guest post: tips for your first hollywood assistant job

Published
by
admin
on July 2, 2009
in Former Assistants Done Good, Guest Post and Survival Guide
. 0 Comments

Heather again. My friend Dan was an assistant in Hollywood and is now a writer and improv comic in New York. He made the most of his assistant job and moved up quickly. Here are some of his tips for your first assistant job in Hollywood.

I wasn’t an assistant for long before I got moved up to the development department where I was a much better fit.  But I was for several months an assistant to a fairly well known producer, in Hollywood no less.  Here’s my tips.

 

  • Be Lucky.  My boss and I never really got along well on a personal level.  There was no animosity, he just didn’t like my personality. He was still professional and I did the best work I could, for peanuts.  When I moved back to NY and worked for his partner (in development), it was a much better match.
  • Schmooze.  I got to hang out with some really cool and somewhat famous people.  You’re young.  They all want to mentor you.  You’re not a threat yet and if they help early on, you’ll love them forever.  A well known director shaped my view of what writing should be as we ate lunch at the coffee shop in my boss’s hotel, waiting for him.  An aspiring actress who’s now a movie star was happy to talk to me, in part because we were the only ones there under 30 (we were both 19).  These are good people and as the assistant, you’re not in competition with them yet.  Ask questions.  Ask them to try new things and for advice.  People love giving advice to young people. 
  • Work damn hard.  Produce good work.  I work slowly and methodically, which wasn’t always right for the task.  But I produce damn fine work and I was moved to a department that was a better fit.
  • Presentation matters.  I don’t care how good your spreadsheet of my daily activities is, I want it to pop and look nice enough to be in my office.  Production values should be as good as can be for everything.  Simple is always better.
  • Work for peanuts.  This is a chance to learn and jumpstart a career, a glorified internship, not a fat cash job.  That’s the difference between a secretary and an assistant.  Bring your own laptop.
  • Always say yes.  Can you do this?  I can figure it out.  That’s how I got to write coverage for the first time and got started on the path to being a writer.
  • Flirt.  I flirted with a studio head’s female protegé at a premiere and spoke passionately about the project during such time.  She put in a good word for our company and they upped our marketing budget.  You are a spokesman for your company and should believe in it.  As long as you care about the projects, it’s fine to mix it into your personal life.
  • Care about the projects.  You may have to work your ass off doing this meaningful thing, but it’s a component of releasing this FUCKING AWESOME MOVIE.

guest post: the assistants, coming soon to a television near you

Published
by
admin
on July 1, 2009
in Fictional Assistants and Guest Post
. 0 Comments

Hey guys, Garrett here.  So, I’ve shirked my guest post duties once this week — but, in my defense, I was/am/have been sick.  I’m fairly certain it isn’t swine flu (mostly … okay maybe less sure).  And yes, I’m still at work.

This friday, The N (for those who aren’t aware, home to the Canadian cult-hit Degrassi) premieres their new sitcom The Assistants.  The show follows four assistants in Hollywood as they compete for their boss’ approval.  If the above photo is any indication this will involve caring for a bonsai, which is no easy feat.  Let me tell you.

The official website doesn’t shed too much light on the show, but it DOES include quizzes that tell you how competitive or manipulative you are.  Because every good assistant knows, these are the keys to success.  Without those traits, we’d probably just yell a lot and fall over.  Here, take a look:

Finally, a show that seems to get what being an assistant in Hollywood is REALLY like.  Right?  …  Right?

Bueller?

guest post horror story: you want reservations where?

Published
by
admin
on June 30, 2009
in Uncategorized
. 0 Comments

Heather here with another horror story. I can so relate to this. What is it about executives that they always want to go to the place where you can’t get a reservation, at the time all the tables are full, tomorrow?

My company is based in London. Sometimes the big shots come over and I have to assist them on top of everyone else I do everything for. I am sure you can imagine what a delight this is. They can’t ever just ask for simple things like lunch reservations at Bobby Van’s. It is always something crazy like a helicopter at a time when there are no helicopters going where they want to go.  Of course they think this is the simplest task in the world.

One day I got a call from an assistant in London looking for help with a dinner reservation. She said the phone number didn’t work and she thought she might be dialing it wrong because it just rang and rang. I said, “Sure, I can call them no problem.” HA. It turned out to be a huge pain in my ass.

I called the restaurant multiple times and it rang and rang. I decided to google it because she must have had the number wrong. Why on earth would The Waverly Inn not have a working phone? I had no idea that this was the most exclusive restaurant in New York, owned by Graydon Carter, the Editor-in-Chief of Vanity Fair. It was part of their “charm” to only get reservations if you knew someone or had the rumored secret reservation line.

I emailed the London assistant to let her know the situation in hopes that she would help me out with this ridiculous task. I had no luck. I did everything I could think of to try and get a reservation. I asked all the people in the office if they knew anyone who could get us a reservation or if they knew the secret number. They just laughed at me and said good luck. I asked all my friends with the same results. After more research I found that you might be able to get a reservation for a month in advance if you actually went to the restaurant. I didn’t have that much time but I figured it was worth a try. Their entrance is hidden too, of course, but I made plans to go down there myself and beg if I had to.

I informed Big Shot and his assistant of my plan and let them know I couldn’t make any guarantees. Just before I left the office I got an email from Big Shot saying he would do it himself. Of course, only after I had spent an entire week trying to solve this problem he would decide to do it himself.

I should have known that “doing it himself” meant calling one of his big shot friends and getting his assistant to do it for him. This assistant worked for a company that was a client of Vanity Fair had the secret rumored reservation number so she only had to pick up the phone and place the reservation.  No pain involved. I decided to be happy it was done and I didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

The day after his dinner Big Shot asked me to send flowers to the assistant who got him the reservation. I couldn’t believe after all my hard work and determination, when his own assistant gave up that, he would not only send flowers to someone else but make me do it. How’s that for a smack in the face?

- Submitted by Ann

guest post review: 9 to 5 the musical

Published
by
admin
on June 30, 2009
in Uncategorized
. 0 Comments

I recently saw 9 to 5 the Musical on Broadway.  I saw it on a Thursday  night after a particularly frustrating day at work and this was definitely  the cure. Alison Janney, Megan Hilty and Stephanie J. Block were  hilarious and had great chemistry together. I wished they worked in my  office instead of the one other female who thinks she’s a princess and  creates drama.

Dolly Parton, hero to STA, did an amazing job with the music and it  took the story to another level entirely. The fantasy sequences were my  favorite. Their takes on getting even with the boss were exhilarating.  Kathy Fitzgerald stole the show as Roz singing in the bathroom in her musical number. I don’t know about you but I’ve had days when I wish I  could escape to the ladies room and belt out a tune.

The musical also showed how far women have come in the workplace  as well as how far we have to go. There are so many things in the show  that they accomplished that are status quo these days.  I think it is important to understand what the women before us overcame in the workplace so we can fully appreciate their progress. 9 to 5 is a fun way to do this. 

Grab a couple of your assistant friends after work, go to TKTS and get discounted tickets for 9 to 5 the Musical. It’s more fun than happy hour. You can follow them on twitter @tdfnyc to see if they have tickets on sale that day. Tickets are subject to availability. You may leave the office defeated but you will leave the theater with a smile on your face.

- Heather

guest post horror story: bed buddies

Published
by
admin
on June 25, 2009
in Guest Post and Horror Stories
. 0 Comments

Heather here. As I said Tuesday I am launching a new blog crackoutblackout.com with my friend Leah today. A Crackout Blackout is when someone has a few too many drinks and does hilarious things that they might forget. Their friends will remember however and remind them later while laughing at them. Our blog shares those hilarious stories with you. I have chosen to share this work Christmas party horror story today. Stop by our site and say hello or follow us on twitter @crkoutblkout.

A few years ago I went to the company fancy dress Christmas party in London. I got sick on the way there and had to take a Claritin after we landed. I ran around the city all afternoon before the party and realized I hadn’t eaten since the middle of the night before on the plane.  I had no idea this would turn out to be a horrible mistake.

I must say partying with the Brits is the best. They love to drink and know how to have a good time. We arrived at the party and immediately got to drinking. I had one glass of champagne and quickly moved on to glass number two followed soon after by an endless supply of red and white wine with dinner. I never saw the bottom of either glass.

We went back to the hotel at 2:30 AM after clubbing with one of the Brits in tow where we drank ourselves silly in Jessica’s room. The next thing I knew it was morning and bottles were everywhere. “How did I end up in frat house?” I wondered. Then I realized I was not in a frat house… I was passed out cold in Jessica’s bed. And she was right next to me.

I said without thinking, “Oh no, I didn’t make it back to my room?” I didn’t expect a response but Jessica said sheepishly, “No, you fell asleep and we couldn’t wake you up.”

That was my cue to leave. I went back to my room mortified. On the way I noticed I had hot pink dye on my cheek and collar bone from someone’s feather boa that I had passed out wearing. Finally in my room, I noticed something was different. Someone had slept in the other bed. Then I noticed the towels in the bathroom were everywhere. I wondered where Goldilocks was and then I went back to sleep in my own bed.

A little while later, I tried to scrub the dye off my cheek with no success when I realized it could be disguised with blush. I took some smartly packed Advil and made my way into the office extremely late, hung-over and without a voice.

Once there, I tracked down Jane, the Brit who took us to the club. “Um, what happened last night?” I asked a few times until she understood my squeaking. The look on her face told me I wasn’t getting the whole story. At least not from her.

“Well, we went to a club after the party was over. I’m surprised they didn’t kick us out. Some of the guys picked up Jessica and were holding her up over their heads. We were pretty wild,” said Jane. Either she didn’t remember anything else or she wasn’t telling me the rest.

Once I found Jessica I got some more information. I made out with an Indian guy at the club and the guys had raided everyone’s mini bars once we got back to the hotel. Turns out the guy I was sitting a few computers away from had slept in my room when he finally remembered my room number at 6:30 AM and they couldn’t wake me. I thought maybe my mini bar was safe since they didn’t know my room number but I found out they went through it once the mystery of my room number was solved.

I still don’t know all the events of the evening but most of the company knows I slept in my female colleagues bed. Now that is what I call a successful company Christmas party.

- Submitted by Anonymous

guest post: hollywood assistants get their own movie

Published
by
admin
on June 24, 2009
in Fictional Assistants and Guest Post
. 0 Comments

The first half of the trailer is pretty good, but then it just gets earnest. Let us know what you think.

guest post horror story: TLC

Published
by
admin
on June 23, 2009
in Guest Post and Horror Stories
. 0 Comments

Heather here. I don’t know about you but I can’t stand doing personal errands for my boss. Hopefully your boss isn’t as unfeeling as this one.

My boss made me get his old briefcase fixed for him. I am really busy with actual work so personal errands really piss me off. I finally got around to boxing it up a few days ago when I read the description. “Old case but my favorite and a dependable road companion. Needs some TLC to bring back to life.” This was just too much.

I wanted to go sell it at my favorite vintage store and tell him it got lost in the mail. I am overworked, underpaid and falling apart. When am I going to get my TLC?

- Submitted by Helena, NY

guest post: from executive assistant to senior VP

Published
by
admin
on June 23, 2009
in Former Assistants Done Good and Guest Post
. 0 Comments

It is always important to put your best foot forward whatever job you have. It doesn’t matter if you are just working for a living or want to move up in your current industry, you should always do your best. If you can make a lasting impression as a helpful employee with something to contribute you might be able to work that to your advantage later on.

Bill McGoldrick has made that transition from executive assistant to VP in just over 10 years. According to the Hollywood Reporter McGoldrick started out as an executive assistant at USA Network in 1998. He advanced as far as he could at USA and then moved to Spike TV where he worked his way up to Senior VP of programming. He is soon returning to USA where he will be senior VP of scripted programming. His former boss at USA always wanted him back on his team.

“Bill is a great friend and a phenomenal creative executive,” said Jeff Wachtel, president, USA original programming, to whom he’ll report. “Bringing him back home to USA is something we’ve been trying to do ever since he left. It’s a move that we feel will make one of the best network development teams in the business even better.”

Showing you have what it takes as an executive assistant can sometimes lead to being an executive. If you are a productive employee that adds value to the team, the job that you hate could turn into the career you’ve always wanted.

- Posted by Heather

guest post: if you can make it here

Published
by
admin
on June 23, 2009
in Guest Post
. 0 Comments

Hi all, Heather here. I am also helping out for a few days while Lilit is away. I run an adult daycare center, I mean, office in NYC. I dream of the days when I don’t have to schedule play dates, I mean, meetings and clean up after the children or employees as they like to call themselves. I have contributed some horror stories, but like Garrett this my first time guest blogging. I am working on a fun new blog with my friend Leah that is launching Thursday so look out for my own shameless promotion then.

guest post: “the proposal”, or how i learned to stop worrying and love my boss

Published
by
admin
on June 22, 2009
in Fictional Assistants, Former Assistants Done Good and Guest Post
. 1 Comment

On Friday night, a friend and I did our best to fuel the economy by going to see The Proposal, starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds.

As Lilit has mentioned before, Reynolds plays the assistant to Bullock’s tough as nails (and maybe a little emotionally damaged) publishing executive.  When there’s a mix up involving her visa, she coerces him into marrying her in order to avoid being deported and (SPOILER ALERT) they ultimately fall in love.  Like you didn’t see that one coming.

As any good tyrranical boss would, Bullock uses her best tools to get Reynolds to marry her: intimidation and abuse.  Until, that is — and here’s where the ranks of assistants who went to see this movie undoubtably went “Hell yes!” — he realizes that the assistant/boss power dynamic has shifted in his favor.  This, along with their amazing chemistry, provides fodder for some extremely gratifying interplay when they visit his family for the weekend.

Pete Chiarelli, the film’s screenwriter, worked as an assistant after grad school but didn’t have a terrible experience of his own to draw from:

The idea came from me working in Hollywood, but isn’t autobiographical. Although I did work as an assistant to a woman, she was a very cool boss. However, I did have a lot of friends who worked for horrible bosses, men and women who were completely self-centered and tyrannical. But what struck me is that it paid for these bosses to be this way, it paid off for them professionally. It made sense for them to be an asshole. So, what would happen if you took one of these bosses out of their environment and forced them to act like a real human being?

What if, indeed.