Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich is being sued by his former personal assistant, Steve Wig, who claims the rocker promised him bonuses and overtime pay but never delivered. Wig worked for Ulrich for eight years and claims that he worked 80-hour weeks and was expected to be on call 24/7, which is pretty standard fare in the celebrity assistant world. The case will be heard in Marin County, California.
Maybe Ulrich is going to claim that the money he was going to use to pay his assistant was stolen by the same people downloading his music from Napster?
This month’s Cosmo has a great work horror story:
I really hated my last job. They treated me like crap, and I was so fed up that I actually searched for openings while at work. One day, I saw a posting that looked promising. It had an anonymous email address to send a resume to, and I didn’t think twice about applying. An hour later, I was fired on the spot. Turns out, I had applied to my current employer, and since it was anonymous, I had no clue. They asked me to leave the office immediately.
See, people, this is why I hate anonymous job postings. I always assume they’re traps.
What New York City socialite – who is more known for her maybe-ex husband than anything else – once rejected two town cars for “not smelling good” until she finally settled on the third one her assistant called?
As a career admin, I’ve had different types of gifts…the personal (gorgeous pearls from a boss’ trip to Hong Kong) and the impersonal (company logo swag). But one year, I received a gift that was both, and the result was pure, unadulterated insult.
The year was 2003. I had undergone weight loss surgery in the spring and within a month of returning to work, my executive boss (in a 20-person department of a VERY large financial firm that is still in existence) took me out to lunch. We had always had a good line of communication so he was aware of the restrictions, rules, etc. of my new lifestyle.
That Christmas, the boss decided to give everyone in the department the same gift, even his assistant (that would be me). I was a little surprised as we worked very closely together but shrugged it off as “not playing favorites.” The gift? A box of Godiva milk chocolate cigars. Not a dozen…THREE cigars. (Did I mention he was an executive vice president at a financial firm?)
Knowing my dietary restrictions, you would think he would have perhaps come up with a slightly different gift for me (even sugar-free chocolates would have been better). Nope. But before anyone thinks I’m ungrateful…the kicker was the card that came with my trio of “treats”:
“I know these aren’t a part of your new diet, but if I ever want one, I’ll know where to find them.”
It was the one time chocolate left a REALLY bad taste in my mouth.
- Submitted by Aliza, New York
What is it with assistants and sex toys lately? First Melissa Etheridge has her assistant deliver a box of dildos, and now a boss in Queens is being sued for giving an employee a vibrator for her birthday.
Astoria-based insurance broker Ibrahim Mansi tries to take care of his employees, and when one of his favorite subordinates, Silvia Olveira, celebrated her 33rd birthday in October 2009, he wanted give her the gift of unparalleled pleasure. But everything went terribly wrong as soon as Olveira opened up the present Mansi had put so much thought and effort into selecting. “When I opened it, I saw this thing,” Olveira tells the Post. “I was like, what is this?” That “this” was a vibrating dildo. And unbeknownst to Mansi, this sort of gift is frowned upon in today’s modern workplace.”I didn’t know what to do in that moment,” says Olveira. “I went outside and took the bag and threw it in the garbage. I called him and said, ‘Don’t do that anymore.’” Trying to salvage the awkward situation, Mansi explained that he usually gets a cake for his employees, but he thought Olveira had earned special treatment. Olveira recalls him saying, “Come on, girl. You don’t know how to enjoy your life.” And when Mansi asked what became of his gift, Olveira tactlessly told him, “I threw it in the garbage.” Couldn’t she have at least re-gifted it?
I have a hunch she’s going to win this lawsuit. Could her boss be any more of a cliche? He’s like a mustache-twirling Captain Evil cliche of a bad boss. It’s like a rejected script for The Office or something.
I work in book publishing, and have been assistant to the VP of Marketing for almost four years. I have never once in those four years received a “thank you” gift of any kind. No birthday cards, Christmas gifts, end of the year bonuses, nothing. On my first day at the job my boss made it very clear that “we don’t do that here.” So fine. I’m not greedy. Those are perks. I can live without.
My boss is a woman who met my parents and teared up telling them how great I am and how much she appreciates me. When I told her I was quitting for another job, she cried again, telling me she’ll miss me and how my intelligence and work ethic and personality made her job so much easier and more enjoyable. Today, on my last day as her assistant, I walked into my office to find a card on my desk. Inside the simple greeting card was a Pottery Barn gift card. A very scratched Pottery Barn gift card. My first thought was that she re-gifted this thing. I went into her office to say thank you, and she responded with this:
“There’s a caveat with that gift card. Whenever I’m out shopping at various stores, I pick up gift cards so I always have something on hand in case I forget someone’s birthday or a wedding or something. ‘Oh, it’s Mary’s birthday!’ and I have a box of gift cards to pull from. But it occurred to me that after awhile, maybe they expire? Or start having deductions taken because they’re old? Anyway, if it doesn’t work, just let me know.”
I might do a little dance on my way out tonight.
- Submitted by Sharon, New York
