a blog for the beleaguered
MBike magazine, which I had never heard of before today but sounds awesome, has diagnosed modern man (and, I’d presume, woman) with several diseases: “Deskorheea,” “Chronic Computerosis,” and “Armchairitis.” You can probably figure out how you got each one of them.
[Via LikeCool]
I’m obsessed with Hoarders on A&E – every episode ends with me frantically scrubbing the floor in my bathroom, convinced that if I don’t I am going to die alone under a pile of decade-old magazines. Matt Paxton is the star of the show – a cleaner, organizer, and amateur therapist, he deals with many of the show’s most outrageous and unmanageable hoarders. In an interview with Bloomberg, Paxton says that not only does every family have a hoarder, every office does too. Think about it: do you know which employee always has a stash of pens? Who has a secret candy jar? These small collections might be evidence of a bigger hoard. I know I’m guilty of keeping extra stuff at my office – a sweater or change of clothes in case I need to go out after work and am not dressed properly, clear nail polish in case I get a run in my tights, and maybe whatever leftovers I’m going to warm up in the fridge today and eat for lunch. But does that make me a hoarder? I’m not sure, but I think this is an excellent time to break into the office Lysol stash.
It’s normal to get depressed at the office. Here are some ways to cope. – PBS
Why your boss is probably wrong about you; or; why performance reviews are stupid and need to be abolished. – New York Times
Are business cards going the way of the VHS player? – Fortune
When it comes to mental health, having no job is better than having one you hate. – Time
Temp jobs are the new job jobs. – Christian Science Monitor
When a Welsh cupcake shop ran out of sweets, a shopper attacked the store’s assistants. SAVE THE WELSH CUPCAKE ASSISTANTS. – Daily Mail
It’s a joke, but it’s painfully realistic: “Planet Earth PA Still Trying to Get Release Forms from Every Bird in the Serengeti.” – The Onion
Ambitious 20something New Yorkers are too busy working to get laid. – New York Observer
Jillian Michaels has left The Biggest Loser and moving to the next chapter in her life. She recently gave an interview to the New York Times magazine about her new book and becoming a mother. But the part that most interested me – of course – was about her assistant, who is overweight. Here’s an excerpt (parts in bold are the interviewer):
I would be reluctant to sit down and have dinner with you, because I imagine you would look at my spare tire and see unresolved issues.
I actually have quite a few people in my life that are heavy. One of my assistants is heavy. We don’t ever talk about it. It’s not my place.Is she going to learn from reading this article that she’s heavy?
She says it to me all the time. The one thing I don’t like her to do is eat McDonald’s, not because it makes her heavy, but because I know it will kill her, because it’s poison. We have a deal. She can buy whatever groceries she wants, but no high-fructose corn syrup, no trans fats, no artificial sweeteners, no MSG. Other than that, I’ll leave her alone.
Rocker Bryan Adams may be 51, but he’s going to be a first-time dad. Us Weekly reports that the singer-turned-photographer is expecting a child with his assistant, Alicia Grimaldi. The couple has not announced the baby’s sex or due date, but Adams wrote on his personal blog, “She (helped) me start my foundation years ago and it looks like she’ll be running the family now!”
When you’re an assistant, toiling away in the trenches of your company, it’s easy to forget that there’s a hierarchy within the assistant class. Despite the fact that most assistants are entry-level employees who pick up coffee and schedule meetings, some assistants are more equal than others. Meet the assisterati, a group of New York publishing industry assistants who have degrees from tony universities and organize occasional meetups with “an assistant’s salary worth of wine and cheese.” The New York Observer’s Kat Stoeffel profiles these assistants – complete with a quote from yours truly.
Zach Galifianakis is currently my favorite comedian (got Mel Gibson fired because hitting women is wrong; is from my home state of North Carolina), so Zach + SNL + Assistant sketch = Best Thing Ever.
The best way to apologize for sending too many emails is … to send out an email apologizing for the emails. – Consumerist
Need to hate someone? I’d suggest tossing some ire in the direction of these Wall Street types who know that even if they fuck up they’ll still get massive bonuses. – Business Insider
If you are Bill Maher’s assistant, one of your responsibilities will be taking back his girlfriend’s car after they break up. – Crazy Days and Nights
Though this list of 25 Guys to Avoid on Wall Street is aimed at people in the business world, it also doubles as a guide to who not to date. – CNBC
A man got fired for … wait for it … working too much. To be fair, that meant he was taking on side jobs while on the clock, but still. – News.com.au
Being smart is good. But being easy to get along with in the workplace is way more important. Here’s why. – Wall Street Journal
Meredith Koop has gotten promoted from Michelle Obama’s personal assistant to her personal shopper. Upgrade! – Washington Post
You should kick ass at your career because it makes you happy and brings in money. Oh, and because guys find “powerful women” hot. – Cosmopolitan
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