Not only does Neil Gaiman’s assistant Lorraine seem to have a pretty fun job, Neil makes sure he’s popular with other peoples’ assistants too. Beth, who works as the assistant to Dresden Dolls singer Amanda Palmer, recently spent some time hanging out with Neil. She writes her account of the amusing day in her blog:
This morning, I had brunch with Kyle, my friend Chelsea, and esteemed author Neil Gaiman. This was rad.
Mid-way through brunch, we decided we needed a few things from the costume shop. I found the address on my Blackberry and we set off for a leisurely 25 minute walk.
45 minutes in Neil and Kyle helpfully mentioned that we’d gone in a circle.
Continue reading ‘assistant spends amusing day with neil gaiman’
Sure, your boss sucks. But has he choked his girlfriend in a parking lot in Vegas? Did she get pulled over and charged with a DUI? We’re enjoying this gallery of 2007’s worst boss behavior.
My (male) boss recently criticized the clothes I wear to work. I was really upset about it, because I don’t make enough to buy fancy clothes for work, and also because I think my clothing is totally appropriate. A few weeks later, Awesome Female Executive pulled me aside and said she had a whole pile of clothes she didn’t wear anymore, and we’re about the same size, so would I like to take any of the hand-me-downs? I said OK, and the “hand me downs” were all brand new or barely worn clothes, some from designer labels.
I’ll never be sure if she really gave me old clothes or if she bought new ones for me, but either way she didn’t make any mention of what my boss had said. She’s worked with him for a long time and knows how many rude, inappropriate, and sometimes sexist things he has said to women coworkers before. She also worked her way up from the bottom and I’m sure she knows what it’s like to have to live off an assistant’s salary. It was such a small thing to do, but it was so nice, and it really restored my faith in my company and in people in general. I hope someday when I’m a boss I’m like her. –Submitted by Linda, North Carolina
If you read this site, it probably seems like everyone’s boss is a douchebag. To be fair, most of them are. But every once in a while we come across a story like this one.
In Morganton, NC (Lilit’s home state, which she is totally proud of), when admin assistant Lisa White needed a kidney transplant, she got one. From her boss.
Chris Jernigan, the director of Southmountain Children and Family Services in Nebo, said he had watched White, his friend and colleague of more than 11 years, struggle to come into work.
“I care very much about every employee and want to do everything I can to make it a better work place and to make their lives better,” Jernigan, of Morganton, said Wednesday on ABC’s “Good Morning America.” “This was just one more thing that I was able to do to help out a good friend and an employee.”
Our minds? Officially blown. Giving someone a kidney is a pretty righteous thing to do, and giving it to the person who makes your copies? That totally qualifies you as awesome.
On the minus side, though, that assistant is never going to be able to play hooky from work without feeling guilty.
[Thanks to both Michael and Justin for sending us this link within minutes of each other.]
Today on Save the Assistants we’re happy to present you with a real hero: Douglas G. Williams of Minnesota. Williams was working, washing cars, when the carwash manager asked him to pick up some litter around the area.
Williams said he had gone to work that day even though he had the flu. He said the other car washer was on vacation and there was a sale, which meant he had extra cars to wash, when he got word he was supposed to pick up cigarette butts in the parking lot.
Williams said that he was busy and that the sales manager could go “[expletive] himself,” according to court documents. The lot manager passed along the comment and the sales manager fired Williams for insubordination.
This story has a happy ending. Even though Williams was fired, the Minnesota Court of Appeals found that he was entitled to get unemployment “because his conduct was a single incident that did not have a significant adverse impact on the employer.”
If Dick Cheney couldn’t get fired for saying “go fuck yourself,” then why should this guy? Hear that, assistants of America? It is totally allowed to tell your boss to fuck off, and you can also expect benefits afterward! There’s legal precedent. We salute you, Douglas G. Williams. The next beer is on us.
You can read the complete article here.
I’m currently an executive assistant at a pretty small company. I work for the CEO of the company, and he’s actually the only person who has an assistant. The day I started, one of the VPs (who was totally made fun of as a kid, I can tell from his attitude now that he’s a “big shot”) immediately started treating me like I was his assistant. He left piles of papers on my desk with little notes on them asking me to fax them or file them. He even sent emails to people telling them I was in charge of his schedule, even though I didn’t even have access to it! I tried to be as polite as I could when I rejected doing work for him, i.e. “Actually, I’m really busy with stuff for [insert real boss' name here] today, sorry.” But VP didn’t get the hint. Finally, one day I snapped. I took a pile of papers off my desk and marched into VP’s office and said, “I know I’m an executive assistant, but I’m not your executive assistant!”
Obviously, VP was pissed, so he went to my boss and told him what happened. Turns out my boss is pretty awesome, because he totally gave VP a lecture about how I don’t work for him. It was great, and VP hasn’t been able to look me in the eye ever since. And he still doesn’t have an assistant.–Cate, New York City
My younger brother was recently killed in a car accident. Of course, I was devastated. Being the work-a-holic that I am, I was a tad worried about how my new boss would react to the news. After all, I had only been with this company for a few weeks.
When I phoned my boss with the news, he was as kind as any boss could be. He comforted me, told me to take as much time as I needed and said emphatically, “Don’t worry about work. I will take care of everything.”
It was like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I was there for my family when they needed me most. I was able to take care of myself. When I returned to work, I had more respect and admiration for my boss and more than ever, I wanted to work hard and do my very best.
I know that there are people out there in STA land that may have had similar experiences. How did your boss react to a death in the family or the death of someone close to you? Were they understanding? Did they try to guilt you into coming back sooner than you were ready? I’m curious to hear the good, the bad and the damn batshit insane.- Submitted by Maria
As Lilit reported last Friday, my employer cruelly forced me to go to Vegas and party. There was bonding, of course, but there were also cannon balls into jacuzzi tubs, togas, and somebody ripped their pants during an impromptu performance of “Like a Prayer”. Also, there was a Dita Von Teese sighting! (Along with a $1600 bar tab. Ahem.)
Anyway, my job is awesome. But I’m not just saying that because they took me to Vegas - they actually treat us really well. While there may have been various sinnin’ in Vegas, overall everybody knows their shit when it comes to work. It’s a good place to be.
This has prompted me to ask you, fair readers, about your stories of success and redemption from hellholes and evil bosses. If you’ve had a shiteous job and/or boss (don’t they usually go hand-in-hand anyway?) but you’ve got a rad job now, tell us all about it. Send your stories to contact@savetheassistants.com.
When I was working my nightmarish assistant job, I used to think things like “at least I’m not living on the street,” although there were times when living on the street would have been way better than dealing with my boss’ bullshit. Author Liza Featherstone compiles this list of ten jobs that are definitely, definitely worse than yours, including Farm Laborer and Prison Inmate/Forced Labor. Here’s a snippet from the description of “Poultry Processor”:
It would be tough to decide which was the worst task in a poultry plant — would you rather be crapped on and scratched by live birds; slaughter and behead them; or pull their guts out? The work is repetitive, with relentless pressure for profit-maximizing efficiency. Bathroom breaks are discouraged and often punished. Because of the brutal pace and casual safety training (portrayed in a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wall Street Journal investigation of the industry) one in four poultry workers are injured or made ill by their jobs.
Wow. Something to think about the next time you curse the universe for making you put together spreadsheets. Perspective is a bitch.
You know the jobs that you keep reading about in the Horror Stories section here? I had one of those jobs. I had it for a whole year. When I finally quit, it was like the world had turned back on for me. Birds chirped, my friends and family rejoiced – I think I even saw a rainbow. Sigh. It was wonderful.
And then something even more spectacular happened: I got an amazing job. And let me tell you, ladies and gents, it has made all the difference in the world for me. Why? Because it’s a place that values me as much as I value myself. I actually negotiated my salary. And they gave me a signing bonus. And a 401K plan. And don’t even get me started on how rad the annual bonus is.
So I’m here to tell you that you may have to endure the less-savory aspects of working life, but perhaps even more valuable than the work experience you get is the job karma you collect. I guess I collected a whole mess of it, because my new job is like Shangri-la. Good jobs are out there, people – there’s hope! - Submitted by Randi, San Francisco