There are badass interns. And then there’s Daniel Hernandez, Jr.
The 20 year old University of Arizona student was less than a week into his job as an intern for Rep. Gabrielle Giffords when she and many other people were shot outside of a Tuscon grocery store last weekend. Although the shooter was spraying into the crowd and Hernandez could have run for cover, instead he ran up to his boss, who had been shot in the head, and held pressure down on her wound to help curb the bleeding. He stayed with her until an ambulance arrived. His quick thinking and medical knowledge are being credited with helping Giffords survive. He even has his own Facebook fan page now.
Hernandez, however, claims he’s no hero. He told his school newspaper: “I don’t think I’m a hero. I think doing something one off is not something heroic. I think the heroes are people like Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, Ron Barber, Dave Zimmerman, and Pam Simon. They are people who have dedicated their lives to public service so for them it wasn’t just a one time thing, it’s spending their entire lives trying to help others.”
Normally, I don’t advise burning bridges when you quit, especially if you’re staying in the same industry or work in a fairly small community. That said, I laughed like hell at this collection of some of the most outrageous stories of quitting ever. Here’s a highlight:
Telling your boss to fuck off is satisfying, but not nearly as satisfying as fucking well. One acquaintance of mine decided to combine the two and fucked his boss’ (in-house) mistress in the boss’ office from the end of (a very late) happy hour until the start of the morning shift. Nobody likes other people boning in one’s personal space, and there’s just something satisfying about being able to say, “I fucked him, now fuck you, too!” on your way out the door.
That sounds like something out of Swimming with Sharks, n’est-ce pas?
If you’re going to quit, you should quit with a BANG. That’s what one assistant named Jenny did. Jenny was transferring a call one day when she overheard her boss calling her a HOPA (that would be Hot Piece Of Ass, and that would also be sexual harassment). So she quit in hilariously spectacular fashion. You can view the whole photo essay at The Chive.
Update: So the whole thing was a scam. At least it was an amusing scam!
Hey, we’ve all called in fake-sick on the occasional Friday in order to get a three day weekend. But one guy turned that into an art form. Howard Dean (no, not the former presidential candidate), a New York State prison employee, took off every single Friday for seventeen years. Seventeen years! This man is either a total prick who was robbing taxpayers of their hard-earned money or – probably more likely – my new hero.
The yearlong investigation discovered that Dean, 64, of upstate Locke, routinely submitted — and supervisors at the Department of Correctional Services regularly approved — deceitful time cards with no clue to the weekly furloughs.
Dean “freely admitted” to playing hooky from the state’s Food Production Center in Rome, the report found.
“This certainly gives new meaning to the phrase ‘casual Fridays,’ ” DiNapoli told reporters yesterday.
“He not only dressed down, he didn’t even bother to show up. Quite simply, this is outrageous.”
Look, I’m all for people doing their jobs and shit, but if he managed to get away with it for as long as Zac Efron has been alive, then he alone can’t be blamed. I’m sorry, but at that point there are a whole lot of fingers to point. All hail Howard Dean!
I’ve always wondered what athletes do during their off-seasons. Do they play sports every day just to stay in shape? Do they hang out with their families? Take trips? Buy expensive things? Well, one athlete does something very unusual during his time away from the sport – Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Ross Ohlendorf spends his down time working as an intern for the US Department of Agriculture. And he doesn’t even get paid. Man, I feel like a total slacker right now compared to this guy, it’s not even funny.
Ohlendorf will be spending 20 hours a week this winter studying cattle diseases and their migration patterns. He works in a small room that he shares with another intern. “This one’s been, I’d say, the most exciting off-season I’ve had,” he said in an ABC News interview.
I get a lot of reader email, and I love getting to hear from the people who read STA. Sometimes that mail makes me laugh at a boss’ total stupidity or get mad about a backstabbing coworker, but only once has an STA reader email made me cry.
Yesterday, I wrote a post praising Elle magazine advice columist E. Jean for offering an internship to a homeless but incredibly smart and qualified woman who wrote in asking for career advice. It turns out that the letter-writer didn’t know her letter had been published or that she’d been offered an internship – until she read about it here on Save the Assistants.
“B.” is a regular STA reader/commenter and has submitted some great post ideas in the past. Her blog, The Girls’ Guide to Homelessness, is an engaging and eye-opening read. I’m so proud of her and her new gig (she starts her internship on September 1) and hope she’s able to take advantage of this great new opportunity. Mazel tov, “B.”, and your new boss sounds like one awesome woman. I’m honored to have had even the smallest part in helping this happen.
It started as just another letter in the pile that Elle magazine advice columnist E. Jean gets every week. Like a lot of us lately, the letter-writer was coping with unemployment and asked E. Jean for help:
I’m currently homeless and living in a Wal-Mart parking lot. I’m educated, I have never done drugs, and I am not mentally ill. I have a strong employment history and am a career executive assistant. The instability sucks, but I’m rocking it as best as I can.
The rest of the letter recounted the story of the homeless young woman applying for a job and bombing the interview. Here’s what E. Jean had to say, after two paragraphs of useful and inspirational job search advice:
I’m all aboard Team “Befriend Your Coworkers,” but I mean that you should go to lunch together or maybe plan a happy hour. One Atlanta employee, though, went far above and beyond – she gave her coworker a kidney.
Donor Ceri McCarron and recipient Betty Egwenike worked together as archivists at the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library & Museum for more than two decades, but while they were chatty and friendly at work, neither knew much – if anything – about the other’s personal life. Egwenike had been diagnosed with a kidney disease several years ago and had been forced to go on dialysis and wait for a transplant. McCarron discovered by coincidence that she and her coworker shared the same blood type.
The disease produces cysts in the kidneys and eventually causes the organs to deteriorate and stop functioning. By the time she was diagnosed, Egwenike said 55 percent of her kidney function was gone. “I was surprised she was actually going to do it. I was skeptical because you can change your mind at any time. I kind of stayed in the background because I didn’t want to be harassing her. I didn’t ask, it was out of her heart.”
“The people I chose to run my new store in London are nice. I cannot work with b*****s, I can’t, I can’t. Maybe I am too sensitive, I get blocked. There are some people who don’t give a damn. With me, I find that if there is no energy flowing or no connection, I can’t think. Talent is amazing — I love it, appreciate it. I respect talent a lot. But if you ask me, ‘Talent and b***h, or less talent and good?’ I’ll go with less talent.”
In remarkable news, a miraculous event was reported today in Los Angeles. A Hollywood talent agent – widely considered one of the lowest of all life forms – did something benevolent.
As we talked about last week, agency behemoths William Morris and Endeavor are merging, and that means a lot of people will be let go as the companies consolidate. This includes plenty of assistants. Variety is investigating and interviewed some of the laid-off employees about the major workplace tension:
There’s been a groundswell of anger internally at WMA about how the merger process has been handled, and that anger reached the boiling point for some Monday as they learned the layoffs were coming down. The mood in the halls ranged from angry to melancholy to determined to move on to greener pastures. One longtime exec cited “finding my assistant a job” as her top short-term priority.
A boss who cares about the well-being of her assistant? And who counts the assistant’s employment status as a priority? Dude, I think I just saw the Virgin of Guadalupe in my Dorito.
Hey, we’ve all called in fake-sick on the occasional Friday in order to get a three day weekend. But one guy turned that into an art form. Howard Dean (no, not the former presidential candidate), a New York State prison employee, 
I’m all aboard Team “Befriend Your Coworkers,” but I mean that you should go to lunch together or maybe plan a happy hour. One Atlanta employee, though, went far above and beyond – 
