Columnist Meredith Pro Tem is clearly jealous of all the attention being piled on the assistants who have been linked to David Letterman. In her most recent article, she reminisces about when she had a chance to be ‘the other woman’ for a celebrity. (However, her boss didn’t even so much as hit on her, that cad.) Anyhow, here’s the story about her past assistant experience:
My best shot at being the young Other Woman came and went in the mid 1990s. For a short time I did some side work as a personal assistant to a cast member on “Saturday Night Live.” As part of the gig, it was necessary for me to be involved in almost all aspects of his life, including spending time at his apartment with his wife and baby. I’d be kicking myself now for having missed out on the chance to be a (retired) star in my own right if I hadn’t since learned that he’s gay.
Ladies and gentlemen, start your guesses!
Here’s a delicious assistant blind item, via Crazy Days and Nights:
This A list comic movie actor is looking for a new assistant. The pay is six figures which is extremely high for an assistant. The reason it is so high? Well first of all there is travel 70% of the time and you have to deal with one of the most obnoxious, irritating, pains in the asses in the business. Our actor has tried to offer less money in the past but they all quit after a few days. As it is he can barely hang on to them for long.
Six figures is not unheard of for a celebrity assistant, but it’s much more likely to be the amount of money somebody earns if they’ve worked for a given celebrity for a couple of years and have proven indispensable, not for newbies. I have heard some stories about assistants making six figures who were called assistants but were actually drug dealers or full-time ‘escorts.’ That said, this A-list comic actor (any guesses?) has got to be one hell of a pain in the ass. I wonder how many of the assistants make it long enough to collect half a dozen of those inflated paychecks?
From BlindGossip.com:
Which celebrity’s Personal Assistant just walked out on him? The PA was overwhelmed with guilt about having to lie constantly to the star’s wife about where the boss was and what he was doing… and who he was doing it with. No gay gossip here. Just a horndog with a lust for beautiful women. Given that this actor isn’t the most handsome guy in the world, you’d think that he’d be a little more loyal to his sweet wife.
Kudos to the assistant for putting their values above their paycheck - especially since the actor in question sounds like a seriously shitty boss.
From Page Six:
WHICH hip-hop fashion team is taking more credit than it deserves? While most designers acknowledge their assistants do much of the work, this up-and-coming pair accept kudos but never mention the staff in the back who actually make it happen.
Just to be kind of a jerk… is it true that most designers acknowledge their assistants do much of the work? I don’t know much about the fashion industry, but I feel like nobody acknowledges when their assistant does most of the work.
That said, the people in this blind item suck.
From the New York Daily News:
Which pop star won’t even throw away her own used hankies? When she gets a case of the sniffles in the recording studio, the high-pitched princess forces an assistant to do it.
I totally think it’s Mariah. If she has an assistant to hold her straw for her, she can definitely get an assistant to throw out her used tissues.
What fashion house just fired an assistant in their New York office because she was busted having sex with her boyfriend in the building’s basement?
From the New York Post:
WHICH talk-show host has a flatulence problem so bad, he’s said to have an assistant follow him around with an odor-vaporizing spray can?
Please be Rush Limbaugh. Please.
What beauty company recently laid off every single assistant in their New York office? They seem to think their company can justly function without anyone to handle admin tasks. It doesn’t smell good to me!
From the New York Daily News:
Which socialite fashionista had to have her boyfriend’s assistant bring her a change of clothes at the Bryant Park tents this week after soiling her skivvies?
Ewwwwwwww.
Is it Lydia Hearst? Paris Hilton? Someone else who has slept with Cisco Adler?
I recently came across a blog not-so-cleverly titled The Personal Assistant on filmindustrybloggers.com. This assistant is currently working for an actress she calls “Chloe,” and the last few entries have been devoted to the saga of Chloe’s 500 party invites, which need to be done in calligraphy and by (the assistant’s, of course) hand. Here’s a snippet:
After the initial twenty invites, I did twenty more… and then I swore my hand was going to fall off. I drove to a Kinko’s (don’t you love how they’re twenty-four hours?!) and showed them the invites… and the precise way Chloe wanted the calligraphy done. And then they the nice man behind the counter said the magic words: “We can do these.” I couldn’t remember the last time I was this happy… until he added, “By Saturday.” Um… that was the end of the week. Not overnight like Chloe wanted. Fuck. I asked him if I could get a stamp made, instead. I spent the next hour saying, “Not quite,” and “Close, but…” – none seemed quite calligraphy enough. Several fonts later, I landed on one that looked pretty damn good. Manny, the Kinko’s guy, was understaffed, so he said he could get it done by 4 a.m. I decided to go home and sleep ‘til five (I know, splurging!)…
I woke up at 6 (oops) and raced to Kinko’s to get the stamper. It was perfect… or nearly perfect… Until, in my quite sleepy state, I started stamping crookedly and accidentally smudging the ink as my hand would rest on said invite… Believe it or not, stamping is exhausting… it’s an art in and of itself.
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