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Tag Archive for 'Holidays'

goldman sachs bans all holiday parties

Goldman Sachs, one of the only financial giants to remain standing, has decided to take the conservative approach and cancel their annual holiday party. The move is hardly shocking, as many companies in a variety of industries have also cancelled their parties, either because of financial reasons or because it would look tacky to have one when the economy is doing so badly. However, Goldman is going one step further in its party-banning, telling employees that they can’t throw their own parties for coworkers at their homes:

The firm has canceled its annual holiday party, just as it did last year. It also instructed the smaller business units that they should not organize their own smaller parties, which had been a long tradition at the firm. The parties are banned even if no firm money goes to pay for them.

But Goldman employees were surprised to hear that even parties within private homes fall under the ban. The firm apparently believes that it would be inappropriate for its employees to be seen partying while the economy is still so shaky and unemployment is so high.

Man, companies trying to keep you from having fun even when you’re not on their time? Next they’ll try to tell you what the dress code should be when you’re lying in bed on a Saturday morning watching TV. Or they’ll issue appropriate protocol for how to behave on your next date.

belated halloween horror story

The office manager at my company loves to do corny decorations for holidays. This year she did a whole Halloween thing with orange streamers and cutouts of ghosts and stuff. In the break room, there were a whole bunch of paper tombstones on the wall. My friend and I got a sharpie and wrote names of people who got laid off this year on all the tombstones. When my boss saw it, he was REALLY MAD. We all had to go to this big meeting where he and the office manager yelled at us and told us how us writing names of laidoff people on the tombstones was bad for morale. Funny, I thought actually laying people off was the part that was bad for morale.

- Submitted by Aaron, New York City

labor day link roundup

It’s Labor Day. For most of us, Labor Day means a long weekend off from work, the end of summer, and a moratorium on wearing white shoes. However, as assistants we should remember the real meaning of Labor Day - a holiday to celebrate the worker. Here are some links you should check out if you want to learn more:

  • Wikipedia, of course - learn about how Labor Day differs from International Workers’ Day and more
  • If you’re unemployed, why should you care about this holiday? The Associated Press weighs in.
  • Are you a history buff? Check out this great series of Labor Day-related videos from the History Channel.
  • It’s not truly a worker’s holiday unless you get free stuff. Chick-fil-a is giving away free sandwiches to people who show up today in sports-themed gear (click here for details).
  • Should you really want a challenge, take this Labor Day quiz - and don’t cheat by scrolling down.

“happy” equal pay day

April 28th is Equal Pay Day. I’m not sure exactly whether the day is supposed to be about “celebrating” the fact that men and women are allegedly being paid equally or about bemoaning the fact that men still make more than women for doing the same jobs. I’m going with the latter, obviously. Marie Claire has some sobering stats that we should keep in mind today:

  • For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 78 cents. That number has climbed 1 cent since 2006.
  • Fresh-out-of-college women make $15,498 less per year than the boys; over a 35-year career, they’ll make $210,000 less.
  • A 25-year-old female PR specialist makes the same as her male colleagues; 20 years later, she’ll make about $35,000 less.
  • She-EOs make $303,000 less than their male counterparts.
  • Male primary-care physicians make 22 percent more than lady docs.
  • Male IT workers make 11.9 percent more than geekettes.
  • According to the American Association of University Women, at the current rate, we’ll reach pay equity in 2040.

Woo, what a fun holiday! Time for some Jager bombs in the break room!

horror story: not a shoe-in

I’ll never forget this woman at my company’s Christmas party a couple years ago. OMG she was a hoot. She got drunk at the bar before the party even started and then made her rounds of the room, insulted the man who was going to be her boss and just went on and on. That was the last party we had where the company provided entertainment, a band, dancing, etc. and a free hotel room for the night. After that all they did was take us out for dinner.

the last we saw of her was her husband tossing her over his shoulder to carry her out and that Monday we came to work and her shoe was sitting on her desk waiting for her. We didn’t know why the shoe was there but learned afterwards that the woman she reported to directly had placed it there and when the girl showed up for work she fired her. She didn’t even get to work there for one solid day.

–Submitted by Rina, New York City

st. offensive’s day

This horror story is very appropriate for St. Patrick’s Day. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some green beer to drink in order to wash the bad taste of this story out of my mouth.

One day I was driving my boss to yoga and he some how brought up the fact that my last name is Irish (along with being Irish, I’m English. Czech, French, German, etc.) and he starts sort of awkwardly with “Well, so, you know. I am Jewish and you know how like Jewish people like to feed people and eat a lot, do you and your family, like you know, being Irish, do they drink a lot?”
What the Fuck.
Submitted by Laura, Philadelphia

president’s day wisdom

This President’s Day, let’s reflect on a couple of quotes from Lincoln and Washington that specifically or generally relate to work:

Lincoln:

“He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.”

“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.”

“Whatever you are, be a good one.”

Continue reading ‘president’s day wisdom’

poll: are you a secret santa?

tips for boss’ day gifts

Did you forget about Boss’ Day, and now you’re the only one in cubeland who didn’t buy a suck-up present for your micromanaging boss? No worries. Here’s a handy list of last-minute gifts you can get:

  • A gift certificate to a place you like with your name on it–that way, your boss can regift on Administrative Professionals’ Day!
  • Some Quaaludes or Vicodin, anything to make him less fucking tense all the time
  • A day off. Which, of course, means an unofficial holiday for everyone else in the office.
  • All that personal mail of his that you’ve been hiding under your desk for weeks out of spite
  • Promises that you will not rat him out for charging his wife’s spa retreat weekend on the company card
  • A big punch in the nose

Got your own ideas? Post ‘em in the comments.

national boss’ day eve poll

So, tomorrow, October 16, is National Boss’ Day. I know you can barely contain your excitement. In advance of the ‘holiday,’ I have a question for you: