madonna’s brother/ex-assistant writes tell-all

It must be hard to have a world-famous multimillionaire singer as your sister…I mean, look how little Jamie Lynn turned out. Some celebrity siblings handle it better than others. Until recently, it seemed like Material Brother Christopher Ciccone was one of those well adjusted celebrity siblings who skated that line between “normal person who stayed out of the spotlight despite well-known relative” and “total famewhore attempting to capitalize on sibling’s fame.” But not anymore. Although his career is entirely due to Madonna (he has worked as her interior designer, an artistic director for some of her tours, and her personal assistant), he’s now stabbing her in the back by publishing a memoir about–what else?–Madonna. It’s hard to ignore the fact that even now, as a ‘writer,’ the only thing people want to read about is not Christopher Ciccone, but the sister who has always overshadowed him.

And what does Christopher have to say? He claims that Madonna’s husband, Guy Richie, is a homophobe. And kind of a douche. Oh, and that both Madonna and Guy are totally obsessed with Kabbalah and don’t want to talk about anything else.

Frankly, my own waning like for Madonna nonwithstanding, I think it’s pretty crummy for her brother to write this book. Maybe she’s irredeemably evil and he’s trying to make something out of the ruins of their relationship, but it smacks of exploitation to me. Besides, you know what’s way more interesting about the world of minor celebrities-cum-interior designers? The actress who played Liesl in The Sound of Music ended up becoming an interior designer and being hired to redecorate Michael Jackson’s house. I’d totally read that book.