Fashion Designer’s New Job Announced … Via LinkedIn

When something big happens at a company, like a fashion house hiring a new head designer, they’ll announce the news in a press release. Or, if you’re Matthieu Blazy, you can just jump the gun by updating your LinkedIn profile. Although Blazy’s new job hadn’t been publicly announced yet, he has already changed his LinkedIn profile to indicate he’s the new head designer for Maison Martin Margiela. Felicitations, Matthieu! Now let’s hope you don’t get fired for letting the news slip.

New Career Options For Casey Anthony

Now that Florida “tot mom” Casey Anthony has inexplicably been found not guilty of killing her daughter Caylee, she is going to need something else to do with her time besides be on trial. I have some suggestions!

  • Visit OJ Simpson in jail
  • Play self in Lifetime movie
  • Launch personal style blog
  • Go to Disneyland (not Universal Studios, obvi)
  • Write tell all book
  • Take over Dr. Kevorkian’s practice
  • Start project to hunt down the real killer
  • Do sitdown interview with Barbara Walters and/or Diane Sawyer
  • Finally get around to finishing that PhD in Victorian Poetry
  • Become Farrah’s new BFF on Teen Mom
  • Find God and join a convent

John Galliano Became a Racist Because His Assistant Died

Former Christian Dior designer John Galliano was fired from his post earlier this year when video emerged of Galliano making anti-Semitic remarks in a Paris cafe. Now, Galliano is on trial in France (making such comments is illegal there). Among his rebuttals? He says that following the death of his personal assistant and confidant Steven Robinson in 2007, his life began to fall apart. Like many creative people, Galliano counted on having someone between him and the money people at Dior, and that person was Robinson. In his defense, Galliano says that he became depressed after Robinson’s death and that having to deal directly with business people started to stress him out, eventually driving him to drink.

Here’s the thing: when I was an assistant, my boss relied on me heavily. He didn’t know how to dial a telephone or turn on a computer without my help. But when I quit, he didn’t go on a bender or start hurling anti-Semitic comments at other people. He just hired another assistant. I understand that Galliano and his assistant were also close friends, and that dealing with a loss like that cannot be easy. But if Galliano was just such a special snowflake that any interaction with non-creatives made him stressed, he should have hired someone else to fulfill the assistant part of Robinson’s job. And anti-Semitism is not an appropriate way to deal with grief. Get some therapy. Take time off from your job to clear your head. Go on antidepressants. But making racist comments isn’t okay, even when you’re dealing with pain. And, just like a million other bosses, John Galliano is blaming everything on his assistant.

How to Be Black At Work

Comedian Baratunde Thurston has a new book coming out entitled How to Be Black, which he describes as “personal essays documenting my own “coming of blackness,” satirical advice on how to be black in certain situations and interviews with people doing black “well,” and in unexpected ways.” One of the essays in the book is “How to Be the Black Employee,” and he has posted an excerpt on Facebook. It’s a great read, and I’m really looking forward to checking out the whole thing. Here’s a particularly powerful excerpt of the excerpt:

The truth is that you have two jobs.

The first is the explicit job, for which you were hired. This is the job you saw posted on the web or heard about through a friend. It’s the job title printed on your business card and in the company directory. It’s what you put on your LinkedIn profile. For the sake of argument, let’s say the job was Research Associate. When you heard about this position, you were excited. Why? Because you love research, and you’re good at it. You prepared yourself. You updated your resume. You boosted your past research experience and added personal details that connect you to the type of research this job requires. You read the company’s website thoroughly. You Googled the business. You may even have done your own research on particular employees, especially management. You are prepared to be an excellent Research Associate, and when you get the job, and sign the papers and show up for your first day, that’s a role you are excited to play.

The thing is, you were also hired for another job: your blackness. That’s not to say you were merely accepted due to some affirmative action quota. If that were the case, nothing more would be expected of you than simply being black and doing job number one above. That would make you a research associate who happens to be black. No, you have another job with specific responsibilities far beyond inhabiting your skin. The people who hired you likely weren’t even conscious of this extra job. It’s not as if they had one meeting about your research skills and another about your blackness talents. Nevertheless, they expect great things from you, even if subconsciously.  In job number two you will be expected to

a) Represent the black community

b) Defend the company against charges of racism or lack of diversity

c) Increase the coolness of the office environment by enthusiastically participating in company events

If you dig into this, you might conclude that you have two, three or even four jobs because your blackness duty combines the roles of politician, lawyer and entertainer. Now you’re Jamaican! For the sake of simplicity and sanity, however, we will keep these jobs consolidated under the umbrella of your second job.

The rest of the Facebook note is here.

Monday Coffee: You Need Your .5 Of An Hour Back

How to quit your day job. Wait, you mean setting the office on fire as you walk away cackling isn’t actually a good idea? – Consumerist

The average American worker works 8.5 hours a week. So much for the 40 hour workweek. – Gawker

The real workplace battle is taking place and the battleground is the candy jar. Some say it makes everyone fat; some say it makes everyone happy. I say there’s a reason the phrase “fat and happy” exists. – Wall Street Journal

NOT winning – Charlie Sheen’s behavior of late provides some excellent tips for getting fired. – The Work Buzz

It may not be as obvious as Mad Men or The Office, but Discovery’s Deadliest Catch is a workplace show too. – Salon

Here’s how to explain to your parents why you’re unemployed – in handy infographic form! – I Love Charts

Can a fad diet help you get promoted? Yes, but not in the way you think. – Blisstree

Time Traveler Seeks Assistant

I just watched Back to the Future for the first time (I know, it’s shameful) and am obsessed with time travel. So the idea of responding to this ad for a time traveler’s assistant is looking reeeeeeeeeally tempting right now.

Buzzword: The Glass Cliff

You’ve probably heard of the glass ceiling – a concept where women in the workforce can only rise to a certain level, no matter what they do or how well they do it – but the glass cliff is a new one. The glass cliff is when a woman does get the coveted position, but she’s set up to fail so a man can then step back in. Slate’s Double X blog, which deals with women’s issues, believes that CBS news anchor Katie Couric is an example of the glass cliff – she made history as the first female prime time network news anchor, but her ratings were low and she’s reportedly leaving the job this summer. Do you agree or disagree with this phenomenon? Do you think Katie Couric is simply leaving a job she wasn’t that good at, or did CBS set her up for failure?

The Perfect Office Gift

Okay, this tea probably can’t make you and your coworkers get along better, but it sounds pretty tasty regardless.

[Via Perpetual Kid]

Meghan McCain Says a Breakup Is a Great Excuse to Miss Work

Maybe Meghan McCain should move to Japan and work for Hime and Company – she thinks that it’s totally acceptable to miss work if you’re dealing with a breakup. Although she was scheduled to make a speaking engagement, she reportedly blew it off to go to Vegas with her girlfriends following a big breakup. She wrote about it on The Daily Beast:

Last September, my boyfriend broke up with me over a five-line email. I had a speaking engagement at Juniata College, but that would have to wait. I cancelled the speech and fled to Vegas for a girl’s weekend. I was at the blackjack table at the Bellagio when one of my girlfriends told me the Internet was going crazy. What now? “Meghan McCain Blows Off Book Tour to Party in Vegas,” declared Gawker. The Chronicle of Higher Education weighed in with, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas—unless you’re arrogant enough to post it to your Twitter feed.” It wasn’t so much that I had cancelled a speaking engagement. It was that I was in Vegas instead.

Now, if only the rest of us could get away with that at work.

Marc Jacobs’ Intern Goes Rogue on Twitter

… and the results are pretty spectacular. Hat tip: Rebecca Rose.