the sta interview: liz funk

Liz Funk is the author of Supergirls Speak Out: Inside the Secret Crisis of Overachieving Girls. Her book deals with the pressures many women and girls face to be ‘perfect’ at everything, often to their own personal detriment. She very kindly agreed to answer some questions from me about how this concept applies to the workplace.

STA: Do you think that, despite many laws and other concentrated efforts for gender equality, women are treated differently in the workplace?
LF: Absolutely. At each and every level, there are different standards and expectations for women. The most frequently echoed frustration that I heard from young women working on the job search and starting in their career track is not knowing what to do with their femininity, and trying to strike a balance between being cute and pretty and being competent. There is also a tendency to view women supervisors as mother figures, and we hold women in the office to a certain standard of niceness, and there’s a real trickle-down effect that compels many women at work to sugar-coat things.

STA: What particular goals, pressures, and ideas do women bring into the office?
LF: I personally feel that femininity is a great tool. As a whole, women are very intuitive and they’re natural negotiators. Powerful women aren’t always bulls the way powerful men frequently are, and I think women are better at meeting people where they’re at and finding common ground. Also, something that I’ve overwhelmingly noticed is that girls are much better at impressing others in workplace and having career common-sense, and I think they’re much less overentitled than guys (which is something that is scarcely brought-up in this “Gen Y overentitlement” media brouhaha).

STA: Where do you think this notion of “women must be perfect” come from?

LF: I think it starts in the media, where we have perfect celebrities on TV and in movies, and then once girls start to appear effortlessly perfect in college or at work, they get attention for it, and it spreads through peer groups. It’s something that’s engrained really early on: at least in high school, if not middle school, and spirals until we confront it!

STA: Is perfectionism a good thing (because it means work is held to higher standards) or a bad thing (because it makes people paralyzed if they think they’re not good enough)?
LF: I would argue that perfectionism is a negative thing. Perfectionism often costs women their humanness. I think it’s one thing to have a certain level that you hold yourself to, and it’s important to be detail oriented—I’m a journalist, I would know!—but there is definitely such a thing as doing too much. I think the ticket is having a healthy amount of ambition and drive, rather than burning out and demanding too much of yourself.

STA: Do you feel that “having it all” books like I Don’t Know How She Does It have been helpful or hurtful to women?
LF: I honestly haven’t read I Don’t Know How She Does It, but I think that the popularity of these sort of books that examine the enigma of perfect women is simply systematic of an overachieving culture. Almost every woman wants to be able to do more, and better. And women have really been raised to compare themselves with other women, and scrutinize themselves. I personally think the better strategy, though, is understanding that no one is perfect, rather than examining those who appear perfect and try to achieve that impossibility themselves.

STA: How can women cope with the pressure to be perfect?
LF: I think it’s about finding your intrinsic worth: why you matter outside what you look like, how others perceive you, and what you’ve accomplished. Women need to really become conscious of their internal monologues, their emotions, and who they are, and develop stronger relationships with themselves.

STA: Is there anything a man can learn from your book?
LF: Ha! That’s one question that an interviewer has yet to ask me! I think that maybe when men become cognizant of the various obstacles specifically for women at work, they could make an effort to include the women they know at work in their water-cooler conversations and networking chats after work at the bar, given that women don’t always get included in the office camaraderie if they’re not men. Also, men can examine whether they too are letting their careers take over too much of their identities.

STA: Where do you hope the American workplace will be in five years? Ten?
LF: Obviously, I’m a huge proponent of equal pay, which I write about a lot in Supergirls Speak Out. I hope that women will be able to negotiate their salaries and not feel self-conscious about it. Also, I hope that American women are able to achieve a better work-life balance, in that they can go home and not be constantly thinking about work stress and not be thinking about how they can advance themselves tomorrow, but also a work-life balance in terms of women having identities outside of their careers and what’s on their resume. It’s important to value yourself for who you are at any age (which is another thing that maybe guys can get out of reading Supergirls).