Monthly Archive for January, 2011

Britney Spears Joins Assistant’s Wedding Party

Britney Spears’ assistant, Brett Miller, got married over the weekend in Miami. And Brit-Brit was the maid of honor. TMZ got this photo from the ceremony. Britney’s not the first celebrity boss to stand up for their PA – Kate Bosworth served as a bridesmaid when her former assistant, Jacqui Louez, got hitched a few years ago.

Monday Coffee: How the Playoffs Will Get You Fired

If you don’t want to get fired, you probably shouldn’t show up at work wearing gear of the team that just beat your boss’ favorite team. – Chicago Tribune

How do you choose between two job offers? I wouldn’t know, because that has never ever happened to me. – Forbes Woman

An insider’s look into what it’s like working on a film set, No Strings Attached edition. – Picktainment

The best and most secure jobs to have in 2011 include registered nurse, web developer, financial planner, and truck driver. – CNN

A survey reveals that almost 50 percent of respondents quit a job without having another one lined up, even though the economy was horrible. – Business Insider

Michael Jackson’s former personal assistant has decided to follow Shmuley Boteach’s “exploit my dead friend for a book deal” path to success. – AP

A nuanced look at why so many women with incredibly successful careers are single (note: this one doesn’t blame you for being ambitious). – Sarah Wilson

Vanity Intern Sean Avery Becomes a Model

Hockey player turned Vogue vanity intern Sean Avery can now add “model” to his resume. In this ad for Marc Jacobs “Protect the Skin You’re In” campaign, Avery poses with very little left to the imagination. This is one T-shirt I don’t think I’m going to buy.

Horror Story: Green With Stupid

I have a story regarding my VP, Chief Marketing Officer boss. When she first started, I was really excited that we were finally bringing on someone permanent for this role. My company originally brought me on telling me their intentions were to eventually put me into marketing, but we never had a permanent VP of Marketing for someone to have the power to transfer my position. After bringing on my new boss she had also told me the same thing, we like your experience and want to eventually put you into marketing. Believing and hanging on to every word they said, I believed them.
Well, it’s been six months now and I am still at the same position. My boss, who I originally thought was this amazingly skilled Marketing person, has now turned into yet another lost sheep at our company. She has become increasingly odd as each day comes and her requests are even odder.  She once called me after she left for the day (because I always arrive before and leave after her) to look for her toothbrush and lipstick that she may have left somewhere in the building. After looking around our two story building for an hour I just gave up. They ended up being in her purse with everything else she loses.
But a great story is what happened last Friday. Now, keep in mind every one in our marketing department finds our boss completely inadequate to fulfill her duties as a VP and have no idea how she got so far in life. They all have also noticed her increasingly odd behavior. She creepily stares at you for an awkwardly long period of time. She is in her 60s, but thinks she’s 20 when she tries to give us high-fives and fist bumps. She cannot for the life of her remember anything you tell her. She can only do one task at a time. I could go on forever on her odd behavior, but I will get back to the story.

A Little Ditty to Get You Through the Workday

The scene: a woman calls her dad to complain about a rough day she had at work. The dad isn’t really sure how best to comfort his daughter, so he ends up writing her a song. You’ll be humming this in your head all day long.

A Day In the Life of an Intern

The brilliant minds over at I Love Charts created this graphic, which gives insight into the mind of a boss who is deciding whether to assign work to an intern.

No, You Shouldn’t Bring Your Assistant On a Date With You

Today on The Frisky, Rachel Kramer Bussel writes about a date she went on with a former Top Chef contestant. Though Bussel wondered if her knowledge of the show would be a plus or a minus on the date, his reality TV connection was much less weird than some other things about him. Namely, the fact that he brought his personal assistant along on the date:

When we got to the restaurant, the assistant sat on one side of me and he sat on the other. He proceeded to whisper in my ear and tried to make out with me. “What about your assistant?” I kept asking.

“Oh, she’s fine,” he said, nibbling on my ear. “She doesn’t mind.”

She didn’t, but I did. I wish that was the end of the story, but it’s not. I tried to dodge his kisses while the assistant chatted with the guys next to us. They encouraged me to try the rock shrimp, which was delicious—though it would’ve been better had I not already eaten dinner.

And yes, it got weirder.

Though I was beginning to realize he was not the love of my life, I was still somewhat intrigued. We all wound up going back to my hotel room. Yes, all three of us. Meanwhile, I was texting my ex-boyfriend, who was encouraging me to live it up, lamenting his own lack of youthful debauchery. “Trust me, I’ve been there, done that,” I texted back. “I’d really rather be with you.”

As much as I crave alone time, I think part of me, after already anticipating the lure of a date in a new city, wanted things to work out. I wanted not so much sex, but companionship; maybe once we got rid of the assistant, something would spark between us. But no sooner had we entered my room than his assistant went to sit in a chair in the corner while he took his clothes off. “I’m going to take a shower; want to join me?” he asked, making himself at home.

This guy was clearly capital-W weird, and good on Bussel for quickly realizing her date wasn’t life partner material. But I would love to know what was running through the assistant’s head all night. Does she get paid extra for her wingwoman/chaperone duties, or is that de rigeur? It’s bad enough being a third wheel when both the other people are your friends, but when it’s your boss and his date of the evening that has got to be a master class in awkwardness.

Dear Assistants, Always Check the Correct Address for Dildo Delivery

There are many ways to tell someone that your relationship is over. Some people break up in person. Kelsey Grammer told his wife Camille to stay in a hotel when she flew out to attend the Tonys with him. And, in the case of Tammy Lynn Michaels and Melissa Etheridge, the sex toy delivery was the tip-off. Tammy Lynn says that she knew something was up in their marriage when Melissa’s assistant delivered a box of dildos to her house by accident. She wrote (although that’s using the word loosely):

three weeks later a box of new toys
was delivered and her assistant brought
it to my rental house as a mistake
i opened it
and that’s when i felt something was up

i called her
“i have your new dicks on my kitchen counter?”

one thing by one thing
i slowly felt things were not
as
they were being represented

If E.E. Cummings had written about getting dumped via a sex toy delivery error, that is probably exactly what he would have written.

Daniel Hernandez: From Intern to Hero

There are badass interns. And then there’s Daniel Hernandez, Jr.

The 20 year old University of Arizona student was less than a week into his job as an intern for Rep. Gabrielle Giffords when she and many other people were shot outside of a Tuscon grocery store last weekend. Although the shooter was spraying into the crowd and Hernandez could have run for cover, instead he ran up to his boss, who had been shot in the head, and held pressure down on her wound to help curb the bleeding. He stayed with her until an ambulance arrived. His quick thinking and medical knowledge are being credited with helping Giffords survive. He even has his own Facebook fan page now.

Hernandez, however, claims he’s no hero. He told his school newspaper: “I don’t think I’m a hero. I think doing something one off is not something heroic. I think the heroes are people like Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, Ron Barber, Dave Zimmerman, and Pam Simon. They are people who have dedicated their lives to public service so for them it wasn’t just a one time thing, it’s spending their entire lives trying to help others.”