I’m currently an executive assistant at a pretty small company. I work for the CEO of the company, and he’s actually the only person who has an assistant. The day I started, one of the VPs (who was totally made fun of as a kid, I can tell from his attitude now that he’s a “big shot”) immediately started treating me like I was his assistant. He left piles of papers on my desk with little notes on them asking me to fax them or file them. He even sent emails to people telling them I was in charge of his schedule, even though I didn’t even have access to it! I tried to be as polite as I could when I rejected doing work for him, i.e. “Actually, I’m really busy with stuff for [insert real boss' name here] today, sorry.” But VP didn’t get the hint. Finally, one day I snapped. I took a pile of papers off my desk and marched into VP’s office and said, “I know I’m an executive assistant, but I’m not your executive assistant!”
Obviously, VP was pissed, so he went to my boss and told him what happened. Turns out my boss is pretty awesome, because he totally gave VP a lecture about how I don’t work for him. It was great, and VP hasn’t been able to look me in the eye ever since. And he still doesn’t have an assistant.–Cate, New York City
Former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres definitely has reasons for being mad at J.Lo, since Marc Anthony left Dayanara (and their two young sons) for Ms. Lopez-Noa-Judd-almost Affleck. However, don’t count a beauty queen out. Seems that Tiana Rios, who used to be J.Lo’s assistant, has now gone to work for Dayanara. Us Weekly reports that “Jenny from the Block is worried that Rios will spill the family secrets now that she’s on the other woman’s side.”
Hey, Tiana? We want to hear those secrets too! Did she make you prank call Jennifer Garner? Did you have to personally inject Botox into her forehead a la Ugly Betty? Was one of your job duties to constantly tell her how awesome she was in Maid in Manhattan? The people need answers!
Oh, and we’d also appreciate any insights into why J.Lo looks so much like a vanilla-and-chocolate swirl ice cream cone in this picture.
Lilit here. This story contains an example of something I really hate–an enabling assistant. There’s nothing more depressing than an assistant who makes excuses for his or her boss’ shitty behavior. It’s Stockholm Syndrome at its most evil. I should know, since at my former assistant job one of my main duties was getting on the phone and apologizing to people my boss had cussed out. Anyway, this enabler doesn’t show up til the end, but believe me, this particular horror story is a doozy in its own right.
My husband had gotten a new job working in a landscape company as a consultant and was hired on to work with homeowners who were planning landscape. On the first day they put him to dig ditches and pour cement! He was being paid big bucks to do back-breaking grunt work. My husband decided that a check was a check and he would do it for a little while.
After three months his back gave out and he told his boss that he needed to see the doctor. His boss told him that he could not go to the doctor because he needed him at work (my husband’s hands were numb from the pain in his back!) Well, my husband went to the doctor anyway (after he treatened to report his boss to the state) and found out that he had a herniated disk! His boss was livid and accused my husband of fraud! My husband took a few days off and was trying to get back to work when his mother died after a long battle with cancer. Guess what?!?! That son of a bitch fired my husband for taking additional time off! The boss’ assistant called my husband in tears apologizing for that SOB. Thank God my husband found another job a few weeks later.–Submitted by Debra, Florida
This interesting article from Yahoo talks about the five biggest workplace myths. There are some great points here, like how promotions don’t necessarily mean as much as they should and that you will not always be rewarded for good work. But here’s the real sticker:
News flash: If you report sexual harassment it’ll probably hurt your career. The law protects companies from getting sued for sexual harassment, and human resources professionals are trained to circle the company and protect it as soon as someone reports a problem. This isn’t to blame people in HR — there’s nothing else they can do because the law dictates this behavior.
It’s sad, but it’s true. As stories like this one and this one show, not only is sexual harrassment still around, but new laws and training programs haven’t necessarily curbed bad workplace behavior.
So what’s our advice? Remember that you deserve better. No matter how trapped you feel in a job, or how much you need to keep working because you need the money or the benefits, there are other jobs out there. Apply for them. And furthermore, even if you can’t sue your company, you can stand up for yourself. You can politely tell your boss you’re not interested. You can not-so-politely tell your boss you’re not interested. You can keep a journal of every improper thing your boss does and make sure he knows you’re keeping it.
And if that doesn’t work, well… rent Nine to Five. Maybe it’ll give you some ideas.
Our neighbors across the pond may drink tea instead of coffee and say bloody instead of fucking, but they too know what it’s like to have a crappy assistant job. So let’s hear it for 2007’s UK Assistant of the Year, Lisa Rodgers. According to the Times of London,
Lisa Rodgers, who today becomes PA of the Year, is the perfect example of how the role has changed. Where 20 years ago a PA was busy with typing, shorthand and diary management, before adding e-mails, presentations and research to the list, today’s multi-taskers often have HR, training and recruitment responsibilities on top.
Lisa, 32, effortlessly and with aplomb, handles all this and more in her job as executive assistant to Rachel Bell, managing director of the PR and marketing agency, Shine Communications.
Not only that, but the woman has three kids under the age of six. Dude, we can’t even have a plant without killing it. And she has a rule about never having more than two emails in her inbox? Sheesh. Now she’s making us look bad for checking Go Fug Yourself five times a day.
We salute you, Lisa. And your boss seems quite cool as well.
Now that Rosie is off of The View, we here at STA feared that the show’s drama factor would be drastically reduced. Fortunately, our old pal Martha Stewart (who seemed to handle prison just fine, unlike some people) can always be counted to stir up some controversy. While Martha was taping a View appearance that aired last Friday, her driver was arrested. Page Six reports that Martha was not happy and was overheard on the phone screaming at her assistant. The highlight? Martha allegedly yelled, “How could you do this to me? Don’t you do background checks on people? He was Egyptian! What do I pay you people for?” It’s not quite Ricki Lake’s afterbirth, but…damn.
After a long respite, Smoldering Lawyer Clive returned with two helpful posts this week. First, he advises celebrity assistants, and then he proposes a new law. Is there nothing he can’t do?
And Clive’s here just in time, because it’s been a doozy of a week for horror stories. We’ve got sexual harrassment, stalking, uneccessary bonding, and general assholitude.
Wow, it was tiring just writing that. Clearly a sign that it’s time to skip out of the office a little early and have some margaritas. We’ll meet you guys at happy hour.
I work as a technical assistant in the Media and Training Services Dept of a public school system. My bosses recently hired a new cable utilization specialist who happens to be the most self-centered man on the face of the earth. He spends half his day flirting with a woman 16 years younger than he is (also, he’s married) and the other half bragging about how much money his wife makes, his new house, boat, truck, etc. I am forced to sit less than six feet away from this joker all day and make polite conversation when he is not “working.” It’s apparent to both my bosses that we absolutely loathe one another and do not enjoy working with one another in such close quarters. (and from what I can tell they aren’t so crazy about him either).
To break the tension, the senior boss suggested a “team activity” in attempt to build a non-existent “team.” First paintball was suggested, but then the senior boss suggested that we all get pedicures at a local salon! I almost choked on my sandwich! I then said that I thought this activity was more suited to one’s bathroom at home rather than a mixed sex group activity, something akin to inviting people to watch me shave or tweeze stray hairs. I also added that I had no interest in viewing my new co-worker’s bare feet. The suggestion was never made again.
Everyone I tell this story to visibly shudders…two women and two men getting a pedicure together and they aren’t even related! Unfortunately I did get to see the clown’s feet. He came down with the gout and took his shoes off to ask my expert medical opinion. BLEAH!!!–Submitted by Deborah, location withheld
Hello pets,
I just can’t seem to stay away this week. Must be the springtime weather…
Anyway, I’ve been hearing whisperings of this silly new “Lohan’s Law” that is scaring the bejesus out of club owners and underage celebrities in Los Angeles. For those of you unawares, “Lohan’s Law” is the apparent result of Lindsay Lohan et al being granted entry to bars and clubs regardless of their underaged status. I know I’m British and have been swilling spirits legally since I was 16, but I was under the impression that regular citizens and celebrities were obligated to follow the same set of laws.
Regardless, this brings me to an interesting point. If “Lohan’s Law” can scare young celebutards and their ilk so badly, perhaps there is something to be said for enacting laws as a result of celebrity behaviour.
On that note, I’d like to propose “Naomi’s Law” – a law I shall dedicated to my fellow countrywoman, catwalker/scratcher extraordinaire, Naomi Campbell. As you might probably guess, this law shall explicitly forbid verbal and/or psychologicial abuse, as well as the slapping and/or throwing of things at assistants, punishable by denying the offender assistance in the form of a living person for the rest of their days. And I think this law should extend into their twilight years as well – a nice helping of karma would be good for the soul as they contemplate their wicked life and wipe their own geriatric ass.
Who’s with me? Shall we get it on the books, then? Huzzah!
Yours in legal expertise,
SL Clive, Esq.
One year, I had three funerals to attend within a two month span. I can see how it may have been a little strange, hell, I thought it was strange and horrible. When I told my boss about the second funeral in only a week or so, he was very clear with me that I would have to bring in proof of some sort… cut an obit out of the paper, or if the funeral home had a “program” I could bring that in. All of the funerals were out of state, so I had to go online and print them. When I brought each of them to my boss to prove that these funerals were real, he acted really embarassed and like he didn’t really mean for me to have to do that.–Submitted by Layla, Atlanta
