmaid because I love my friend and was honored to be included in her special day.
For those of you who have been bridesmaids (or groomsmen), would you consider that the same thing as being a temporary personal assistant?
It looks like the Lego People business “cards” have some competition for coolest business cards ever. A new company called Meatcards will now print you your very own business card on a piece of beef jerky. As a Southerner who once dated a boy who extolled the virtues of beef jerky as “steak – but portable!” I can see why people might find the concept interesting, but I have to admit they look a little too much like stretched-out human skin for my taste. Still… at least no one would forget you after a networking event.
Photos are here – don’t say I didn’t warn you.
If you’re unemployed, self-employed, or otherwise don’t have a business card for whatever reason, you can now get some of the Facebook business cards designed by Jean-Baptiste Gouraud. The card, which looks like the top part of someone’s profile (or the little box that pops up when you click on a person’s name but don’t have access to view their profile), is a good way to remind people of your name and also encourage them to add you as a friend on Facebook. If you really use your profile to network with people and not just to post embarrassing drunken photos or figure out which Grey’s Anatomy character you are, this is a great way to get the process going and also give people a cute momento to remember you by.
My friend Emily Churchman is an assistant and a craft-making genius in a way I could never be, and she recently made me my very own crocheted Workplace Zombie. The little guy now sits on my desk and scowls at me from under his mass of shaggy, unwashed hair. Outfit wise, he’s like Dilbert but with an edge.
Emily does not have a website, but maybe this shameless plug of her awesomeness will finally encourage her to open that Etsy store she’s been talking about. Til then, you can make Corporate Zombies and other fun crochet creatures by using the book she works off of, Christopher Haden’s Creepy Cute Crochet.
One last thing – my Zombie needs a name! If you have suggestions, please leave them as comments or email me at contact@savetheassistants.com. He’s missing an eye – I was going to glue it back on, but I kind of think he looks cooler without it.
My friend, the photographer Nick McGlynn, took some awesome photos from yesterday’s unemployment Olympics.
Check out his photo gallery here.
Once again proving that my own unemployment is rich fodder for other people, the New York Times reports what the contents of my trash can could already tell you – when the going gets tough, the tough get sweet tooths.
In a rare case of someone doing well during this economy, stores like New York’s Dylan’s Candy Bar and Economy Candy are reporting upticks in sales as adults indulge their candy habits. Those who have been recently laid off or are earning less money are finding that candy is a quick – and cheap – high. In particular, they’ve been buying candy that they loved as kids, from Violet Gum to Mary Janes to Tootsie Rolls. [My own drug of choice is strawberry or cherry sour punch straws, and at my old job they were my favorite form of cubicle speed.] Just last week, I had an entire conversation with a friend about how awesome Bubble Tape was and how confounding it is that no one’s bringing it back. Maybe articles like this one will convince people that Bubble Tape is seriously due for a comeback. Til then, I’m just reading it and getting hungrier.
Finally, some good news – all that doodling you’ve been doing in meetings is actually beneficial. The little swirls and flowers and stick figures of your boss with knives all over his body “thought to focus the mind and stop daydreaming, allowing people to persevere with dull tasks,” according to The Daily Mail.
A recent study asked 40 men and women to listen to a long, tedious phone message listing details for a party. When quizzed later on the contents of the message, people who had doodled during the phone call were more likely to remember the names of guests, locations, and other critical details.
If you’d like to print this out and casually slip it to your boss the next time she tries to look over your shoulder and see those “notes” you’re taking during the meeting, you have my blessing.
