“I went to my fridge the other day and was so angry there was no bread. I called my assistant and said, “what happened to the bread?” She said, “Your trainer told me to take it!”
- Gerard Butler, discussing his worst habit, in People magazine
Archive for July, 2009
If you asked me which assistants I thought got paid the most, I’d guess it was an assistant to the person who got paid the most, like a CEO or a big movie star. Thus I’d also conclude that an assistant to a monk, a person who does not earn - or spend much time thinking about - much money, didn’t have a lot of cash on hand. However, one monk’s assistant, Raymond Yeung of Singapore, decided he wanted to buck tradition. The assistant to Buddhist monk Ming Yi ran up credit card debt and even took out a loan to finance his extravagant lifestyle. He accepted a loan from Ren Ci, a hospital that Ming Yi founded, even though he was not able to pay it back. He - and his boss - are currently on trial.
What would former monk’s assistant Leonard Cohen have to say about this, I wonder?
Have you ever thought it would be fun to Xerox your butt on the office copier? Well, one artist took that idea to a whole new level by creating a high-tech chair with a photocopier in the seat - in other words, you can copy your ass and get work done at the same time. Here’s a video that shows how the chair works, in case you want to get one for your boss.
Fox411 reports that Tyra Banks is on a diet, and she’s taking it so seriously that friends aren’t allowed to eat non-approved foods in her presence lest they tempt her to do the same.
Now, the Fox story doesn’t go this far, but I think it’s completely plausible to guess that her assistants and coworkers also can’t eat in her presence, unless it’s some weird “the rules don’t apply while working” diet (which is totally unlikely, considering how many projects Tyra is working on at any given time - if she didn’t diet while working, her diet would be irrelevant).
Lest you think our lady TyTy is starving her friends and coworkers, she is eating. The food she banned is only stuff that she also isn’t allowed to eat. According to the article, she’s permitted fruits, vegetables, lean meats, and lots of water. Mmmm, celery sticks for everyone!
You may find this information positively shocking, but as the economy continues to suffer and companies find ways to cut costs - and jobs - asskissing at work is on the rise. That seems entirely logical to me, since when people are worried about losing their jobs they’ll do things in order to prevent that from happening, and one time-tested way of keeping your job is getting your boss to like you.
According to the same survey, backstabbing and office politics are also up 40 percent. I have no idea where these numbers came from. I mean, it’s one thing to be able to say “backstabbing is on the rise” because you’ve noticed more people doing it in order to preserve their job security, but that can only ever be a casual observation at best. How can you possibly quantify the amount of backstabbing that is going on? Even if you did a survey of workers, you could come up with something like “40 percent of people say backstabbing is on the rise,” or “40 percent of workers admit they’re more backstabby now,” (which seems to be what the surveyors did, since the rest of the piece is about a worker poll) but that would still be a little bit of a stretch.
Anyhow, you can find the entire study here.
When last season of American Idol added fourth judge Kara DioGuardi, many speculated that Kara’s addition was a potential test to see if she could replace Paula Abdul in case Paula decided to leave the show (because a woman can only replace another woman, obviously). Now, Paula’s embroiled in difficult contract negotiations that leave her status on the show uncertain. Her manager has complained to the press that Paula is being lowballed - she makes far less than fellow judge Simon Cowell and host Ryan Seacrest, and she’s holding out for more money.
As an avid Idol fan, I could go two ways with this. One is that Ryan and Simon both provide more value to the show than she does - Simon’s also a producer and helped create the show, and while it seems like hosting a reality show is easy, compare Ryan with a lesser TV host and you’ll see how talented he is at moving the show along and smoothing transitions. Ryan’s the only host, but Paula is one of three - or four - judges. Besides, her commentary is often rambling or irrelevant - do we really care that you like someone’s personality or outfit when they can’t freaking sing? Part of me thinks she should be grateful to Idol for resurrecting her career and making her a pop culture icon. After all, would she have had her reality show, jewelry line, endorsement deals, or other side gigs if she hadn’t made her Idol-fueled comeback? I doubt it.
On the other hand, there’s the Randy Jackson factor.
I adore Mad Men - not just the show, but the style and the actors. (Who doesn’t wish they looked like Joan?) So I love the website Mad Men Yourself, where you can create a digital version of yourself who can interact with the Sterling Cooper world. Here’s my avatar as she presents a badass pitch in a client meeting and balances a cup of tea:
How do you tell when a celebrity has really hit the big time? Is it when they’re on the cover of People magazine? Maybe the first time they’re invited to Diddy’s White Party?
I’d venture a guess that a celebrity is really famous when he or she gets a personal assistant. So in that case, let’s now welcome Susan Boyle to the big-star table. The Scottish woman who turned into a YouTube sensation when she sang “I Dreamed A Dream” on Britain’s Got Talent has been coping with the effects of fame. She’s going on tour, has had to learn how to use a cell phone for the first time in her life, is purchasing the house she’s been renting for years, and has a brand-new PA named Julia. With help from Julia and her mentor Simon Cowell, Susan is also recording her first album.
As long as you’re nice to your assistant, Susan, I won’t have to say anything mean about you on this blog. But you’ve been warned.
It never ceases to make me laugh when newspapers or magazines ’suddenly’ catch on to the ‘trend’ of working remotely. Still, as the economy sucks and people are taking pay cuts or working multiple part time jobs, these trend pieces are not going anywhere. Now, the Washington Post has coined the term ‘digital nomad‘ to identify and describe people who - like yours truly! - can do their jobs from anyplace they want (provided it has wifi, of course). Here are some of the reasons/benefits the article gives:
- You can wear whatever you want.
- No one makes you get up at 7 AM.
- You can avoid traffic or crowded public transit.
- You are able to work flexible hours, which is particularly awesome if you have kids or are working multiple gigs.
- “Meetings” can be conducted from your living room, a Starbucks, a library, or basically anywhere else.
- Buying an iPhone is a “work expense.’
- You can meet other digital nomads at your coffee shop of choice.
- If you want to go on vacation, you don’t have to request time off - you just have to make sure your laptop will work from the beach or hotel or airport or wherever.
In other words, your company needs to get with the times and let you be a digital nomad already.
If you’re a diehard Devil Wears Prada aficionado and you thought that assistant life couldn’t possibly get worse at Conde Nast, think again. A spy tells Gawker.com that the publishing behemoth has come up with some ‘creative’ ways to try and keep the assistants hard at work:
So now we have incentives to be good assistants because there is an assistant of the month prize of $500. I’m going to be the model assistant, lol. A couple of those and mama can buy herself a chanel bag or some loubs!
That’s great for the lucky assistant who gets recognized that month, but when everyone is making close to a poverty-level wage it really doesn’t help. How many assistants do they have at Conde, anyway?
While the assistants are toiling away in hopes of winning a bonus, it seems like the interns have finally had enough. A sign was posted in the breakrooms informing Conde employees they will have to wash their own dishes instead of the interns doing it for them. The whole note is here, glorious, and totally worth reading, but here’s my favorite part: “I know, I know: you went to Vassar, you have a rich husband, you’ve never washed a dish in your life.” I want to hire whoever penned that note to run this blog for me when I go on vacation. Call me, intern!