Retired tennis star Andre Agassi has a new autobiography coming out, and it sounds like this book is going to be very interesting. In the book, Agassi admits to having used meth while playing competitively. He then failed a drug test, but managed not to be thrown out of tennis because he claimed that he hadn’t taken the meth on purpose… it was his assistant’s fault.
According to an excerpt of the autobiography “Open” published Wednesday in The Times of London, the eight-time Grand Slam champion writes that he sent a letter to the ATP tour to explain the positive test, saying he accidentally drank from a soda spiked with meth by his assistant “Slim.”
“Then I come to the central lie of the letter,” Agassi writes. “I say that recently I drank accidentally from one of Slim’s spiked sodas, unwittingly ingesting his drugs. I ask for understanding and leniency and hastily sign it: Sincerely.
I am guessing from the quotes that Slim wasn’t the assistant’s real name. Although… it would be even more awesome if Agassi didn’t even have an assistant and the whole story was made up. Regardless, maybe it’s time for “Slim” to write a tell-all? I’d read it.
As more news comes out about the circumstances surrounding Michael Jackson’s death, I couldn’t help but fixate on one particular angle. Reports are now coming out that Jackson had prescriptions under a variety of real and fake names - including that of his personal assistant. I’m not sure whether the assistant knew his or her name was being used by Jackson, but regardless, let me make one thing clear:
Do not let your boss use your name to get drugs.
It’s bad enough when he sends you to pick up condoms from the store, but identity theft is a real thing and can result in people being arrested. Remember on Big Love when Nicki used Margene’s name to get a job at the DA’s office? Both of them could have ended up in jail. If you find out your boss is using your name to get controlled substances, by all means threaten to call the cops. You’re well within your rights. Plus, when your boss finds out who ratted him out it’ll be useful to have armed protection.
Did you lose your health insurance coverage along with your job? Well, have no fear - pharmaceutical giant Pfizer wants you to keep taking their meds. They’re offering their 70 most prescribed meds for free if you have been laid off. To qualify, you have to have been laid off since January 1 and have been on the medicine for at least three months before that. You can get the free meds for up to a year. That way they can help out customers and make sure people remain loyal to the brand. Those drugs include:
- Viagra
- Lyrica (fibromyalgia)
- Lipitor (cholesterol)
- Celebrex (pain)
For more info or to figure out if you’re eligible, check out Pfizer’s website.
Shockingly, no one sent me the press release from the US Department of Labor that declared this week (October 20-26) Drug Free Work Week. And how exactly does one make sure the week is drug-free? Does that mean employers should do random urine tests just to check up on everyone? Are they counting alcohol as a drug–and if so, is your boss willing to sacrifice his three martini lunch in order to stand in solidarity? Are they considering caffeine a drug, and if so, are they going to fire every single employee at the company for violating that particular rule? Let’s see what the government suggests for observing this sacred and vital weeklong ‘holiday’ (all text is theirs, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried):
- Allow employees time to volunteer in community drug prevention efforts - Drug-Free Work Week offers the chance to show commitment to substance abuse prevention both inside and outside the workplace. One way to promote an organization’s dedication is to grant employees time off to volunteer to assist with efforts to prevent substance abuse in the larger community or organize a team of volunteers to support a local prevention initiative. Such efforts often are coordinated by schools, faith-based organizations and community anti-drug coalitions.
- Create a Drug-Free Workplace Display - Drug-Free Work Week is a great time to freshen up bulletin boards in break areas or other locations that employees frequent by posting positive messages about the importance of being drug-free to their safety and that of their coworkers. Start by putting up one of the Working Partners posters which are available in both English and Spanish. Additional display materials could include a copy of the company’s drug-free workplace policy, a list of local and national helplines for employees who may have a problem with alcohol or drugs, and EAP contact information, if applicable.
Continue reading ‘have you been drug-tested lately?’
I worked for “The Cliche.” Only instead of the white residue in the bathroom, the drug use happened in the office, with only a temporary wall to separate the space. He would have me tell everyone he wasn’t there, but would pick up the phone and interupt my excuses. He would tell me to go get him a $1.00 cup of tea and hand me a wad of hundred-dollar bills, yet when it came down to payday, he would be broke.
The best had to be the “Me Time.” I would be knee deep in paperwork and he would lock his door (which consisted of 2 bolt locks and a pad lock on both sides) and decide that he needed to be alone. He would lock everyone out of the office- or not show up (we figured out his drug-use schedule and knew on the 4th day- which was usually payday- he would crash). The icing on the cake was when he would send me to Brooklyn, literally 2 blocks from my house, from Hoboken, N.J to go get money out of the safe- usually an hour before it was time for me to go home for the evening.
I’m a writer by trade, and I’ve had such unbelievable bosses that I feel like a corporate spy. I can’t believe people really live like this and think it’s o.k.
–Submitted by Sarahbellzz, New York City