Goldman Sachs, one of the only financial giants to remain standing, has decided to take the conservative approach and cancel their annual holiday party. The move is hardly shocking, as many companies in a variety of industries have also cancelled their parties, either because of financial reasons or because it would look tacky to have one when the economy is doing so badly. However, Goldman is going one step further in its party-banning, telling employees that they can’t throw their own parties for coworkers at their homes:
The firm has canceled its annual holiday party, just as it did last year. It also instructed the smaller business units that they should not organize their own smaller parties, which had been a long tradition at the firm. The parties are banned even if no firm money goes to pay for them.
But Goldman employees were surprised to hear that even parties within private homes fall under the ban. The firm apparently believes that it would be inappropriate for its employees to be seen partying while the economy is still so shaky and unemployment is so high.
Man, companies trying to keep you from having fun even when you’re not on their time? Next they’ll try to tell you what the dress code should be when you’re lying in bed on a Saturday morning watching TV. Or they’ll issue appropriate protocol for how to behave on your next date.
The office manager at my company loves to do corny decorations for holidays. This year she did a whole Halloween thing with orange streamers and cutouts of ghosts and stuff. In the break room, there were a whole bunch of paper tombstones on the wall. My friend and I got a sharpie and wrote names of people who got laid off this year on all the tombstones. When my boss saw it, he was REALLY MAD. We all had to go to this big meeting where he and the office manager yelled at us and told us how us writing names of laidoff people on the tombstones was bad for morale. Funny, I thought actually laying people off was the part that was bad for morale.
- Submitted by Aaron, New York City
It’s Labor Day. For most of us, Labor Day means a long weekend off from work, the end of summer, and a moratorium on wearing white shoes. However, as assistants we should remember the real meaning of Labor Day - a holiday to celebrate the worker. Here are some links you should check out if you want to learn more:
- Wikipedia, of course - learn about how Labor Day differs from International Workers’ Day and more
- If you’re unemployed, why should you care about this holiday? The Associated Press weighs in.
- Are you a history buff? Check out this great series of Labor Day-related videos from the History Channel.
- It’s not truly a worker’s holiday unless you get free stuff. Chick-fil-a is giving away free sandwiches to people who show up today in sports-themed gear (click here for details).
- Should you really want a challenge, take this Labor Day quiz - and don’t cheat by scrolling down.
April 28th is Equal Pay Day. I’m not sure exactly whether the day is supposed to be about “celebrating” the fact that men and women are allegedly being paid equally or about bemoaning the fact that men still make more than women for doing the same jobs. I’m going with the latter, obviously. Marie Claire has some sobering stats that we should keep in mind today:
- For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 78 cents. That number has climbed 1 cent since 2006.
- Fresh-out-of-college women make $15,498 less per year than the boys; over a 35-year career, they’ll make $210,000 less.
- A 25-year-old female PR specialist makes the same as her male colleagues; 20 years later, she’ll make about $35,000 less.
- She-EOs make $303,000 less than their male counterparts.
- Male primary-care physicians make 22 percent more than lady docs.
- Male IT workers make 11.9 percent more than geekettes.
- According to the American Association of University Women, at the current rate, we’ll reach pay equity in 2040.
Woo, what a fun holiday! Time for some Jager bombs in the break room!
This horror story is very appropriate for St. Patrick’s Day. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some green beer to drink in order to wash the bad taste of this story out of my mouth.
One day I was driving my boss to yoga and he some how brought up the fact that my last name is Irish (along with being Irish, I’m English. Czech, French, German, etc.) and he starts sort of awkwardly with “Well, so, you know. I am Jewish and you know how like Jewish people like to feed people and eat a lot, do you and your family, like you know, being Irish, do they drink a lot?”
What the Fuck.
–Submitted by Laura, Philadelphia
This President’s Day, let’s reflect on a couple of quotes from Lincoln and Washington that specifically or generally relate to work:
Lincoln:
“He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.”
“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.”
“Whatever you are, be a good one.”
Continue reading ‘president’s day wisdom’
Many thanks to STA reader Jessica for sending me this link. Defamer got their hands on an email from a very confused assistant at DreamWorks who, when told she’d be covering for an assistant who was going to be out of the office for Rosh Hashanah, sent the following note to a colleague:
Hey Ryan,
I’m sorry, b/c I’m covering for Lindsey’s usual asst, could you tell me, who is Rosh Hashanah and why would he/she affect Kristi’s meeting with KN and MC?
Thanks! I really appreciate it!
Michelle
Poor, sweet, innocent Michelle. Hey, if I hadn’t been born to a Jewish parent it’s entirely possible I could have gone my whole life without knowing who or what Rosh Hashanah was. Except that I still had Seinfeld. And later, Google.
I’m so glad that many of my dumb emails were sent while working at a company that is neither huge nor powerful, and thus no one felt desired to leak them and mock me.
I love a good fake holiday, and today is no exception: it’s National Punctuation Day. It’s also my birthday, and since I’m a grammar nerd, I approve of today’s choice of fake holiday. So, today, think about all those errors your boss makes in her emails and pay some love to the oft-neglected semicolons and emdashes.
September 19 is one of my favorite holidays, Talk Like a Pirate Day. It’s one great way to make the day go faster–and to make your boss confused as all hell when you overemphasize all your letter “R”s. Celebrate the holiday with some highlights from Talk Like a Pirate Days of yorrrrrrre.
And the day wouldn’t be complete without a pirate joke, so here’s my favorite one.
Q: What do you call a black pirate?
Continue reading ‘happy talk like a pirate day!’
Labor Day is more than just an excuse for a long weekend or the last day you can wear white shoes. It’s a day that honors all workers in America–and, by the way, that includes you. Hopefully, you are far away from the office right now. But in case you’re not, here’s some reading you can do–and forward to your boss–about this very important date.