Monthly Archive for October, 2010

Anna Wintour Thinks You Should Get Fired

Anna Wintour recently spoke at an event called “Fashion U,” where high school and college students can learn about the fashion industry. Among other things, she spoke about being fired from a job and advised everyone to follow suit:

I worked for American Harper’s Bazaar . . . they fired me. I recommend that you all get fired, it’s a great learning experience.

Is this why she fires so many people from Vogue? Because she’s hoping to enrich their lives?

Flight Attendants Are Kind of Like Assistants

Inspired by the story of Steven Slater, the JetBlue flight attendant who bailed out of the plane on a security chute when he just couldn’t handle his job anymore, Reader’s Digest has some anonymous horror stories from flight attendants who have also had to deal with rude passengers. What I learned from reading the article? Being a flight attendant is a lot like being an assistant, except in a long metal tube with minimal chances to escape. Here are a couple of examples:

Passengers are always coming up to me and tattling on each other. ‘Can you tell him to put his seat up?’ ‘She won’t share the armrest.’ What am I, a preschool teacher?

Just in case you hadn’t noticed, there are other people on the airplane besides you. So don’t clip your toenails, snore with wild abandon, or do any type of personal business under a blanket!

Want to start off on the wrong foot with me? Put your carry-on in a full overhead bin, leave it sticking out six inches, then take your seat at the window and wait for someone else (me!) to come along and solve the physics problem you just created.

Danny McBride’s Advice on Workplace Hookups

Danny McBride, aka Kenny Powers on Eastbound and Down (the show every dude in my life is obsessed with) talked to Nerve.com to give sex advice to some of their erstwhile readers. Among his deep thoughts:

I hooked up with my coworker while drunk at an office party, but I’m not interested in dating her. What should I do now?

Kind of too late. You already took a shit where you eat, homeboy. That’s not a good thing. Just ride out the awkwardness. See how weird it’ll get, and maybe she’ll quit. Make things weirder. Push it a little. Maybe send flowers to her from an anonymous person. Just start coming off like a stalker.

It’s nice to know that he and I agree on something.

The Grossest Expense Report Ever

I always thought that late style icon Isabella Blow had the craziest expense report ever – she once apparently bought a ruined village for $50,000 and tried to expense it to her employer, Vogue publisher Conde Nast. (They said no.)  But it looks like this one will outdo them all. A newly discovered set of German government expense reports from the Nazi years shows that officials were able to expense things that helped them kill Jews.

The historians discovered the travel expenses of one senior diplomat who went to Serbia in 1941 to help organise the killing of Jews.

The expenses form said simply: “Liquidation of Jews in Belgrade.”

Something tells me that wouldn’t fly at my workplace, but I guess you don’t know unless you try it.

Anne Hathaway Wants to Be an Assistant

Anne Hathaway is on the cover of November’s Vogue, proving once again that you can star in The Devil Wears Prada and somehow get Anna Wintour not to hate you. In the interview, Anne says that she wants to do more than just act – her goals include finishing college, starting a band, and being Tilda Swinton’s assistant. Um, it’s cool that you like Tilda Swinton, because she is awesome, but since you’re famous already you could probably just be her friend and not have to manage her schedule.

Perhaps this is a new trend: is the vanity assistantship the new vanity internship? Way to one-up Kanye, Anne.

Steven Adler and the Worst Assistant Ever

Sometimes, assistants fuck up. They get a coffee order wrong or file papers out of order. But nothing comes close to this story about the assistant of Guns N Roses drummer Steven Adler:

Cops had come pounding on the door. They had obtained a warrant and searched my house. When I asked why, I was horrified by the explanation. My ex-assistant, Rocko the pervert. This terminal whack job, who had tried to videotape unsuspecting people in my bathroom through a hole in the celing, had just been arrested for suspicion of murder. What the fuck? Apparently, he was kidnapping girls, drugging them, and then videotaping the unconscious victims in various positions and sex acts. They raided his home and found dozens of videotapes containg the graphic rape footage. They also found pictures of my ex-girl Analise and my mom Deanna. Rocko had been spying on us and taking pictures the whole time he had been staying with me.

Um, dude? Not cool. Check the assistant handbook – this isn’t in there.

Monday Coffee: Don’t Have Fun, Or Else

There is a “depressing vogue” for having fun at work. Methinks some people sound a little grumpy. – The Economist

Here are ten archetypes of bad bosses, including The Credit Hog and and The Put-Down Artist. Hmmm… why do these all sound so familiar? – Forbes

Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps is finally out. But it doesn’t deliver as well as the original. (Note: do not click on this link if you are a spoilerphobe!) – AwardsPicks

Just because women are achieving pay parity doesn’t mean they’re achieving pay equality. Important distinction. – The New York Times

Sometimes, you have a horrible first day at work. But sometimes you can take that terrible first day and turn it into a really funny cartoon. – The Gloss

Women are leaving Wall Street at a much higher rate than men. Why? It has to do with a lot of factors, including institutionalized sexism and a desire to do something less evil for a living. – Wall Street Journal