Back in the glorious days when I worked from home, I watched a lot of bad TV. And I once saw the Naked Cowboy on an episode of Cristina’s Court, which is this terrible judge show. The Naked Cowboy is this dude who stands in his underwear in Times Square and gets his picture taken with people, and he has a guitar and sings this song that he wrote about himself. On Cristina’s Court, the Naked Cowboy was “suing” his girlfriend because she didn’t like having a 24/7 webcam in their bedroom that streamed to his website, and he was all “she’s getting between me and my destiny and blah blah something Tony Robbins said” and she was like “he’s delusional enough to think that people want to watch him sleep,” and Judge Cristina (who is a total famewhore, by the way) sided with the Cowboy because he “charmed” her by singing his stupid song in the courtroom.
Wait, what was this about? Oh, right. So the Naked Cowboy, for some reason, has an assistant. The assistant’s name is Elvis. One of Elvis’ duties is helping the Cowboy with his ridiculously OCD eating plan/schedule. I won’t bore you with the details of said food plan, since it is infinitely less interesting than fake lawsuits on Cristina’s Court, but together we can ponder what the hell kind of horror stories Elvis might be able to share with us.
Elvis Lives?
Yes!!!