Monthly Archive for July, 2009

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lindsay lohan’s workplace movie airs

Published on July 16, 2009 in Fictional Assistants and Video. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , , .

Labor Pains, the straight-to-TV movie that was once heralded as Lindsay Lohan’s big comeback, will be airing on ABC Family, the same network responsible for Secret Life of the American Teenager. I think they’re trying to give Lifetime a run for their “young pregnant chicks” entertainment stronghold.

In the movie, LiLo plays a beleaguered assistant whose boss (Chris Parnell) hates her and wants to fire her, when suddenly she comes up with the ‘brilliant’ idea to fake a pregnancy in order to keep her job. (Hmmm…who else gets knocked up to ensure job security?) The movie also features ex-assistant Cheryl Hines as a concerned coworker.

alber elbaz is my hero

Published on July 15, 2009 in Heroes and Quotes. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

“The people I chose to run my new store in London are nice. I cannot work with b*****s, I can’t, I can’t. Maybe I am too sensitive, I get blocked. There are some people who don’t give a damn. With me, I find that if there is no energy flowing or no connection, I can’t think. Talent is amazing — I love it, appreciate it. I respect talent a lot. But if you ask me, ‘Talent and b***h, or less talent and good?’ I’ll go with less talent.”

- Lanvin fashion designer Alber Elbaz, via New York magazine

video: rearranging work words

Published on July 15, 2009 in Video. 0 Comments Tags: .

I came upon this video via the workangst community on Livejournal, and it’s an advertisement for joining a union, but even with absolutely no context I thought it was really clever and thought-provoking. Anything more than that might kill the fun of watching it, so here goes:

japanese workers need to smile more

Published on July 15, 2009 in Assistants in the News. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

One of my hugest pet peeves is people telling me, apropos of nothing, to smile more. Usually, it’s some dude on the street who just cat-called me and doesn’t understand why I don’t appreciate his sexytime advances, but I’ve definitely heard it from bosses as well. I don’t think that forcing someone to put on a happy face actually makes them any happier, but it seems that the Japanese railway company Keihin Electric has installed a new software into workers’ computers in order to monitor the facial happiness of their employees. The software will periodically scan the employee’s face and note eye movements, mouth wrinkles, and other factors to determine how happy their face looks.

For those with low scores, advice like “You still look too serious,” or “Lift up your mouth corners,” will be displayed on the screen.

Some 530 employees of the Tokyo-based railway company will check their smiles with Smile Scan before starting work each day. They will print out and carry around an image of their best smile in an attempt to remember it.

I can only imagine this making me even more angry, but perhaps it goes over better for others? Tell me what you think.

do you suck as a coworker?

Published on July 14, 2009 in Survival Guide. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

As much as this website is about calling out bosses who suck, it’s only fair to turn the focus back on ourselves sometimes. I know that by the end of my nightmare assistant job, I was not a fun person to work with. I’d mentally checked out of the job and could not have cared less about hitting any deadline except my last workday. While I disagree with some of them (you are TOTALLY allowed to complain about having too much work to do, and you are also not required to agree with every single thing your company says/does or be accused of disloyalty, for example), a couple of them are spot-on. Here are a couple of red flags that might indicate you’re not the awesomest person to work with:

  • Everyone in the office knows about your personal life. Don’t get me wrong – I advocate all the time for being friends with your coworkers when you can. It’s one thing to tell your best work friend all about your recent breakup, but it’s another to overshare to everyone in the office if you don’t know them that well.

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swearing is fucking great for you

Published on July 14, 2009 in Junk Drawer. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

I consider myself a bit of an expert when it comes to profanity – in fact, my roommate is not a native English speaker and he relies on me to teach him how to swear. This new study from Keele University in the UK has just confirmed for the world something I’ve known for ages – swearing is awesome and it makes you feel better.

Their study involved 64 volunteers who were each asked to put their hand in a tub of ice water for as long as possible while repeating a swear word of their choice.

They then repeated the experiment using a more commonplace word that they would use to describe a table.

The researchers found the volunteers were able to keep their hands in the ice water for a longer when swearing, establishing a link between swearing and an increase in pain tolerance.

So, I thinks this means you’re now allowed to curse as much as you want at the office. Because it helps you relieve stress, obviously. Funny, perhaps your boss was onto this phenomenon some time ago.

spin: the latest assistant tell-all

Published on July 14, 2009 in Celebrity Assistant Soapbox. 0 Comments Tags: , , , .

First there was The Devil Wears Prada, based on the nighmarish machinations of Anna Wintour. Then there was Because She Can, inspired by the evilness of publisher Judith Regan. “Former assistant gets revenge via roman a clef” is now a genre in its own right. The latest addition? Spin, a book about an assistant (male, this time) who toils for a shrill, demanding diva of a publicist to the stars. The author, Robert Rave, used to work for Lizzie Grubman, so you can do the math.

Gawker has some juicy excerpts from the book, which include drug use, belittling coworkers, and casual racism. This is going to be fun. I’ll be first in line to get an autographed copy. The best revenge really is living well.

margaret cho, super assistant

Published on July 13, 2009 in Fictional Assistants and Video. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

The new Lifetime show Drop Dead Diva, which stars actress Brooke Elliott as Jane, “a shallow model-in-training who dies in an accident only to find her soul resurfacing in the body of a brilliant, thoughtful and plus-size attorney,” premiered last night. Though I didn’t get to watch it yet, there’s one huge plus in the show’s column already: the hilarious and provocative Margaret Cho, who plays Jane’s assistant Teri. Here’s a clip of Margaret talking about her role and what she did to prepare for the part:

family needs assistant to go camping

Published on July 13, 2009 in Junk Drawer. 0 Comments Tags: , .

These days, people will get an assistant to help them do almost anything. When I was at my first assistant job, I worked for a guy who was in his 70s and would ask me to send telegrams for him. Now, there are “assistants” who help you grocery shop or pick out clothes for you. But one family in Maine has gone to an all-time new extreme: they hired a personal assistant to help them go camping for the weekend. To be fair, they didn’t have to pay the assistant, as he was provided for free as part of an experiment for Maine’s parks department. The project took families who had never been camping before out to the woods to help them get in touch with their nature side.

Saucier wasn’t too worried about his lack of camping skills though, as his family was one of 32 families chosen at random to participate in the First-Time Campers program sponsored by the Department of Conservation. As such, the Sauciers had their tent, sleeping bags, chairs, lanterns, bottled water and an assortment of other gear waiting for them, as well as a personal assistant.

That assistant, Gary Best, an interpretive specialist with the Bureau of Parks and Land who claims he has the best job in the state, welcomed the three generations to their campsite.

“We’re really glad you brought good weather,” Best told the family, as the sun peeked through the forest canopy. As he did with each First-Time Camper family, Best gave the Sauciers a lesson on camping and outdoor ethics, then helped the family set up their tent and install a tarp over a picnic table. Before he left, he discussed fire safety.

On one level, I think this is kind of interesting. On another, I feel like they could have just watched some instructional videos or something. I mean, I know I watched some of them back when I was a Girl Scout and getting my knot-tying badges or whatever.

Also, “interpretive specialist” is in the running for most absurd-sounding job title I’ve heard in a long while.

hey, remember grace rwaramba?

Published on July 13, 2009 in Assistants in the News. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

Depending which article you read, Grace Rwaramba was either the late Michael Jackson’s personal assistant or his kids’ nanny. (Maybe both.) It seems that older articles have the Uganda native listed as his assistant, including one that I wrote about here on STA, while newer ones refer to her as the nanny. However, the Mirror (UK) is now alleging that not only was Rwaramba responsible for Michael’s three children, she was also his secret girlfriend.

Ian Barkley, who travelled the world with Jacko for three years as his personal photographer, says the couple’s romance was an open secret among staff after they fell in love while she was nanny to his children.

“Grace loved Michael and he loved her,” he said. “The kids called her ‘Mom’.”

And here’s something that helps explain her shifting job title:

Grace was introduced to Jacko by his former spokesman Dr Tohme R Tohme in 1991. She started out as a secretary before working her way up to become the most important woman in the superstar’s life.

In 1999 she was picked to care for Jackson’s oldest kids following his divorce from second wife Debbie Rowe. She became the dominant figure in their lives with one insider noting: “Everything is done Grace’s way.”

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