Monthly Archive for June, 2007

celebrity assistant soapbox: wwgrd?

Published on June 29, 2007 in Celebrity Assistant Soapbox. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

Michael Jackson recently issued a statement wherein he attempted to “put to rest” some of the “rumors” that have been circulating about him. Usually we’d just yawn, mutter “whatever” and skip to the next item, but a little something caught our attention:

“(Mr. Jackson-if-you’re-nasty) is concerned that his assistant Grace Rwaramba, said to live a very private life, is constantly being attacked by Fox News’ Roger Friedman.”

Michael Jackson has an assistant? Of course he does, but wow – to actually put a name to that crazy lot in life is sort of demystifying and it got us thinking. What would be the duties of MJ’s assistant? A few ideas:

 

  • Wash Blanket (the child, not the noun)

  • Feed Bubbles (does he still have that monkey?)

  • Restock Jesus Juice

  • Dust and polish Diana Ross altar

  • Prank call Debbie Rowe

  • Replenish darts for Britney Spears dartboard

It must be an egregious job, especially when MJ is due for his annual nip/tuck. Grace Rwaramba, we understand and respect your desire for a private life, but if we happen to bump into you somewhere, we’re going to stalk you like paparazzi on Paris Hilton.

celebrity assistant followup: trace ayala

Published on June 28, 2007 in Former Assistants Done Good. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

Move over, Odessa Whitmire. Trace Ayala is the new kid on the assistant-becomes-fashion-entrepreneur train.

Some people work long and hard to make a career in fashion. And some people have the good sense to befriend Justin Timberlake in elementary school. Trace Ayala chose the latter path. After JT made it big, he hired Tennessee friend Ayala to be his personal assistant. It wasn’t long before Ayala was a mini-star in his own right, eventually becoming engaged to 24 star Elisha Cuthbert. Now, the two guys have teamed up to start clothing line William Rast, named after each of their grandfathers. (But which one is William and which one is Rast? The world needs to know!)

That also leaves us with another important question…who is JT’s assistant now? And does he or she want to write for us?

alcoholic, not so anonymous

Published on June 28, 2007 in Horror Stories. 0 Comments

My boss used to be an alcoholic. That’s great for him that he quit and everything, but I thought the point of AA was that you didn’t talk about being in AA? He asks me to check the meeting schedule for the closest AA group and schedule them on his calendar the way I schedule client lunches. So weird, but I guess technically part of my job. Thing is, he also has these AA friends (OK, I don’t know for sure that they’re AA friends, but they just say their first names, no last names) who I have to put through ANYTIME they call, even if he’s in some big important meeting with the board members. I’m starting to wonder if AA is actually just a cover for being in the mob.

So me dealing with his AA stuff is kind of weird, but not a pain. What’s really messed up is that anytime something goes wrong in the office, he accuses me of being an alcoholic. If I look tired in the morning he flat out asks me if was up late drinking. One–it is so not cool (or legal!) to ask me that! Two– even if I was, is it your business as long as I’m doing my work? I talked to my friend about it and she thinks he wants to sponsor me for AA. –Submitted By “Not Drunk,” Washington, DC

celebrity assistant soapbox: britney spears keeps it in the family

Published on June 27, 2007 in Celebrity Assistant Soapbox. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

It’s not unusual for celebrities to hire on personal friends to be their assistants. That way they have a built-in person to hang out with. Jessica Simpson did it on Newlyweds when she hired longtime friend CaCee Cobb to be her assistant, even though CaCee drove Nick (and everyone watching at home) insane.

Looks like Britney Spears has followed suit. After she dumped longtime assistant (and Britney and Kevin: Chaotic “costar”) Felicia Culotta, she’s hired her more age appropriate cousin Alli.

Hi, Alli? Nice to meet you. First, we want to thank you for visiting Brit in rehab. That was really nice. But if we could suggest one thing? Pick the girl out some better clothes. After a close examination of your outfit in this photo, maybe you should just hire a stylist. For both of you. It’ll be fun. Get a personal shopper!

And if we could suggest two things? Email us. Please.

tip of the week: do your research

Published on June 27, 2007 in Tip of the Week. 0 Comments

Think back to when you were registering for classes in college. There were a couple of points to consider: one, the actual class (interesting? required?); two, the time and day; and three, the professor. In order to make sure you didn’t get a total bore for your Intro to World Religion seminar, you polled your friends and asked who they’d taken the class with.

Well, now you can apply that same system to your job. Don’t go in there blind. The very smart site eBossWatch.com lets you research your boss or potential boss. That way you can know if they have a tendency for histrionics or a reputation for always coming in late. The site’s still pretty young, so let’s go ahead and start building their inventory with our own boss recommendations.

So report away. Consider it good assistant karma.

innovative artists agency assistants are in desperate need of saving

Published on June 26, 2007 in Assistants in the News and Hall of Shame. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

Thanks to STA reader Naia for passing along this email:

______________________________________________

Scott Harris, the President of Innovative Artists Agency in Santa Monica, announced, via MEMO, on Friday, that he was cutting ALL HEALTH BENEFITS for the 50+ assistants and LOWER-level employees, RETROACTIVE to June 1st. He stated that the decision was made “after much deliberation in the face of the ever-increasing costs of medical premiums.” However, the move did NOT affect the AGENTS or AGENT-TRAINEES, only the lower-level employees, all of whom earn inthe range of $400-$425/week. MAXIMUM. Harris only offers pay increases 1 time per year, in the amount of $25/week.

What does this mean? If an assistant stays at Innovative for 3 years, their ending salary would be $475. In addition, an amount of roughly $40 per WEEK is deducted to cover HEALTH BENEFITS. So, after each employee contributes an amount of about $170 PER MONTH for a health benefit program that only covers 60%, (after deductable), Mr. Harris decides to CUT the benefits for these GROSSLY underpaid assistants, in order to save money. Yet his cuts do NOT affect those whose salaries are MORE than enough to cover private health care. He even had the GALL to say this: “Most Innovative assistants are very young and do not have medical issues (and hence do not get much value from the coverage),” he wrote. Harris said the agency would institute a new pay structure for assistants that would allow them to make more money, which he felt was a higher priority for them.”

The worst part? He was OUT OF THE COUNTRY when he sent this memo.This coward didn’t even have the strength of character to FACE his employees when he cut their benefits. Why does this bother me? Many reasons:

Continue reading ‘innovative artists agency assistants are in desperate need of saving’

take this change and shove it

Published on June 25, 2007 in Horror Stories. 2 Comments

My boss isn’t a bad guy, but one of his main clients drives me absolutely up the wall. Client orders me around as if I’m his personal assistant and my boss is too nice to say anything about it. Client is always getting personal things delivered to our office. Doesn’t he have his own office? Or his own house, for that matter? It’s a total waste of my time. Finally today Client asked me to get coffee for him. He handed me five bucks and gave me his Starbucks order, which of course was super long and complicated.  Finally I get back to the office and hand Client his coffee and his, like, 57 cents in change. When I hand him the coins, he says, “Oh, no, why don’t you just keep it? I insist.”

Wow, you’re so generous. 57 cents! Maybe I should kiss your feet because you bestowed this on me, O Benevolent One. Who needs respect or dignity when they have two whole quarters? –Submitted by “Ready to Quit,” New York City

jessica paster makes wannabe assistants clean up dog pee

Published on June 25, 2007 in Celebrity Assistant Soapbox. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

It’s hard to be an assistant. But it’s sometimes just as hard to get the job in the first place.

Celebrity stylist Jessica Paster held an “open casting call” for a new assistant recently. And when the hopefuls showed up…

“We had to wait in line and were called in to see her one by one,” one interviewee said. “It was a mess. There were disorganized racks of dresses and piles of clothing she had pulled from designers all over the floor. Her little dog peed everywhere – including on the clothes – throughout the day, and we had to follow it around and clean up after it. It smelled.” For their efforts, the interviewees were served the only thing in the house: Lean Cuisine and Red Bull.

It’s hard to make Rachel Zoe look like a good alternative. Way to go, Jessica Paster!

For the full story, check out Page Six.

week in review: good news

Published on June 22, 2007 in Week in Review. 0 Comments

Yes, we’re exhausted too. Maybe we should curb the Friday afternoon office drinking.

This week has been surprisingly positive in STA-land. The evidence:

better than a raise? awesome boss gives assistant a kidney

Published on June 22, 2007 in My job ain't so bad. 0 Comments

If you read this site, it probably seems like everyone’s boss is a douchebag. To be fair, most of them are. But every once in a while we come across a story like this one.

In Morganton, NC (Lilit’s home state, which she is totally proud of), when admin assistant Lisa White needed a kidney transplant, she got one. From her boss.

Chris Jernigan, the director of Southmountain Children and Family Services in Nebo, said he had watched White, his friend and colleague of more than 11 years, struggle to come into work.

“I care very much about every employee and want to do everything I can to make it a better work place and to make their lives better,” Jernigan, of Morganton, said Wednesday on ABC’s “Good Morning America.” “This was just one more thing that I was able to do to help out a good friend and an employee.”

Our minds? Officially blown. Giving someone a kidney is a pretty righteous thing to do, and giving it to the person who makes your copies? That totally qualifies you as awesome.

On the minus side, though, that assistant is never going to be able to play hooky from work without feeling guilty.

[Thanks to both Michael and Justin for sending us this link within minutes of each other.]