what not to say in your resume

We’ve gone all week without a Tip of the Week, so here goes (with a hat tip to techrepublic.com):

• Awesome
• Dude!
• Jesus
• Basically any mention of religion, really. Unless you’re applying to work at the Vatican or something.
• “I have a chronic illness”
• Profanity (even if you did go to Asshole State University)
• What year you graduated from college (hello, age discrimination!)
• Kickass
• Degrees/Certificates: BS, Business, University of Florida; Promises Rehab Center, Malibu, CA
• “I left my last job because my boss was a total douche” (even though it’s true)
• DUDE.
• Aliases you’re wanted under in other states
• “I plan to get pregnant immediately after you hire me and I have health insurance” (see also: Hasselbeck Technique)