Monthly Archive for July, 2011

Fashion Designer’s New Job Announced … Via LinkedIn

Published on July 7, 2011 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments Tags: , , , .

When something big happens at a company, like a fashion house hiring a new head designer, they’ll announce the news in a press release. Or, if you’re Matthieu Blazy, you can just jump the gun by updating your LinkedIn profile. Although Blazy’s new job hadn’t been publicly announced yet, he has already changed his LinkedIn profile to indicate he’s the new head designer for Maison Martin Margiela. Felicitations, Matthieu! Now let’s hope you don’t get fired for letting the news slip.

New Career Options For Casey Anthony

Published on July 5, 2011 in Junk Drawer. 0 Comments Tags: .

Now that Florida “tot mom” Casey Anthony has inexplicably been found not guilty of killing her daughter Caylee, she is going to need something else to do with her time besides be on trial. I have some suggestions!

  • Visit OJ Simpson in jail
  • Play self in Lifetime movie
  • Launch personal style blog
  • Go to Disneyland (not Universal Studios, obvi)
  • Write tell all book
  • Take over Dr. Kevorkian’s practice
  • Start project to hunt down the real killer
  • Do sitdown interview with Barbara Walters and/or Diane Sawyer
  • Finally get around to finishing that PhD in Victorian Poetry
  • Become Farrah’s new BFF on Teen Mom
  • Find God and join a convent

John Galliano Became a Racist Because His Assistant Died

Published on July 4, 2011 in Assistants in the News. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

Former Christian Dior designer John Galliano was fired from his post earlier this year when video emerged of Galliano making anti-Semitic remarks in a Paris cafe. Now, Galliano is on trial in France (making such comments is illegal there). Among his rebuttals? He says that following the death of his personal assistant and confidant Steven Robinson in 2007, his life began to fall apart. Like many creative people, Galliano counted on having someone between him and the money people at Dior, and that person was Robinson. In his defense, Galliano says that he became depressed after Robinson’s death and that having to deal directly with business people started to stress him out, eventually driving him to drink.

Here’s the thing: when I was an assistant, my boss relied on me heavily. He didn’t know how to dial a telephone or turn on a computer without my help. But when I quit, he didn’t go on a bender or start hurling anti-Semitic comments at other people. He just hired another assistant. I understand that Galliano and his assistant were also close friends, and that dealing with a loss like that cannot be easy. But if Galliano was just such a special snowflake that any interaction with non-creatives made him stressed, he should have hired someone else to fulfill the assistant part of Robinson’s job. And anti-Semitism is not an appropriate way to deal with grief. Get some therapy. Take time off from your job to clear your head. Go on antidepressants. But making racist comments isn’t okay, even when you’re dealing with pain. And, just like a million other bosses, John Galliano is blaming everything on his assistant.

How to Be Black At Work

Published on July 3, 2011 in Manifestos. 0 Comments Tags: , , , .

Comedian Baratunde Thurston has a new book coming out entitled How to Be Black, which he describes as “personal essays documenting my own “coming of blackness,” satirical advice on how to be black in certain situations and interviews with people doing black “well,” and in unexpected ways.” One of the essays in the book is “How to Be the Black Employee,” and he has posted an excerpt on Facebook. It’s a great read, and I’m really looking forward to checking out the whole thing. Here’s a particularly powerful excerpt of the excerpt:

The truth is that you have two jobs.

The first is the explicit job, for which you were hired. This is the job you saw posted on the web or heard about through a friend. It’s the job title printed on your business card and in the company directory. It’s what you put on your LinkedIn profile. For the sake of argument, let’s say the job was Research Associate. When you heard about this position, you were excited. Why? Because you love research, and you’re good at it. You prepared yourself. You updated your resume. You boosted your past research experience and added personal details that connect you to the type of research this job requires. You read the company’s website thoroughly. You Googled the business. You may even have done your own research on particular employees, especially management. You are prepared to be an excellent Research Associate, and when you get the job, and sign the papers and show up for your first day, that’s a role you are excited to play.

The thing is, you were also hired for another job: your blackness. That’s not to say you were merely accepted due to some affirmative action quota. If that were the case, nothing more would be expected of you than simply being black and doing job number one above. That would make you a research associate who happens to be black. No, you have another job with specific responsibilities far beyond inhabiting your skin. The people who hired you likely weren’t even conscious of this extra job. It’s not as if they had one meeting about your research skills and another about your blackness talents. Nevertheless, they expect great things from you, even if subconsciously.  In job number two you will be expected to

a) Represent the black community

b) Defend the company against charges of racism or lack of diversity

c) Increase the coolness of the office environment by enthusiastically participating in company events

If you dig into this, you might conclude that you have two, three or even four jobs because your blackness duty combines the roles of politician, lawyer and entertainer. Now you’re Jamaican! For the sake of simplicity and sanity, however, we will keep these jobs consolidated under the umbrella of your second job.

The rest of the Facebook note is here.