We’re on the record as believing that no one should work between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. Let’s be honest: even if you go to work, you’re probably not doing any work, unless online shopping counts as work. So let’s kick off the Week in Review with some workplace distractions:
And if you’re feeling somewhat more introspective and want to ponder life’s great questions, we might suggest:
Have a lovely, luge-friendly weekend.
Today, the Spoiled Useless L.A. Brats edition:
Spencer “Prat” Pratt
OR
“One Night In” Paris Hilton
Is there a woman in your office who seems to only communicate via Post-It note? Or a guy who is always leaving bitchy signs in the bathroom signed “a concerned employee”? If so, take a snapshot and submit it to this awesome site, The Office Sign Project.
It’s that time of year again: office holiday parties, Secret Santas, and (let’s hope) end of the year bonuses. And here’s an important etiquette question: should you get your boss a gift?
Maybe your office is really small and the kind of place where you can’t omit one person from your gift list without being really obvious. Maybe you pulled his name in the Secret Santa pool. Or maybe you actually kind of like your boss. (Ha, just kidding.)
First thing, do some reasearch. Find out if he got a gift from an employee last year and, if so, what it was. That will help you set some guidelines in terms of what’s appropriate and how much to spend. You should also try to find out if he got anyone a gift last year. If he tends to stiff his assistants, there’s no point trying to buy his love.
Even if you know your boss is the world’s biggest Lynrd Skynrd fan, it’s probably smart not to buy him some kind of Skynrd memorabilia. Your boss is not your brother or your best friend. Our general rule of thumb: get your boss something that would be appropriate to give to a client you don’t know very well. Think a bag of gourmet coffee or a nice bottle of wine, not concert tickets or a book. A lot of assistants spend so much time dealing with their boss’ personal matters that they think they know everything about him. But we say…let his family get him more personalized presents.
For more suggestions, click here.
As broke-ass assistants, we’re always looking for ways to cut costs. One simple way to do that is to pack your lunch everyday instead of going out. But do you find that packing a lunch every day means you default to boring PB&J? You might want to check out this awesome photo group on Flickr called Brought My Lunch. You can drool over the pictures of various sumptuous and tasty-looking lunches and let the photos inspire you to try some new recipes. If you have a Flickr account, you can take a snapshot of your own lunch creation and add it to the group.
Mmm. It’s healthy, cheap, and creative.
Texas A&M University football coach Dennis Franchione recently announced that he was resigning from his post. Why? Because he and his personal assistant, Mike McKenzie, were busted charging selected team “boosters” $1200 to recieve newsletters containing secret insider info relating to the team. McKenzie was fired almost immediately after reports of the newsletter, called “VIP Connection,” surfaced.
What’s bothersome about this situation is the obvious class difference regarding how the two men were treated. Both McKenzie and Franchione were linked to the newsletter and accused of benefitting from it financially, but one was fired and one was allowed to resign. The one allowed to resign was also the one who might get to keep part of his very hefty salary. Pay close attention to Wall Street, assistants, and learn: if your boss does something illegal, your ass will totally be on the line. Whether you’re responsible or not.
Ever wondered about the origins of Save the Assistants? Lilit tells the story to 52 Projects creator Jeffrey Yamaguchi on The Inspiration Project.
While not as much fun as “office loogy” might be, this game will send you flying through board rooms and landing ass-up on the copy machine. No workers’ comp though, sorry.
Enjoy the luge: http://www.nytimes.whsites.net/play/
Now that we’re in the biggest shopping season of the year, who doesn’t want to avoid the crowds at the mall and shop online instead? If you’re planning to shop online from the office, though, be careful what you purchase. Companies who are already paranoid about monitoring their employees’ computer usage aren’t just spying to see if you look at porn. They’re on the lookout for any place you might give out personal/confidential information, and having a package sent to your work address could fall under that rubric.
So if you’re planning to hit eBay for a great deal on that espresso machine your coworker has been coveting, click here for some advice first.
We can never say it enough: be careful on the internets, people. Don’t post myspace pictures of yourself drunk when you’re supposed to be home sick. Periodically Google yourself to make sure nothing embarrassing shows up on the first page or two. And, thanks to the assistant to the editor of New Criterion, we can add to that list: do not write embarrassing craigslist personal ads easily tracked to you. Assistant Jennifer placed a personal ad looking for a boyfriend in NYC. There’s plenty of “cover the eyes and shake head” stuff in here: namely, that men under 35 “are too immature to hold hands with, let alone kiss” and she describes herself as “My ass and legs look hot in jeans as well as slutty skirts or feminine dresses. Full lips, great breasts, adorable pretty face, and a intelligent, sensual, and also highly affectionate sex appeal that you will love.”
The lesson? Do not do this. Unless you are weird and get off at the idea of people pointing and laughing at you on Gawker.
