how to tell if your boss is secretly a pirate

He keeps breaking keys on his BlackBerry because he pokes them with his hook.
His pet parrot molted all over his office and you have to clean it up.
The HR manager had to speak with him about using the word “booty” in the office even though he said it wasn’t sexual harassment.
Your last check was paid in 10s, 20s, and pieces of eight.
When he doesn’t think you’re working hard enough, he threatens to make you walk the plank.
He refers to the colleague he hates as “a landlubber.”
His name starts with a color and ends with “beard.”