Tag Archive for 'job ads'

Time Traveler Seeks Assistant

I just watched Back to the Future for the first time (I know, it’s shameful) and am obsessed with time travel. So the idea of responding to this ad for a time traveler’s assistant is looking reeeeeeeeeally tempting right now.

Horror Story: Love’s Blind, Work’s Not

This month’s Cosmo has a great work horror story:

I really hated my last job. They treated me like crap, and I was so fed up that I actually searched for openings while at work. One day, I saw a posting that looked promising. It had an anonymous email address to send a resume to, and I didn’t think twice about applying. An hour later, I was fired on the spot. Turns out, I had applied to my current employer, and since it was anonymous, I had no clue. They asked me to leave the office immediately.

See, people, this is why I hate anonymous job postings. I always assume they’re traps.

Monday Coffee: Enjoy Your Links, Sweetie

What do chick flicks have to teach you about work? Lots, like “don’t take your bad day out on your cat” (Breakfast at Tiffany’s) and “never cry at the office” (A League of Their Own). – Flavorwire

A quarter of women in the UK say they hate nicknames at the office. The most hated nicknames include “love,” “babe,” and “hon.” – The Daily Mail

Is it a good idea for a boss to play a joke on his employees by bringing a “poop cake” into the office? The answer is always, always “No.” – The Stir

Not getting enough sleep, combined with working late, makes for unproductive employees. If you need be, I’ll be napping under my desk. – Huffington Post

The Black Cloud, The Feeder, The Jezebel. No, they’re not pro wrestlers – they’re some of the coworkers you should never, ever be friends with. – Lemondrop

The Grateful Dead have a lot to teach us, and not just about drugs. They’re great managers! – The Atlantic

One upside of the recession? Failure doesn’t really mean what it used to. Yay? – Newsweek

Has anyone contacted you via Facebook claiming to offer you a job? Like most things on the internet, it’s probably a scam. – BizJournals

For some reason I have yet to figure out, Real Housewife of DC and White House party crasher Michaele Salahi has a personal assistant. – Monsters & Critics

Monday Coffee: Everybody’s Hustling

Larry King will be staying to host his CNN talk show through the end of the year, despite announcing his retirement. Why? Some speculate it’s because his rumored replacement, Britain’s Got Talent judge Piers Morgan, needs more time to get his US work visa. Celebrities – they’re just like us! – The Guardian

Kimora Lee Simmons announced that she is leaving her company, Baby Phat… via Twitter. Don’t people send press releases anymore? – Styleite

Tokiko Shimizu, the first female head of Japan’s First Bank, says that women aren’t getting enough opportunities to get job experience early on, which hurts them when they want to take on management roles later. – Bloomberg

Trying to get a new job, even though you’re currently employed? Here are some tips for looking for a new job without getting caught. – ForbesWoman

Some brilliant person is encouraging lawyers to communicate with their assistants more. Hell, learning their names would be a good start. – Law.com

A bunch of New York City public school teachers got busted for taking fake sick days when they posted vacation photos on Facebook. For the billionth time, this is why you put your boss on limited profile. – New York Daily News

A Muslim woman is suing Disney, claiming she was fired from her job waitressing at one of their hotel restaurants because she wore a headscarf. – AOL Jobs

The very funny Allie Brosh has some tips for establishing dominance at the workplace Dog Whisperer style. And it’s in cartoon form, obvs. – The Gloss

Have you ever had to quit a job before you started it? For those of you in that enviable position, here’s how to do it without being a bad guy. – Wall Street Journal

J.Lo Is Hiring An Assistant/Babysitter/Cook

Jennifer Lopez is hiring a personal assistant. But like many celebrity assistant positions, this one requires a lot more than taking dictation and making phone calls. Life & Style magazine spoke to an “insider,” aka J.Lo’s former assistant, about what exactly the gig entails:

“The job is 6 days a week, at least 12 hour days with one day off, but you may not get off for weeks,” says the insider. “You’ll be on call 24/7 and you’ve got to be organized and always on point.”

And while hanging out with A-Listers may be glamorous – the insider notes the candidate must be comfortable around “very high profile people” – there are more mundane duties as well. “You have to change diapers, work on little sleep and cook if the butler is away,” the insider continues. But don’t worry, there will be some glamorous moments too; our source says qualified candidates get to help J. Lo dress for red carpet events and photo shoots. The salary for this gig? $55,000 to $65,000.

Sadly, that’s pretty typical. Although it was nice of the “source” not to mention that job duties include “being screamed at constantly.”

interns urged to cut class

Oh, fashion interns. Not only does wanting to break into such a competitive industry usually mean you have to accept several unpaid or low-paid gigs in order to build up your resume, one fashion website is now pushing their free help even further. Fashionista.com, who (like many other fashion and beauty companies) relies on unpaid interns to help them cover the bases during Fashion Week, has asked their staff to go above and beyond the normal call of duty. Check out this section from a recent intern job ad they posted:

“We’ll need you at least two days a week until Fashion Week starts February 9th, during which we’ll need you more. How much more depends on your schedule, but you should be eager to skip class in favor of MILK. Our intern hours are officially 11 to 4, but again, once the week starts there’s no on/off.”

You heard that right, everybody: your unpaid job is WAY more important than your education! School is for losers! I’ll see you guys at fashion week.

good news for your job search

Looking for a new job in 2010? Well, here’s some good news – one of the ten best professions for job prospects next year is Executive Assistant. In other words – you!

Here’s what Careerbuilder (via Robert Half International) has to say:

Companies with leaner teams are looking for employees to take on a wider range of duties. Executive assistants who can wear many hats, support multiple managers and adapt readily to change are in particular demand. These individuals are likely to see starting salaries of $35,000 to $47,000.

In case you didn’t catch that, it’s a fancy description for “Combo Job.” But hey, at least it’s a job. If you’re thinking of switching careers, this list seems to indicate that you should probably check out IT or financial services.

someone is actually hiring

Justin Timberlake isn’t content just to do music – he and Trace Ayala have a clothing line called William Rast, he’s a popular guest host on Saturday Night Live, and now he’s launching his own line of tequila, 901 Silver. But when a guy has so man projects going on, how will he find time to run his own company? Timberlake has put out an ad seeking an “Executive Vice President of Big Ideas” for 901. Perks include a $25,000 signing bonus, a VIP trip to Las Vegas, and “the opportunity to possibly get coffee for other 901 employees” (read the fine print, people).

To enter, you need to make a video pitching a “Big Idea.” Check out the entry form for more info.

in the future, we will all do this

I’ve seen enough people who get jobs thank to stunts – starting websites, entering karaoke contests – that I’m starting to think writing resumes and actually going to job interviews is about to go the way of the dodo bird or Lehman Brothers.

A 23-year-old recent college graduate in London, Alex Kearns, was frustrated by his job search not going anywhere. Kearns, who majored in the super-practical fields of French and Italian (hey, I minored in French and am not hating, but I was willing to acknowledge my field of study wasn’t necessarily the one most sought-after in the job market), decided to take matters into his own hands. He printed a huge copy of his CV and held it up in London’s busy Trafalgar Square. The gambit caught the attention of the International Business Development Group, who offered him an interview and eventually a job:

He has now begun working as a sales executive at their London offices, selling consultancy services to companies in the UK and abroad.

His stunt also brought offers of an interview with another company and work experience in an advertising firm.

Look, I say good for Alex. The thing is, though, the more people who pull stunts like this and get jobs from them, the more likely we are to see hordes of people trying to do the same thing. Personally, if Union Square starts filling up with recent college graduates standing around holding up copies of their resumes, it’s going to get really old really quickly. How long can gambits like this work before people become immune to them? I still think it’s worth perfecting the art of resume-writing.

bob weinstein needs an assistant

Bob Weinstein, the movie producer and one of the two bosses (the other’s his brother Harvey, of course) in Rachel Pine’s book The Twins of Tribeca, needs an assistant! The economy – or the string of Weinstein Company’s movie flops – has made Bob downsize from multiple assistants to just one poor, beleaguered, overworked soul. Gawker has the job description:

The ideal candidate should have excellent communication skills, excel under high pressure, and be motivated, dedicated and extremely loyal. This person will be representing the executive and the company, and must be professional at all times. This is a 24/7 job; you will be the only assistant to this executive. You must be available on nights and weekends, and expect to spend long hours in the office.

The list of duties includes:

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