It being Talk Like a Pirate Day and all, we thought, “hmm… well, this could be an annoying way to even the score with your boss.” To that end, we’ve compiled this brief list of scenarios you might encounter today and how to handle them – like a pirate.
Scenario #1:
Boss: Why are you late?
You: Me ship hit a nasty keel on the way to port las’ night an’ I din’t get to rest me head until the wee hours.
Scenario #2:
Boss: Fetch me some coffee.
You: Arr, me stumpy leg is killin’ me from walkin’ all over the office fer ye. I believe I shall commit mutiny!
Scenario #3:
Boss: (Phone rings) If that’s my wife/kid/whoever on the line, I’m not here.
You: (Answering phone) Arr, sorry to tell ye but yer ol’ man would rather walk a plank than talk to ye.
Scenario #4:
Boss: Here’s your paycheck.
You: Such a small amount of booty fer such back-breakin’ work, ye tight-fisted scalawag!
Scenario #5:
Boss: I’ve had enough of this pirate crap. You’re fired.
You: Shivver me timbers! Now I can collect me some o’ that thar unemployment. Arr!
(Alternatively, if you’re shy or not into the pirate thing, you can just tell everyone to “shove off”.)
I love this post.