When last season of American Idol added fourth judge Kara DioGuardi, many speculated that Kara’s addition was a potential test to see if she could replace Paula Abdul in case Paula decided to leave the show (because a woman can only replace another woman, obviously). Now, Paula’s embroiled in difficult contract negotiations that leave her status on the show uncertain. Her manager has complained to the press that Paula is being lowballed – she makes far less than fellow judge Simon Cowell and host Ryan Seacrest, and she’s holding out for more money.
As an avid Idol fan, I could go two ways with this. One is that Ryan and Simon both provide more value to the show than she does – Simon’s also a producer and helped create the show, and while it seems like hosting a reality show is easy, compare Ryan with a lesser TV host and you’ll see how talented he is at moving the show along and smoothing transitions. Ryan’s the only host, but Paula is one of three – or four – judges. Besides, her commentary is often rambling or irrelevant – do we really care that you like someone’s personality or outfit when they can’t freaking sing? Part of me thinks she should be grateful to Idol for resurrecting her career and making her a pop culture icon. After all, would she have had her reality show, jewelry line, endorsement deals, or other side gigs if she hadn’t made her Idol-fueled comeback? I doubt it.
On the other hand, there’s the Randy Jackson factor.
As a lover of all things trashy reality TV, I think my head may have just exploded from sheer awesomeness. It turns out that Jamie, one of the less-skanky contestants on Rock of Love Bus (please note that “less skanky” is very relative on that show) has a connection to another reality figure – she works as the personal assistant to Constantine Maroulis, the majorly skeevy singer from the fourth season of American Idol. Her ‘official’ title is Assistant/Merch Girl.
For those of you fortunate not to know who Constantine (photo at right) is, he was a finalist on season four of Idol (aka the one where Carrie Underwood won but Bo Bice was totally my favorite contestant). Paula Abdul cried when he got voted off and she, like many other people, found him sexy for some reason I have yet to understand. He is now in some new Broadway musical made up of hair metal songs, or something.
Maybe now that Jamie has made it to the final four on Rock of Love, she’ll be too big of a star to work as an assistant/merch girl anymore. Or – gasp – maybe she’ll get her own assistant!
Lilit here. It’s Dolly Parton Week on American Idol, and considering that Dolly is my hero I was ready to hate every single one of those contestants for going near her songs. But I was pleasantly surprised by some of the performances this week, and on last night’s results show the nine remaining Idols did a rendition of “Nine to Five,” which we consider STA’s unofficial theme song.
I have to admit I saw some humor in this song being performed by a bunch of people who may never have had soulless office jobs. I mean, David Archuleta is 17 years old. He does not know what it’s like to have an office job. And Kristy Lee Cook’s continued existence is also somewhat irritating, but the show had the good sense not to assign her a solo.
The video is here. Decide what you think of this version of STA’s anthem.
We love to hear stories about former assistants who done good–after all, we have a category called “Saved” for a reason. And here’s a perfect story: STA Official Girlcrush Kelly Clarkson worked as an assistant twice. Although she was listed as a “cocktail waitress” during her stint on American Idol, Kelly worked as both a zoo assistant and a pharmacy assistant before hitting it big. I have a friend who worked as a zoo assistant, and while I’ll spare you the details of her job I’ll just say that I never realized how much shit can be generated by a single animal. I guess that job prepared Kelly for dealing with Simon Cowell on a regular basis.
Anyway, we’ll close with this quote from Kelly: “If I can wake up everyday before I die and know that I don’t have to serve anyone food or drinks, I will be happy!”
Apparently, we’re not the only ones who like workplace distractions. Just in time for the new season of American Idol, staffers on the megahit show are amusing themselves by placing bets on how many assistants judge Paula Abdul will go through before the show ends.
From the article:
Although live episodes of “American Idol” are still several weeks away, many people close to judge Paula Abdul are gearing up to begin keeping track of how many assistants she will tear through during the course of the season.
“Last season it was an absolute revolving door of assistants,” said one person who spends a great deal of time with Abdul during the course of “Idol.” “I’m definitely going to try to keep count this year. Some people would last weeks, others just days. She can’t be kept happy, you never know what she’ll lash out about next.”
Someone really needs to bring back Hey Paula! If the writer’s strike goes on much longer, the entire world will have a reality show. Don’t worry, Paula, we’re forever your girls.
America’s most loved and hated show, American Idol premiered its seventh season last night with a series of the best and worst auditions from Philadelphia. The show loves to give airtime to wackos of all colors who show up hoping for their fifteen seconds of fame. One of last night’s most memorable ‘characters’ was a woman named Alexis Cohen, whose voice the judges deemed more appropriate for a Jefferson Airplane cover band than Idol (frankly, considering some of the shit they say about other rejects, she got off pretty easy). Alexis went off on a long, angry rant against the judges and ended up flipping the double bird to the camera.
However, our favorite reality TV site, Reality Blurred casts doubt on whether Alexis’ meltdown was real. Site manager Andy Dehnart notices that there’s a production assistant named Alexis Cohen on So You Think You Can Dance, which is produced by the same company that produces Idol. The names could just be a coincidence, but if there’s anything a good Idol fan likes, it’s a conspiracy theory.
Our awesome friend Jeff over at 52 Projects sent over the best YouTube video we’ve seen in awhile (even better than the Korean inmates dancing to “Thriller”).
Enjoy this clip of Paula Abdul having a meltdown about her assistant. We really can’t summarize this adequately.
The thread on Television Without Pity devoted to Paula Abdul is subtitled “Better Living Through Pharmaceuticals.” It’s appropriate, considering my most frequent reaction to watching her on American Idol is “dude, whatever she’s on, I really need some.” Besides Idol, Paula has other projects: a movie about the Bratz dolls (no, seriously) and an upcoming reality show, for two. However, according to this blog post, Paula torpedoed a recent meeting about a cosmetics endorsement by answering her cell phone in the middle.
I like to think it’s so obvious that we don’t need to say it here, but don’t answer your cell phone in the middle of a meeting. I mean, the fact that the damn thing even has a ringer on while you’re in a conference room means trouble, because as anyone who has ever owned a freaking cell phone knows, the law of karma means people only call you at the worst possible times. If this rule has somehow escaped you, I’d like to offer up a few others:
Don’t answer your cell phone during a job interview
If you have an important call you’re expecting, put the phone on vibrate
If the phone call in question is, say, your mom calling to say your cousin just went into labor, you’re allowed to answer it- after you let the other people in the room know why you’re taking the call, and then you should
Answer the phone while out in the hallway
The kicker to this whole article? Apparently, Paula has gone through seven personal assistants this year. Seven? What is she trying to do, out-Naomi Naomi?
This whole thing has made me very tense. Clearly, I do need some of whatever Paula is on.
–Lilit
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When last season of American Idol added fourth judge Kara DioGuardi, many speculated that Kara’s addition was a potential test to see if she could replace Paula Abdul in case Paula decided to leave the show (because a woman can only replace another woman, obviously). Now, Paula’s embroiled in difficult contract negotiations that leave her status on the show uncertain. Her manager has complained to the press that Paula is being lowballed – she makes far less than fellow judge Simon Cowell and host Ryan Seacrest, and she’s holding out for more money.
As a lover of all things trashy reality TV, I think my head may have just exploded from sheer awesomeness. It turns out that Jamie, one of the less-skanky contestants on Rock of Love Bus (please note that “less skanky” is very relative on that show) has a connection to another reality figure – she works as the 
