Monthly Archive for November, 2007

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inside mariah carey’s assistant entourage

Published on November 26, 2007 in Celebrity Assistant Soapbox. 0 Comments Tags: , .

Blender magazine reports that Mariah Carey showed up to the VH1 Save the Music 10th anniversary party with nine–you read that right, nine–assistants in tow. Why in the world could anybody need nine assistants when even Diddy doesn’t need that many? According to Blender, one of the assistants sported a belt of brushes and hairspray, one carried hot rollers, and one seemed to have only one duty–supplying Mariah with a steady stream of breast tape. Maybe to save money, she could cut the last assistant and start wearing dresses that actually cover her tits? Just a suggestion.

Also, how does “Mariah Carey’s Curling Assistant” look on a resume? What kind of job do you apply for after that? If it’s “author of tell-all book,” we’re interested.

now it’s personal: striking writers’ assistants fired

Published on November 26, 2007 in Assistants in the News. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

As assistants, we know what it’s like to be cheated and mistreated, wondering when we’ll be loved. So we’re naturally siding with the Writers Guild of America members who are currently on strike. However, since it the strike didn’t have much to do with bad boss behavior or Diddy’s new assistant, we’ve kept those feelings largely off of this blog. Then over the weekend, an STA reader alerted us to Jonathan Handel’s Huffington Post column Give Peace a Chance. Below, the part that got us really incensed:

The WGA’s on strike, determined to inflict maximum pain on the producers. Meanwhile, the AMPTP has compared the WGA to McCarthyites and announced that its next bargaining sessions will probably be with the DGA, in an attempt to cut an early deal with the directors, undercut the writers, and spank the WGA for striking. And, at least one studio has fired showrunners’ personal assistants, many of whom are probably young aspiring writers to whom the showrunner is a mentor. “Make the pain personal” seems to be the theme. Neither party is willing to return to the bargaining table without conditions, and even backchannel discussions have largely ceased.

Come on, guys. What’s next, threatening WGA members’ relatives? How Draconian can you get? This strike isn’t just about writers wanting more money in the present, it’s about changing the way writers will be compensated in the future. And who is the future? Assistants.

Tina Fey, I hope you can clear a space next to you on the picket line. I’ll even stop for coffee on the way.

things for which we are giving thanks

Published on November 20, 2007 in Holidays and Saved. 0 Comments

Yeah, we know, Thanksgiving isn’t til Thursday. But with so many people off or leaving early tomorrow, we thought we’d go ahead and post a little early.

Top Five Things For Which We Each Are Grateful:

Ashley:

1. One-Year Anniversary of STA, thanks largely to Lilit

2. Workplace Distractions like Ask a Ninja (turn your cubicle into a cubi-kill!) and the Fugs

3. Turkey, and the tryptophan-induced haze that follows

4. Having the whole week off from work

5. No longer working in a Black Tower of Death (the building our former workplace, The Evil Empire, was located in)

Lilit:

1. Being responsible for stuff other than “Refill boss’ coffee mug again” and “Make 2,000 copies by hand”

2. Saying at cocktail parties, “I run a blog about people who hate their jobs.” Especially since the response is usually: “Oh my God, I have to tell you this one story about my boss…”

3. The excuse to watch at least a dozen different Thanksgiving-recipe-related shows on the Food Network.

4. All the assistants who have been saved in the past year.

5. The fact that my and Ashley’s former place of employment still has Save the Assistants blocked from all their company computers. It’s like this old expression…”If they’re shooting at you, you must be doing something right.”

Bonus thing we’re both thankful for: You guys. Yes, you. The ones whose eyeballs just moved over this sentence. There would not be a Save the Assistants without the assistants who write to us, send us horror stories or funny links, enter our giveaways, and email us when they quit their jobs. You guys are the reason we love checking our email every morning and the reason we even update this site when we go on vacation.

the sta interview: amy genovesi

Published on November 20, 2007 in Interview and Survival Guide. 0 Comments

Amy Genovesi was like many of you: she graduated from college and thought she’d automatically land a job. However, she soon realized that her college’s career center had left her unprepared for job-hunting, so she made up rules as she went along until she landed a gig. Along the way, she became really great at writing resumes–so great that she now earns a living helping other people write theirs via her Raleigh, NC-based company, Amy’s Resumes. She talks to STA about the art of the resume.

STA: How did you end up writing resumes for a living?
AG: I got good at writing resumes because when I first graduated from college, I had a hard time getting a job. I kept sending out resumes and sending out resumes, and finally I found something that worked. 99 percent of my interviews came from one resume. After that, people started asking me for help. I thought, ‘Maybe I should do this for a living.’

Continue reading ‘the sta interview: amy genovesi’

desperate celebrities compete for assistant job

Published on November 19, 2007 in Celebrity Assistant Soapbox. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

First, The Apprentice was kind of interesting. Then it kind of sucked. Then it devolved into self-parody. Then it was cancelled. And now it’s back. With ‘celebrities’ competing for the job of professional douchebag Donald Trump’s glorified assistant.

Who the hell would want to be on this show and make an ass of him or herself on TV? Well, funny you should ask. Here’s the cast list, with our notes:

  • Gene Simmons (famewhore)
  • Omarosa (famewhore)
  • Stephen Baldwin (famewhore)
  • Vincent “Big Pussy” Pastore (Will he quit before the show actually airs, like he did on Dancing with the Stars?)
  • Nadia Comaneci (Really? You have a gold medal and now you’re doing this? Have you learned nothing from the disaster that is Bruce Jenner?)
  • Marilu Henner (I guess those Taxi residuals aren’t coming in as often as they should)
  • Tito Ortiz (Being Jenna Jameson’s boyfriend isn’t a full time job?)

The rest, who we plan to continue not caring about, can be found here.

the worst celebrity bosses ever

Published on November 19, 2007 in Celebrity Assistant Soapbox and Horror Stories. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

Anyone who has ever looked at our site for more than five seconds knows that Naomi Campbell is a terrible, terrible person to work for. But this CNN article includes several more people you wouldn’t want to assist, including Gordon Ramsay, Simon Cowell, and, oddly, the late Al Capone.

We commend the article for leading with one of the worst bosses in history, film producer Scott Rudin. We once met a former Rudin assistant who told us a story about when he (the asst) was sent to pick up bagels for a meeting, there was enough cash left over to get a couple of muffins as well. When assistant showed up at the office with the spread, Rudin threw the muffins one by one at the assistant’s head, yelling “I didn’t tell you to get muffins!”

Maybe we’re wrong and Naomi’s not the worst. Then again, this isn’t a competition anyone should want to win.

aaaaand we’re back

Published on November 19, 2007 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Those of you who tried to visit STA this morning got an error message telling you the site was suspended. That was just Awesome Web Designer Michael doing some maintenance to our server, and everything is good now. Thanks, Michael!

week in review, jerry springer wrapup style

Published on November 16, 2007 in Week in Review. 0 Comments

In the nonstop crazy world that is celebrity assistantdom, this week didn’t disappoint. We got a retroactive horror story from Hunter S. Thompson’s former assistant, British songstress Lily Allen reportedly considered an assistant job, and P.Diddy picked a new helper on live TV.

We also haven’t missed out on a second of the coverage of assistant Natavia Lowery, who admitted to murdering her boss, celebrity real estate broker Linda Stein, which inspired us to coin the term going assistantal, which is the new “going postal.” How can you prevent yourself from going assistantal? We recommend staying healthy, not putting up any red flags, and when you’re going through a particularly bad day, reading this story of an assistant saved or this of an assistant who shamed her boss without having to kill him, for inspiration.

We leave you with these parting words: be good to yourselves, and each other.

it wasn’t not funny!

Published on November 16, 2007 in Junk Drawer. 0 Comments Tags: .

Not every submission at STA is a full-on horror story. Witness this email we got today:

My coworker actually said in a meeting ‘I am not unarticulate.’

By the way, points for anyone who gets the reference in the title of this post.

are you a ‘red flag’ employee?

Published on November 16, 2007 in Survival Guide. 0 Comments

Have you ever put together a kick-ass resume, totally nailed the interview, and then been mystified when you didn’t get the job? It could be that a board member’s kid also applied for your job. Or it could be that you unwittingly had a ‘red flag.’ Careerbuilder lists a couple of these HR-bait ‘red flags’ so you’ll know to avoid them in the future:

  • Missing Part or All of Your Contact Info
  • Inconsistency
  • Large, Unexplained Lapses Between Jobs
  • No Long-Term Goals
  • Negative Comments About Past Jobs or Employers
  • Being Unprepared

For more, click here.