cabana dan to the rescue: assistant mictoria

Loves, I know it’s been a while. Lilit has been holding down the fort quite nicely though, which leaves me room to romp around in my knickers witha tough assistant case lately – that of Mictoria, a lovely young girl with a bright future, but who I suspect is battlin Ashley. But that is, as they say, beside the point. I’m back with you today because I’ve been hearing a lot about  a deep, deep case of Stockholm syndrome.

Now, Mictoria – I’m speaking to you directly, hoping to shake you out of this nonsense – I’ve heard that you survived the BTD and have moved on to lovelier places, and that’s just brilliant. However, despite your former boss’s reputation with this site, you seem to be under the delusion that the woman deserves your praise. Now, this may well be the case and if so, big congratulations to her for the about-face.

However, I do play James Bond in my spare time, so I’m accustomed to dealing with tricky minxes and I want to be sure that you are not under some sort of spell or narcotics, so please, if you would, answer these simple questions.

True or False:

• You received an annual salary increase of 10% per year.
• You were promoted.

If you answered “true” to these, then huzzah! You are free and clear of all Stockholmish syndromes. If you answered “false”, then please answer one more question and then we’re all done.

• Your boss consistently blamed other people for why there wasn’t more opportunity for you.

If you’ve answered “true” to this question, then, my dear, you should not be singing your former boss’s praises and should instead be thinking about what you want and how to get it, without your old boss’s help. Because, really, it’s sort of like asking a crack dealer to recommend you to a good cocaine dealer. And that’s just messy and will probably eventually involve the law.

So, in closing, Mictoria – I hope we’ve got this sorted now and can all get back to our regularly scheduled romping around in mankinis. See below for example.

XOXO, CD