Today, in the “people who don’t need assistants” category: Gossipmonger Perez Hilton, who spends most days “working” at an L.A. Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf shop.
His assistant is his sister Barbara. Here’s our imagined list of what Barbara might do all day:
- Double-check all photos to make sure they have penises or misspelled words doodled on them
- Keep bathroom stocked with Manic Panic
- Hang up on any lawyer who might call regarding most recent copyright suit
- Maintain ongoing lists of who Perez is friends with this week
- Call publicists to inform them when Perez has bowel movements
- Bronze and polish Paris Hilton shrine
- Think of things to write on business card besides “Perez Hilton’s assistant”
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