Laurie Graff, author of the novel The Shiksa Syndrome, held a reading and book signing at a Manhattan Barnes & Noble recently. Her assistant, an NYU student, was in tow. A spy tells STA:
A B&N employee offered to put those “autographed copy” stickers on a couple copies of the book while Laurie was signing. But Laurie made a big show about how it *had* to be her assistant putting the stickers on the book. “She needs to learn the value of hard work,” Laurie said about her sad, scared looking assistant.
Wow, I had no idea putting stickers on books was considered hard work! I guess this means that getting up, putting on clothes, and turning on my computer every morning counts as manual labor. I wish that were true, because I’d be in better shape.
I’m all for assistants banding together and helping each other get out of scrapes. So on one hand, the Seraphic Society, a secret fraternity-esque alliance of assistants to some of the most high-profile executives in the world, seems like a good idea. The members, all based in the New York City area, are able to call on each other with help regarding everything from referrals for private jet companies to tips on the proper way to introduce a diplomat. Beyond the usefulness, though, the Seraphim (“seraphim” are a class of angel, btw) operate in a weirdly cloak-and-dagger fashion: for example, each member is given a white leatherbound book containing the names and contact information of the other members.
Are the Seraphim a close-knit group of people with stressful jobs, or a bunch of people who make themselves feel important because they work for people who are important? I can’t decide. Also, there’s some gender stuff going on here – there are no men in the club (there was one before), but this probably has more to do with the continuing practice of male bosses/female assistants that pervades through corporate structure despite being hopelessly out of date than it does with the Seraphim’s own preferences.
The CNN article about the Seraphim does make some good points – they’ll seem obvious to us, but they’re good observations about the difficult nature of the assistant job. Multiply the typical assistant job (and salary) by ten, and you’ll get some idea what it’s like to work for a Fortune 500 company’s CEO:
Courteney Cox has a new show (the horrifyingly named Cougar Town), and that means she’s doing a whole slew of interviews to promote it. Her interview in the L.A. Times is a pretty classic example of how celebrities try to look endearing. Those steps are below, with appropriate corresponding Cox quotes.
1. Tell some anecdote about how ‘normal’ you are, with bonus points if it relates to being a mom.
“Recently my daughter had lice. OK? Wasn’t fun. Became a big outbreak in the house.”
2. Blame paparazzi and/or “the media” for getting in the way of you trying to be all normal all the time.
When Cox went on a non-picturesque errand to buy anti-lice nit combs at Hair Fairies, a.k.a. “The Head Lice Helpers,” three paparazzi were accompanying her.
3. End by reminding everyone how not normal you are, thus revealing your complete lack of perspective.
“So I stayed in the car, and I called up my assistant, and I said, ‘Dude, I can’t get out of the car.’ So that’s the only problem.”
Great try, Courteney! However, making your assistant buy lice combs for your kid is on par with making him or her (I consider using the word “dude” gender-neutral) take your kid on a tour of the sewer. Also… when you referred to that lice “outbreak” earlier, who exactly were you talking about? Because I know you don’t have any other kids, so was it you who also got lice? The nanny? Or perhaps … the assistant?
It’s Labor Day. For most of us, Labor Day means a long weekend off from work, the end of summer, and a moratorium on wearing white shoes. However, as assistants we should remember the real meaning of Labor Day – a holiday to celebrate the worker. Here are some links you should check out if you want to learn more:
Wikipedia, of course – learn about how Labor Day differs from International Workers’ Day and more
If you’re unemployed, why should you care about this holiday? The Associated Press weighs in.
It’s not truly a worker’s holiday unless you get free stuff. Chick-fil-a is giving away free sandwiches to people who show up today in sports-themed gear (click here for details).
Should you really want a challenge, take this Labor Day quiz – and don’t cheat by scrolling down.
I’ve seen enough people who get jobs thank to stunts – starting websites, entering karaoke contests – that I’m starting to think writing resumes and actually going to job interviews is about to go the way of the dodo bird or Lehman Brothers.
A 23-year-old recent college graduate in London, Alex Kearns, was frustrated by his job search not going anywhere. Kearns, who majored in the super-practical fields of French and Italian (hey, I minored in French and am not hating, but I was willing to acknowledge my field of study wasn’t necessarily the one most sought-after in the job market), decided to take matters into his own hands. He printed a huge copy of his CV and held it up in London’s busy Trafalgar Square. The gambit caught the attention of the International Business Development Group, who offered him an interview and eventually a job:
He has now begun working as a sales executive at their London offices, selling consultancy services to companies in the UK and abroad.
His stunt also brought offers of an interview with another company and work experience in an advertising firm.
Look, I say good for Alex. The thing is, though, the more people who pull stunts like this and get jobs from them, the more likely we are to see hordes of people trying to do the same thing. Personally, if Union Square starts filling up with recent college graduates standing around holding up copies of their resumes, it’s going to get really old really quickly. How long can gambits like this work before people become immune to them? I still think it’s worth perfecting the art of resume-writing.
It’s been an interesting few weeks for ex-assistant lawsuits, hasn’t it? First Patricia Heaton, and now newly-minted Emmy winner Tyra Banks. TMZ, who apparently has a staffer permanently camped out at the Los Angeles County courthouse, has obtained a copy of a lawsuit against Tyra by one of her former assistants, Richard Thomas:
Thomas is suing for back wages plus a little extra. The complaint says Thomas wants the money for “services rendered as assistant and advisor.”
Exactly what kind of “advising” was he doing? Did he just tell her which of the two wigs she was choosing between looked prettier on her? And doesn’t $5K seem like kind of a small lawsuit? This does not seem to be as juicy as the Patricia Heaton lawsuit, but you never know.
While the internet is kind of like the Wild West in terms of what’s allowed and what’s not, there is one rule I think everyone can agree on: don’t use all caps. IT LOOKS LIKE YELLING. Anyway, one company decided not only to take a firm stance against all-caps, but to show no mercy to people who wrote that way. Vicki Walker, an employee of ProCare Health in New Zealand, was let go from her job after sending out an all-staff email written with the caps lock key on.
Walker sued ProCare for wrongful dismissal, and won, getting a settlement. Though her email annoyed coworkers, she pointed out that ProCare did not have an approved company style guide. Even though her all-caps bothered people, there was no specific protocol on how emails were supposed to look. I’m sure that was ProCare’s #1 agenda item as soon as the lawsuit ended.
Do you think an all-caps email is a good reason to fire someone? I’d say no, but five or six in a row from the same person might convince me otherwise.
Have you ever run low on work excuses? I mean, your grandmother can only die so many times before it starts to sound suspicious. That’s why someone thought up “The Office Kid,” a kit which helps you seem like you’re a parent. The kit includes a photo of a cute-looking kid (in the ethnicity of your choice), a child-produced drawing that you can hang up in your office, and a list of offspring-related excuses. It’s perfect if you suddenly decide to pull a Lindsay Lohan in “Labor Pains” and pretend to be pregnant to get sympathy – in this case, you’ll have years’ worth of excuses without even having to produce an actual child. Just remember to be consistent about what the little angel’s name is.
Courteney Cox has a new show (the horrifyingly named Cougar Town), and that means she’s doing a whole slew of interviews to promote it. 
I’ve seen enough people who get jobs thank to stunts – 
