Man, has it been one heck of a 24 hours in assistant-related drama for Jamie Kennedy.
This morning, Perez Hilton reported that Kennedy was cheating on his current girlfriend, actress Jennifer Love Hewitt, with his ex-girlfriend, former Britney Spears assistant Shannon Funk. That info in itself is pretty juicy and worthy of an STA post. However, it gets so much better.
Later today, another post appeared on Perez. This one outed the “source” on the original story as Jamie’s assistant, Miguel, who has been fired:
Miguel went nuts and started making shit up. This is a David Spade situation, where the assistant gets jealous of the star’s lifestyle and snaps. Miguel snapped and started texting Love late at night and just being a freak. Then he tried to take Jamie down by making shit up. Jamie’s lucky he didn’t get tazered in his sleep by this guy!
Alli Sims obviously isn’t very busy pursuing her fake music career, because she has managed to find tons of time to give interviews about her “cousin,” Britney Spears. Alli used to be Britney’s assistant and since she isn’t interesting on her own, continues doing interviews about Britney years after working for her in a desperate bid to stay “relevant.” Here’s some ridiculousness from an interview with Extra:
Sims insists that the media made the “Womanizer” singer’s meltdown seem worse than it was. “It seemed a lot crazier than it really was because it made simple things just like going to Starbucks seem so out of hand. It was insane because of the paparrazi, but it really wasn’t that bad when you were sitting there going through it personally. I just thought it was interesting how people expected us to stay home and not go anywhere… It’s not her fault she has that many people following her around.”
Although Alli hasn’t spoken to Brit in awhile, she is hoping to reconnect with the pop mom. “We didn’t have a falling out at all or anything. I just kind of stepped back. She had a lot of stuff going on that she needed to focus on, so I took that time to put all my energy into my music…I definitely think I’ll talk to her soon. It’s not like we’re never going to talk again.” She adds, “I love her to death and I miss her and I hope she’s happy.”
Here’s a clip from back when Alli’s job was to wait outside of clubs and get Britney a cab so she wouldn’t have to deal with the paparazzi. It’s full of famewhorey goodness.
Alli Sims, Britney Spears’ fake cousin and former personal assistant, is doing everything she can to extend her four minutes of pseudo-fame. Let’s recap, shall we?
August ‘07: Gets subpoenaed to testify for Kevin Federline in Britney’s custody case.
September ‘08: Organizes “trunk show” in Alabama that basically consists of her selling Britney’s stuff and swag that Alli accumulated during her assistant days.
January ‘09: Gets sued over failed reality show venture and is accused of lying about her singing ability and her relationship with Britney.
And now, Alli has a single called “Driving Blind.” Is this a reference to that time Britney got caught driving with her son in her lap instead of in a car seat? I feel like it’s a miracle this single isn’t called “I KNOW BRITNEY SPEARS. SERIOUSLY. WE’RE COUSINS! PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEE!” It’s the little things we have to be grateful for, you know?
Breaking news in the celebrity assistant world! Felicia “Fee” Culotta (pictured at left with Brit-Brit in happier times), a friend of Lynne Spears’ who spent the early part of Britney’s career working as the teen pop star’s personal assistant, has gone back to work for her former boss. Over the past few years, Felicia (who was featured in Brit’s shortlived reality show Chaotic, where she earned the moniker “Felicia Ann Culotta, she likes to fuck alotta”) has been working as the PA to the Jonas Brothers, and even wrote an open letter to Britney encouraging her to get away from the negative patterns in her life (K-Fed, head-shaving, umbrella-wielding, etc). It seemed like Felicia would never go back to working for Britney. However, PerezHilton.com reports that Felicia is indeed going back to Britney’s employ. Perhaps this means Brit’s getting her life back together and returning to her roots? Or does it mean she’s regressing? Or maybe Felicia just got tired of a job that put her around screaming fangirls for 20 hours a day? She gave this quote to Perez:
Britney has always held a special place in my heart, and over the course of the last year I have seen her work harder than she ever has in her entire life. Sadly, I am really going to miss the Jonas boys, but I felt I had to be a part of this exciting time in Britney’s career. I love Britney and missed her dearly.
Alli Sims just cannot keep herself out of trouble. The former Britney Spears assistant, who has lately resorted to selling Britney’s stuff in order to keep her name in the press, is now being sued. The website Starzlife got its hands on a recent letter sent to Sims by Usonian Entertainment, an L.A.-based production company. Sims, who has unsuccessfully tried to launch both a singing career and a reality show, breached her agreement with Usonian. They allege, among other things:
1. You lied to us about money causing out-of–pocket expenses. We were unaware that you had made a deal with Claus Hjelmbak and Sam Lufti to pay your rent for the year of 2008. You should not have asked us to pay your rent and personal expenses since May 2008 for 6 months.
2. You lied to us about your relationship with Britney Spears. We were in the understanding that we would help you make a record album and music videos about your relationship with Britney Spears. You grossly misrepresented yourself as a singer and as a friend of Britney Spears.
3. You brough questionable friends to business trips and meetings designed to finance your album. It jeopardized our relationships with our investors and caused us loss of money.
Everybody - well, except STA - has a Twitter. And now it seems that celebrities are moving away from using their MySpace for press to using their Twitter to ‘communicate’ with their fans. And one of the celebrities with Twitter is Ms. Britney “Comeback” Spears herself. InformationWeek notes that, unlike most celebrities, Britney is very upfront about the fact that she isn’t the one writing the vast majority of her posts (”tweets”). According to them,
She has a Social Media Director named Lauren Kozak who pilots the Twitter account, as well as Britney’s Web site, her Facebook and MySpace accounts, her Circus VIP Ning Community, and her “very successful” YouTube campaign, according to Jesse Stay, writing on the blog louisgray.com. Kozak writes Britney’s tweets, with input from the star herself, Britney’s personal assistant, and the rest of Britney’s entourage.
Alli Sims should be a total “whatever happened to that girl” by now, but, sadly, Britney Spears’ former assistant and fake cousin somehow manages to keep her name in the press. Despite attempting to use the Spears name to launch a music career or reality show for herself and selling Britney’s former personal items, Alli still gets called upon to give quotes to publications about her former boss and has the audacity to act like she is somehow a victim in all of this.
Sims was one of the people dismissed by Spears’ father Jamie when he took control of the singer’s personal and professional affairs in February (08), and she’s still sore about being cast aside.
Speaking for the first time since she was replaced, Sims tells American magazine In Touch she was used as “a scapegoat” as Spears’ family took control of the troubled star’s life, following a double mental health scare.
She adds, “I have been accused of so many things I didn’t do. My reputation has been dragged through the mud.”
Um, really, Alli? You do such a great job of that yourself.
Britney Spears is looking happier and healthier on the cover of this week’s Rolling Stone, and she opens up to the magazine about the way her life is now. Her dad, Jamie Spears, is Britney’s court-appointed conservator, and he’s been keeping Britney under control–giving her a curfew, making her stay away from loser ex-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib, and getting her to give up drinking and partying. Britney recounted this story of a date she went on recently:
Recently, Spears was accompanied [on a date] by her assistant, Brett, and [manager Larry] Rudolph’s colleague, Adam Leber. “Right when we got there, we just knew it was just bad,” Spears says. “He looked like an older version of Harry Potter, but skinnier. … So I had to get dessert first. And the other date I had, the guy was really, really tall and a lot older. … We’re trying to ask him questions, like, ‘OK, you’re into martial arts, so what kind of martial arts are you into?’ And he was like, ‘Oh, all kinds.’ … But you know how silly we are, so we were just cracking up.”
Wait a sec…does this mean Britney has rehired her former assistant Brett? The one who was reportedly working for her back in the fall of 2007 (and whose name was spelled Bret)? Or is this someone totally different? Thank goodness she’s not gallivanting around town with Alli Sims again.
I don’t know much about Britney Spears‘ dad, Jamie, who has been her legal ‘consvervator’ (sort of like a guardian) since she went nutty for awhile. That said, he seems to be doing a pretty good job. Britney managed to get herself together enough to make a record, she hasn’t been photographed in public without underwear, and her hair is growing back. And it seems he’s banned certain people from Britney’s life for being bad influences, including her “cousin”/ex-assistant Alli Sims. In her short career as Britney’s PA, Alli did little besides get herself photographed and try to sell Britney out to the media, and after leaving the job announced she, too, wanted to be a pop star.
Now, word comes that Britney’s dad has banned her from spending time with Alli. Frankly, I think this is a pretty good decision. By the way, how do we know about Alli’s banning? Because she announced it to Page Six, of course. “I have no idea when I’ll see her again. I miss her every day. When [Britney's] dad gained control, he put some rules down . . . it’s just best for her to not communicate with a lot of people. My main concern is her being OK,” Alli told the paper. Wow, do you think maybe one of his reasons for banning you is because you were selling her swag recently? Just an idea.
I know this is a website for assistants, but every now and then I like to give some unsolicited advice to interns–after all, interns grow up to be assistants, so why not learn important lessons now? Pay attention to the story of “Adam,” an intern for Nashville radio station The River. Adam was responsible for leaking an advance copy of Britney Spears’ new single, “Womanizer,” to the internets. When the RIAA and other music-industry types flipped out, eventually somebody narrowed the search down to Adam, who was summarily fired from The River.
This brings up a couple of questions. First, how is Britney able to sit still long enough to record music, and why isn’t Amy Winehouse able to learn from her example? Second, can you even fire someone you don’t pay? And third, does being fired from an internship doom you to the career doldrums forever? I guess it helps that Adam didn’t have a last name–but I’d suggest he avoid listing this internship on his resume.
Man, has it been one heck of a 24 hours in assistant-related drama for Jamie Kennedy.
Alli Sims, Britney Spears’ fake cousin and former personal assistant, is doing everything she can to extend her four minutes of pseudo-fame. Let’s recap, shall we?
Breaking news in the celebrity assistant world! Felicia “Fee” Culotta (pictured at left with Brit-Brit in happier times), a friend of Lynne Spears’ who spent the early part of Britney’s career working as the teen pop star’s personal assistant, 
Alli Sims just cannot keep herself out of trouble. The former Britney Spears assistant, who has lately resorted to 
Everybody - well, except STA - has a Twitter. And now it seems that celebrities are moving away from using their MySpace for press to using their Twitter to ‘communicate’ with their fans. And one of the celebrities with Twitter is Ms. Britney “Comeback” Spears herself. 
Alli Sims should be a total “whatever happened to that girl” by now, but, sadly, Britney Spears’ former assistant and fake cousin somehow manages to keep her name in the press. Despite attempting to use the Spears name to 
Britney Spears is looking happier and healthier on the cover of this week’s Rolling Stone, and 
I don’t know much about