Remember when Hugh Grant got busted soliciting a prostitute and then had to do an “apology tour,” doing TV and newspaper interviews where he simultaneously apologized for his actions and promoted his new movie? Well, now Christian Bale is doing the same thing. He’s doing press for Terminator: Salvation while also apologizing for/justifying the notorious rant he went on against a crew member. The rant was caught on tape and listened to all over the country, even turning up in techno remixes and a Family Guy episode.
One aspect of Bale’s apology tour? Talking about how down-to-earth he is. And he’s doing that by discussing how he doesn’t have an assistant:
“I’ve managed to avoid what people imagine are the horrors of constant attention. I do exactly the same as I’ve always done. I don’t have an assistant. I don’t drive a flashy car. I do everything myself. I go to the supermarket myself, the hardware store,” he says. “It’s something I would greatly miss because I would start to feel like a prisoner. Just because I’m a friggin’ actor who can hit his marks and say his lines, big (expletive) whoop. Who cares?”
What Bale isn’t mentioning is that while he may not have an assistant now, he has certainly had them in the past. Perhaps he was burned by the way that ex-PA Harrison Cheung has made a mini-career out of talking smack about Bale in the press. Or perhaps being married to Sibi, a former celebrity assistant, has given him some perspective on what PAs have to go through? I’m very curious to know what caused the change of heart.
Alli Sims, Britney Spears’ fake cousin and former personal assistant, is doing everything she can to extend her four minutes of pseudo-fame. Let’s recap, shall we?
- August ‘07: Gets subpoenaed to testify for Kevin Federline in Britney’s custody case.
- September ‘08: Organizes “trunk show” in Alabama that basically consists of her selling Britney’s stuff and swag that Alli accumulated during her assistant days.
- October ‘08: Is banned from communicating or spending time with Britney.
- January ‘09: Gets sued over failed reality show venture and is accused of lying about her singing ability and her relationship with Britney.
And now, Alli has a single called “Driving Blind.” Is this a reference to that time Britney got caught driving with her son in her lap instead of in a car seat? I feel like it’s a miracle this single isn’t called “I KNOW BRITNEY SPEARS. SERIOUSLY. WE’RE COUSINS! PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEE!” It’s the little things we have to be grateful for, you know?
When I graduated from high school, the school gave out a special award to this girl Brenda who had not missed a single day of school since the first grade. I mean, not one. Even if she didn’t skip class in high school or take an extra day off for a family vacation, did she never get sick? If she has bionic genes or something, I’d certainly like to know. Or maybe she was the one who showed up at school sick all the time and was responsible for infecting all of us? I don’t know.
Anyway, what reminded me of Brenda was a news item I read today about Jay Leno. Leno called in sick and missed yesterday’s taping of his show – which is remarkable only the fact that he has never once missed a show in seventeen years. That is Miley Cyrus’ entire freaking life. I guess it could be a testimony to Jay’s excellent health or a weird thing in his contract, but I suspect that part of it is that he likes his job so much that he doesn’t want to miss it. Can you imagine that? I would love to someday have a job I enjoy so much that I actively avoid calling in sick or going on vacation.It’s like the holy grail.
If Jay is reading this, he should feel free to check out my tips for calling in sick when you’re not sick. I won’t tell on you, dude, you’ve earned it.
Alec Baldwin, whom I’m probably required to love forever for his portrayal of head honcho Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock, has not had a serious longterm relationship since the end of his infamous marriage to Kim Basinger. That said, he’s rarely without a beautiful woman on his arm, and this time the woman is a pretty darn surprising one. Last week, Baldwin arrived at the premiere of his new movie Lymelife with Johanna Cox. If that name rings a bell, Joanna’s claim to fame is winning the Elle magazine reality show Stylista. She apparently works as a junior editor at the magazine, which was her prize from the show. She’s 29, and he’s 51. I don’t know if it was just a date or if it’s the beginning of something major, but my brain might have just exploded from the amount of assistant/boss stuff going on in this post.
The only thing shittier than getting laid off would have to be getting laid off in public. So, of course, now you have a chance to do exactly that.
A new reality show called Someone’s Gotta Go is currently in production. The show (which will air, obviously, on Fox) “enters real businesses across the country and gives employees the power to decide which one of them will be terminated.” Here’s more on the show from Variety:
Each episode will revolve around a different small business — usually one with 15-20 employees — that has been forced to make staff reductions because of the sour economy.
The company’s books will be opened up to the employees, who will learn what everyone makes and what’s in their human resources files. Employees will also get a chance to say, face to face, what they really think of one another.
Ultimately, the employees will vote on who should be terminated. That person will likely receive a small severance, but that’s it.
Talk about a great opportunity for a layoff narrative, huh? And who the hell are they going to get to host this thing?
If you were recently laid off, one of your biggest concerns is probably figuring out what to do about health insurance. Well, Walgreen’s has just announced a plan to provide some free services to their customers who no longer have health insurance. Their in-store Take Care clinics (check online to see if there’s a clinic in your area, as not every city has one) will offer free clinics for allergies, respiratory problems, skin conditions, and more.
Free services will be offered only from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday through Friday. Walgreens said it will not offer free checkups, vaccinations or other injections because it is focusing on providing services patients might otherwise get at an urgent-care center or even an emergency room.
Patients must present proof they are unemployed, including a federal or state unemployment determination letter and an unemployment check stub. They will have to sign a form at the clinic saying they have lost their jobs and health benefits. If they find a new job or get new health insurance, they will no longer be eligible for free care.
Spouses and children are also eligible for free services if they don’t have insurance of their own.
Points to Walgreen’s for recognizing a need in their community and trying to address it. While the program is currently just an “experiment,” let’s hope that they decide to keep it going for awhile. There’s no clinic in New York yet, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed. You can check out the store directory here.
Normally, a story about movie mogul/dude with four assistants Harvey Weinstein would not be that interesting to me. Sure, it’s kind of cool that he bought the rights to this screenplay about John Lennon as a teenager growing up in Liverpool even though I’m still scarred from seeing that Lennon musical that lasted about a week on Broadway a couple years ago. But then, this happened:
But for Harvey Weinstein, the acquisition of the film – now shooting in and around Liverpool – was more personal. For the veteran film impresario, being involved with a Beatles project was the equivalent of coming full circle. Back in the late 1960s and early 1970s, when Weinstein was a skinny, long-haired, bell-bottomed teenager, he worked at Apple Records’ New York office. The highlight of his job involved running errands for McCartney and picking up Lennon at the airport. For a 16-year-old Beatles fan, full of Hollywood dreams, it was nirvana.
So, Harvey Weinstein used to be an assistant?! You’d think the guy would have a better sense of assistant karma or something if that were the case.
“I have to admit that I still pinch myself that having started out as Paul McCartney’s assistant, I’m now Paul McCartney’s friend.”
My mind = blown.
I was working at a nonprofit in DC for a summer before grad school, and there was this one coworker I totally hated. He was a spoiled rich boy and the son of a governor. Everyone in the office got signed to a minimum 2 year contract but spoiled rich boy (SRB) was starting law school later that year, so he got a special nine month contract, which was bullshit. But we all knew they were just using him for his insider DC connections anyway.
SRB’s lameness didn’t end with his special contract. He was constantly on the phone – wasting taxpayers’ time and money by not doing his job – with his Ivy law school, claiming he needed more financial aid and invoking his dad’s name to try and squeeze more money out. (To their credit, they didn’t budge.) To top it off, he quit at the six month mark so he was bored working and could spend the summer in Europe. Obviously, I hated him.
–Submitted by Natalie, Washington, DC
There are many awesome parts about this story in which a woman in Arkansas slipped tranquilizers into her boss’ cup of coffee. First, there is the fact that she put tranquilizers in her boss’ coffee. Then, there is the part where, when she got busted and was asked why she did it, she said, “he needed to chill out.” However, I think my absolute favorite thing about this story is that it was sent to me by my mom. I love my mom, but she usually just sends me cute pictures of cats. But it turns out she also has a good eye for potential Save the Assistants posts. Thanks, Mom! And remember kids, I’m not telling you to drug your boss.
Finally, some good news – all that doodling you’ve been doing in meetings is actually beneficial. The little swirls and flowers and stick figures of your boss with knives all over his body “thought to focus the mind and stop daydreaming, allowing people to persevere with dull tasks,” according to The Daily Mail.
A recent study asked 40 men and women to listen to a long, tedious phone message listing details for a party. When quizzed later on the contents of the message, people who had doodled during the phone call were more likely to remember the names of guests, locations, and other critical details.
If you’d like to print this out and casually slip it to your boss the next time she tries to look over your shoulder and see those “notes” you’re taking during the meeting, you have my blessing.
