jake gyllenhaal seeks (female) assistant

Do you think Jake Gyllenhaal is totally dreamy? Well now’s your chance to get close to him–he’s hiring an assistant. However, there’s one catch–women only. I wonder why Jake’s so adamant about preferring female help? Maybe he thinks women or more organized. Or perhaps he’s afraid of someone taking a picture of him with a male assistant and assuming it’s his boyfriend?

3 Responses to “jake gyllenhaal seeks (female) assistant”


  • *frantically faxing resume*

  • Advertising for a “female-only” assistant is a violation of federal law. “Save The Assistants” has a moral obligation to report the source for this story and report it; if not to the public in general, at least to the EEOC.

  • John, you need a sense of humor transplant! It’s just a made up story. Fan fic. Sadly.

Comments are currently closed.