Step 1: sit through this massively annoying video.
Monthly Archive for August, 2009
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It’s certainly an odd movie to claim taught me something about the workplace, but Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead, the great ’90s movie starring Christina Applegate when she was still best known for being Kelly Bundy, actually gave me a really useful piece of work advice. When Applegate’s character, Sue Ellen, fakes a resume and gets a job as an assistant at a fashion company, her boss, Rose, teaches her an incredibly useful phrase: I’m right on top of that, Rose. Sue Ellen learns to use that phrase anytime it needs to look like she’s working on something or a higher-up wants to know how a project is going. Sue Ellen may not even know what the hell they’re asking about, but she sure as hell will claim to be “on top of it.”
While the movie is completely unrealistic, that notion of saying you’re doing something when you don’t have any plans to do so is a pretty common office phenomenon. At my first assistant job, I used “I’m right on top of that, [Evil Boss' Name],” all the time. My boss, who was in his 70s and had no idea that I was quoting a movie to him, would always seem satisfied with my answer.
This line is also incredibly useful with your parents, your neat freak roommate, your professor, or anyone else who is trying to make you behave like an adult when you don’t want to. Are you done with that term paper? I’m right on top of that, Professor Rose. Are you planning to come home for Christmas? I’m right on top of that, Mama Rose. See? It really is perfect. Thanks for that, Christina Applegate.
“Karl is like a dad. I’ve known him since I was 16 – I would do a lot for Karl. I was once on his plane flying to China. He wouldn’t stop talking. After a while, I said to him, ‘I have to sleep now Karl.’ When I woke up 10 hours later he was still talking to some poor assistant!”
- Diane Kruger, actress and former model, to Tatler magazine (via SassyBella)
Former Fugees member Wyclef Jean stopped by MTV’s New York studio recently to promote a new contest. He has 10 aspiring musicians remixing versions of his latest single, “More Bottles,” and is posting them all on his official website so that fans can vote on which one they like the best. However, while he was at MTV to promote one contest, he ended up starting another one. An MTV intern named Josh Rosenstrauch challenged the musician to a push-up competition. Not only did Clef accept, he’s upping the ante. During the taping of one of the remixes, he announced:
Josh from MTV, push-up competition, we’re gonna do it at the Nokia Theater, so I can embarrass you in front of everybody. No less than 100 push-ups. I know you’re a young man, so you will be facing the old man. Wax on, wax off.
Is there a day set yet? Because I’m happy to pop over to the Nokia Theater and record this for posterity.
The African prince spam email is such a well-known one that by this point I almost chuckle at the sight of one in my inbox. However, the recession is causing spammers to get creative – if people don’t have money, then what else can you extract from them? Easy – offer a job. ITWorld’s Cara Garrison reports on one recent spam email she got:
The letter is from Jacob Dube, who says he’s “looking for a goodhearted person with a possible life line to assist me.” Dube claims to be the personal assistant to the president of Zimbabwe, whom Dube describes as a despot responsible for fixing recent elections. Dube says the president has asked him to move $22.5 million to Malaysia, where the president will high-tail it to should he be forced out of the country.
But Dube has other plans.
“I have decided to divert this money for my personal use,” says Dube, “and probably to invest it in [an] oil/gas contract in your country.”
Dube has already deposited the money in a South African bank, so here’s the ‘call to action’: “All I want you to do for me is to come to South Africa so that we can change the ownership of the deposit to your name…” That’s all this guy wants from you. He then goes on to describe how dangerous South Africa is for foreigners, detailing the latest attacks and killings that have been going on.
Well, I’m sold. Meet you guys in Africa! Last one on the plane is a rotten egg.
In the French film L’assistant (“The Assistant”), an elderly woman sets out to find herself a personal assistant. However, she’s not looking for someone to help her run errands or answer phones – she’s trying to a person she trusts enough to help her end her life peacefully. Be warned – this clip is powerful and very intense (It’s in French with English subtitles.)
www.reservoirfilms.com Watch more films!
Remember in college how there were those services where you could pay someone money to write your paper for you or just purchase a prewritten paper on the topic of your choice? Well, now plagiarism exists on a whole new level. Now you can fake job references. That’s right – even though you’ll get fired if someone finds out, the website Career Excuse will provide phony references for you, even going so far as to set up a dummy company URL and phone number in the case an intrepid HR person decides to research your former place of ‘employment.’ If you’re switching industries or a newbie trying to get a heads up, you can create fake references with specific details about what you did, what responsibilities you had, and even how much you earned – for a nice fee, of course.
I’d advise against it, but if your inner James Frey is just bursting to get out you might want to check here.
I love Mad Men. However, as a feminist, there are definitely some things about the show that I find difficult to watch. The show is being historically accurate, and they do a great job showing the layers of all their characters, but having a 21st century mindset makes some scenes incredibly difficult to endure – the scene where some of the guys in the office chase down a secretary to see what color underwear she has on, for example, or the one where Betty’s psychologist reports on the details of her therapy session to her husband. Today, The Frisky has a first-person account from a woman who went on a job interview and found herself seemingly transported back into the Mad Men era, without any of the awesome clothes or Joan Holloway:
- I was informed the “girl” they let go was terminated because she was “too professional in social settings and didn’t know when to turn it on and when to turn it off.” I nodded, working through the possible implications of that, as he continued. “I mean, if you are the sort of girl who, when you are out with a client, and he reaches over and puts his hand on your knee—well, if that sort of thing is really going to offend you, then this isn’t the right job for you.” Ahh, so that is what he meant. Fabulous.
- I was treated to a 10-minute lecture on “how to do business.” This included choice phrases like, “I’m gonna let you in on a secret, little lady,” and, “The real deals get made during social hour with a few drinks and some buttons undone.”
Continue reading ‘interviewee discovers sexism still exists’
When bosses say they want their personal assistants to be available at any time, some of them really mean it. Jennifer LeRoy, who owns the popular New York restaurant Tavern On the Green, allegedly fired assistant Jamie Mora just a week after Mora told her boss she was pregnant. The New York Post reports that Mora is now suing LeRoy for back wages and damages.
The high-strung heiress hired Mora to handle her personal and business affairs in 2004 and to make herself “available to Ms. LeRoy 24 hours a day, seven days a week throughout her tenure at Tavern,” according to court papers.
Who knows whether Mora could have worked during her pregnancy? I mean, Katherine Heigl’s assistant managed to fetch her boss Coke Zero while heavily pregnant, so there does seem to be a precedent.
Robert Rave’s book Spin, a not-so-thinly-veiled account of his tenure working as the assistant to PR doyenne and media target Lizzie Grubman, has a book trailer out. It depicts a scene from the book (where the male assistant has to hide in the ladies’ room trying to get dirt on celebrities) and brings up some very important issues. Enjoy:
