Ever want a laugh? Surf Craigslist for a few minutes. You’ll be sure to find something worthy of note. Especially for the over abused assistant with a wandering eye (who hasn’t been there?) who might be looking to hand in their badge and gun and mosey on out of Dodge.Here’s some gems under the assistant category, for Los Angeles at least:
- A veterinary practice “looking to hire an assistant to help us conduct therapy on pets”
- Clergy administrative assistant to one Rabbi and two Cantors. “Knowledge of Hebrew and an understanding of Jewish practices and observances is a significant plus.”
- Lego Instructor Needed (I shit you not), “We would like our Instructors to have a positive energetic attitude, and most importantly, patience; experience working with children, and building LEGO is a plus.” Count me in.
- X-Ray Technician in Glendale. If you want to “accidentally” become a superhero, that is…
Oh, and don’t forget you can go international. Want to travel? You can use your assisting skills to aid the masses.
Well, TGI fucking F. Lilit goes on vacation and the Porn* invades our site and attacks our readers through RSS. Thank holy Jesus for Michael, our awesome tech guy who figured out how to thwart them and banish the XXX from our domain. We tried to have some guest bloggers, but they were subdued while we dealt with our technical crap. Fortunately they’re both very understanding individuals so we can look forward to reading their fabulous contributions next week. Anyway, some other shit happened this week, too:
- Christina Aguilera had a baby, a photo shoot, and a hissy fit. (Ironically, this was post #666 for us….)
- Naomi Campbell is currently experiencing some kind of karmic retribution for her treatment of assistants. Ashley, for one, hopes the hospital garb is orange (like the jumpsuit that sanitary workers are supposed to wear). She also hopes that Naomi recovers just fine and lives to clobber another day (see above re: karmic retribution).
- Britney stayed out of trouble (no assistants fired, etc.).
Have a great weekend, and keep it clean, people – you don’t want the Porn invading your shit. Trust us. By the way, if you click on the Porn link above, all we can say is, “take that, Porn, with your damn porno links!”
So Christina Aguilera had a baby, then she had some baby pictures taken and sold them to People magazine for a cool million plus change. But apparently the public is less enthusiastic about her baby than those suckers at People expected, because the issue with her and said baby on the cover is not exactly flying off the news stands.Now, this might seem like something better suited for those crazy gals over at Take Back the Island, but for one little thing: in reaction to her cover selling poorly, Xtina has fired her manager, her PR people, her assistant, and maybe even her chef at this point. She’s like Henry VIII with all the heads rolling around her.But seriously, her assistant? What could she have possibly done regarding this whole disaster that would warrant a pink slip? Sigh, the mercurial ways of a post-partum pop star never cease to amaze us. Read more scoop here.
Ashley here. Sorry about the trouble with the porn links in the RSS feed – we’re all for workplace distractions, but those are a little extreme. Please sit tight while we suss out the problem.In the meantime, if you guys get anymore gnarly links with your RSS feed, please email us at ashleylilit@gmail.com.
Mooching is a wonderful and truly underrated lifestyle choice. The years of college, and the forced circumstances of living with a roommate are prime time to hone these skills. Now, even as a semi-grownup, I find that I can use these talents to vast benefits. Observe: I enjoy having frequent access to the new Nintendo Wii video game system because my lovely boy happens to have one, and yet I didn’t pay a dime (though, as systems go, it’s relatively affordable). I was even there when he bought the wee Wii last year… we approached the moment with the sincerity and seriousness as one might affect when adopting a child. But it’s all his, and thank heavens we didn’t split the cost on it, or you can imagine the custody battles that would ensue if things should end badly between he and I.
Any STA reader who has had the pleasure of playing “Super Mario Galaxy” on the Wii probably has an inkling of whom I am about to introduce, but let’s unmask our honored guest with some finesse, shall we? Continue reading ’super mario galaxy co-star’
I thought a good start of my momentary vocation here might be to go back to the basics assistant-wise. I mean, really back. Make it challenging.
Thinking grandly for a first topic of entry, I started to query the idea of the notable assistants of history. All these Alexander the Great and Ivan the Terrible, was there never a secretary or assistant or apprentice with such legendary adjectival suffix-age as “the great” or “the terrible”? How about “the obedient,” “the resilient,” or “the indefatigable”?
Could you say that, in the old world scheme of apprenticeship, that many of the greats started as assistants? This would probably not apply to the royals among the figures of history, those born into their station of grandeur. But did the young Florence Nightingale, Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin and Marie Curie all begin their scientific and medical careers as lowly lab assistants, cleaning up after the rats and making tea for their betters? At their beginnings, did Georgia O’Keefe, Leonardo Da Vinci and Claude Monet spend their late nights cleaning brushes by candlelight and stretching canvas for their masters?
With a little research, this topic could amount to a thesis paper, so you’ll forgive me if I cut this short and zoom my focus in on a group of little-glorified and oft-vexed assistants of yore; the Lady In Waiting.
Continue reading ‘assistants of history: the lady in waiting’
While all’s been pretty quiet on the Naomi Campbell front, fellow cranky supermodel Liz Hurley has made some nasty headlines for her treatment of one of her employees.Apparently Liz and new husband – both multi-millionaires – are too cheap to pay one of their employees livable wages. What the hell? We here at STA have a zero-tolerance attitude towards stingy millionaires. That school of thought should have been buried with Leona Helmsley. Fortunately, the employee, 31-year old Violet d’Souza, knew her rights and brought a lawsuit against her employers for “breach of contract, failure to supply a written statement of terms, race discrimination and unfair dismissal.” Now that’s the kind of empowered assistant we like to hear about. To read more, click here.
Not many celebrities are up for sharing the spotlight with their assistant. Kathy Griffin, on the other hand, is no ordinary celebrity as she’s proven recently by not only including her assistant in her reality show, but visiting the girl’s hometown of Tracy, California.
Now, I’m from California and can tell you that Tracy, stand-up town that it might be, is no Beverly Hills. Getting there involves more than 30 minutes in the car, some blah California scenery, and it tends to be a lot warmer or colder there than most people would expect. What I’m saying is that Kathy’s decision requires commitment, and it’s refreshing to see her going out of her way to get to know her assistant, whom she affectionately refers to as Princess Tiffany.
To read more about Kathy Griffin’s trip to the land of Princess Tiffany, click here.
I love WebMD. Why? Because when I had my first panic attack, it told me I wasn’t dying. It was during my first job out of college working for a small PR firm in Silicon Valley during the Internet boom. My boss kept trying to email me something to print that wasn’t compatible with my compooter thingy. The problem really lay in the fact that once she’d email it to me, rather than seeing if it had gone through, she’d just delete it from her desktop. When I had to tell her for the third time that I couldn’t print it, she lost her shit and screamed at me.
Fun times, fun times. Anyway, the panic attack came later in the afternoon. I was sitting at my desk and my heart started thumping slowly and things got a little fuzzy, like slow-motion out of focus. I remember watching my hand move towards the phone, ready to call 911. Luckily it passed and I managed to finish out my day. That night, after searching for “heart attack” and “stroke” and then finally taking it down a notch to “panic attack”, I got to know the stress management tips provided by WebMD.
I also realized that I really didn’t like this whole stress thing, and that there were two things that were really stressing me out at that point in my life, one of which I could do something about, the other of which I couldn’t. Shortly afterwards, I quit my job and booked a flight to Europe. And that is a whole other story.
To read more about life changes that will help you cope with stress, read here. -Ashley
If you don’t spend as much time reading TMZ as we do, you may not know who Bobby Trendy is. He’s a supergay interior designer whose only real ‘fame’ comes from the time he spent as a hangeron to Anna Nicole Smith and getting some face time on her E! reality show. However, his dubious level of fame seems to make him worthy of having an assistant. Bobby actually held auditions in L.A. so he could find himself a PA. We’re not sure if we should be glad that only six people bothered to show…or horrified that six entire people cared enough to show.
Watch this video and judge for yourself. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
