Alli Sims obviously isn’t very busy pursuing her fake music career, because she has managed to find tons of time to give interviews about her “cousin,” Britney Spears. Alli used to be Britney’s assistant and since she isn’t interesting on her own, continues doing interviews about Britney years after working for her in a desperate bid to stay “relevant.” Here’s some ridiculousness from an interview with Extra:
Sims insists that the media made the “Womanizer” singer’s meltdown seem worse than it was. “It seemed a lot crazier than it really was because it made simple things just like going to Starbucks seem so out of hand. It was insane because of the paparrazi, but it really wasn’t that bad when you were sitting there going through it personally. I just thought it was interesting how people expected us to stay home and not go anywhere… It’s not her fault she has that many people following her around.”
Although Alli hasn’t spoken to Brit in awhile, she is hoping to reconnect with the pop mom. “We didn’t have a falling out at all or anything. I just kind of stepped back. She had a lot of stuff going on that she needed to focus on, so I took that time to put all my energy into my music…I definitely think I’ll talk to her soon. It’s not like we’re never going to talk again.” She adds, “I love her to death and I miss her and I hope she’s happy.”
Here’s a clip from back when Alli’s job was to wait outside of clubs and get Britney a cab so she wouldn’t have to deal with the paparazzi. It’s full of famewhorey goodness.
Alli Sims, Britney Spears’ fake cousin and former personal assistant, is doing everything she can to extend her four minutes of pseudo-fame. Let’s recap, shall we?
August ‘07: Gets subpoenaed to testify for Kevin Federline in Britney’s custody case.
September ‘08: Organizes “trunk show” in Alabama that basically consists of her selling Britney’s stuff and swag that Alli accumulated during her assistant days.
January ‘09: Gets sued over failed reality show venture and is accused of lying about her singing ability and her relationship with Britney.
And now, Alli has a single called “Driving Blind.” Is this a reference to that time Britney got caught driving with her son in her lap instead of in a car seat? I feel like it’s a miracle this single isn’t called “I KNOW BRITNEY SPEARS. SERIOUSLY. WE’RE COUSINS! PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEE!” It’s the little things we have to be grateful for, you know?
Alli Sims just cannot keep herself out of trouble. The former Britney Spears assistant, who has lately resorted to selling Britney’s stuff in order to keep her name in the press, is now being sued. The website Starzlife got its hands on a recent letter sent to Sims by Usonian Entertainment, an L.A.-based production company. Sims, who has unsuccessfully tried to launch both a singing career and a reality show, breached her agreement with Usonian. They allege, among other things:
1. You lied to us about money causing out-of–pocket expenses. We were unaware that you had made a deal with Claus Hjelmbak and Sam Lufti to pay your rent for the year of 2008. You should not have asked us to pay your rent and personal expenses since May 2008 for 6 months.
2. You lied to us about your relationship with Britney Spears. We were in the understanding that we would help you make a record album and music videos about your relationship with Britney Spears. You grossly misrepresented yourself as a singer and as a friend of Britney Spears.
3. You brough questionable friends to business trips and meetings designed to finance your album. It jeopardized our relationships with our investors and caused us loss of money.
Alli Sims should be a total “whatever happened to that girl” by now, but, sadly, Britney Spears’ former assistant and fake cousin somehow manages to keep her name in the press. Despite attempting to use the Spears name to launch a music career or reality show for herself and selling Britney’s former personal items, Alli still gets called upon to give quotes to publications about her former boss and has the audacity to act like she is somehow a victim in all of this.
Sims was one of the people dismissed by Spears’ father Jamie when he took control of the singer’s personal and professional affairs in February (08), and she’s still sore about being cast aside.
Speaking for the first time since she was replaced, Sims tells American magazine In Touch she was used as “a scapegoat” as Spears’ family took control of the troubled star’s life, following a double mental health scare.
She adds, “I have been accused of so many things I didn’t do. My reputation has been dragged through the mud.”
Um, really, Alli? You do such a great job of that yourself.
I don’t know much about Britney Spears‘ dad, Jamie, who has been her legal ‘consvervator’ (sort of like a guardian) since she went nutty for awhile. That said, he seems to be doing a pretty good job. Britney managed to get herself together enough to make a record, she hasn’t been photographed in public without underwear, and her hair is growing back. And it seems he’s banned certain people from Britney’s life for being bad influences, including her “cousin”/ex-assistant Alli Sims. In her short career as Britney’s PA, Alli did little besides get herself photographed and try to sell Britney out to the media, and after leaving the job announced she, too, wanted to be a pop star.
Now, word comes that Britney’s dad has banned her from spending time with Alli. Frankly, I think this is a pretty good decision. By the way, how do we know about Alli’s banning? Because she announced it to Page Six, of course. “I have no idea when I’ll see her again. I miss her every day. When [Britney's] dad gained control, he put some rules down . . . it’s just best for her to not communicate with a lot of people. My main concern is her being OK,” Alli told the paper. Wow, do you think maybe one of his reasons for banning you is because you were selling her swag recently? Just an idea.
It must be hard for Cousin Alli. [Note: I love calling her Cousin Alli, even though she's not actually Britney's cousin, but the name stuck. It reminds me of Cousin Fred in the Berenstein Bears books.] She was in the “spotlight” as Britney’s personal assistant, then quit and tried to start up a singing career, to which the world responded with one big “Meh.” Now, no longer working for Britney or with any of her career plans taking off, she’s apparently reduced to selling Britney’s swag. According to Life & Style,Alli organized a trunk show in Birmingham, Alabama, to sell off stuff she acquired during her tenure as Britney’s assistant:
“Alli literally got thousands of dollars worth of swag during that year she was at Britney’s side,” the insider adds. ” She hasn’t been working, so she needs the money more than she needs the stuff.”
However, Alli’s plan didn’t rake in the big bucks. “The first sale wasn’t all she’d hoped for. People trickled in and out for a few hours — something like 20 people the whole afternoon. They made some money, but nothing to write home about,” the insider says.
Cheer up, Alli. Not everyone is destined to be the next CaCee Cobb. Have you considered getting an actual job? You have experience handling crazy people, which probably looks good on a resume.
These days, there are so many famewhores in the world it’s hard to keep them all straight. I mean, there’s everyone who has ever appeared on the Real World/Road Rules Challenge, for starters. And now there’s former Britney Spears assistant (and, depending on your source, also her cousin) Alli Sims. Sims, who has been trying to make it as a singer, found that her musical career went nowhere fast. But when a famewhore encounters a closed door, they sometimes find a window. And that window is…a reality show!
[Sims is the one on the left, if for some reason you weren't sure.]
Sims is apparently pitching a reality show billed as ‘the female version of Entourage.’ It has no storyline other than following her and her ‘friends’ around. Yawn. Call us if it starts involving bungee-jumping challenges and Coral Smith yelling things like “I don’t wrestle, I fuckin’ beat bitches up.”
First cousin Alli Sims worked for Britney and quit to start her own ’singing’ career. Then Shannon Funk got photographed joining Brit in her underwear to take a dip in the Pacific before selling her story to OK! magazine.
Both of them seem to want to join the Paris Hilton School of Being Famous For Nothing, so it seems logical the two of them would get together. TMZ spied Alli and Shannon hanging out together in Las Vegas for VMA week. Check the article out here.
Earlier this week, we talked about how Britney Spears’ cousin/ex-assistant Alli Sims has been subpoenaed to testify about Brit’s behavior in K.Fed’s custody suit. Well, it looks like he’s getting as many witnesses he can get. In addition to a former bodyguard, K.Fed’s lawyer has subpoenaed ex-Brit assistant Shannon Funk, who only worked for the newly-bald pop star for about three weeks. Shannon was a little bit harder to track down… because she was in New York, selling her story to OK! magazine. In case you forgot, OK! is the one that touted exclusive pictures of Brit’s meltdown while doing a photo shoot for them, only to not show anything interesting.
Who knew being an assistant could have such a rich payoff? All it costs is three weeks of your life than you can never get back.
It’s not unusual for celebrities to hire on personal friends to be their assistants. That way they have a built-in person to hang out with. Jessica Simpson did it on Newlyweds when she hired longtime friend CaCee Cobb to be her assistant, even though CaCee drove Nick (and everyone watching at home) insane.
Looks like Britney Spears has followed suit. After she dumped longtime assistant (and Britney and Kevin: Chaotic “costar”) Felicia Culotta, she’s hired her more age appropriate cousin Alli.
Hi, Alli? Nice to meet you. First, we want to thank you for visiting Brit in rehab. That was really nice. But if we could suggest one thing? Pick the girl out some better clothes. After a close examination of your outfit in this photo, maybe you should just hire a stylist. For both of you. It’ll be fun. Get a personal shopper!
And if we could suggest two things? Email us. Please.
Alli Sims, Britney Spears’ fake cousin and former personal assistant, is doing everything she can to extend her four minutes of pseudo-fame. Let’s recap, shall we?
Alli Sims just cannot keep herself out of trouble. The former Britney Spears assistant, who has lately resorted to 
Alli Sims should be a total “whatever happened to that girl” by now, but, sadly, Britney Spears’ former assistant and fake cousin somehow manages to keep her name in the press. Despite attempting to use the Spears name to 
I don’t know much about 
It must be hard for 